Want more Herpes? or "Uber WTF's Part IV" (2313 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.5 on 63 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Loren (View user info) at 2004-04-15 11:03:48 EDT
I haven't had much time lately, and I am SURE I missed some real gems, but these are the ones I stumbled across which cracked me up.
The links give a better explaination as to why I started to do these in the first place, it's not necessarily a "funniest -2 post" deal like Rizzo's.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/5736
http://www.ubersite.com/m/7095
http://www.ubersite.com/m/5115
So without further ado, here it is, as Herpes requested (and I aim to please) - installment #4 of Uber "WHAT THE FUCKS?" aka: hysterical responses to posts for all to enjoy. Or not. Fuck it, I tried.
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Submitted by: colonbowell
Title of post: "First night w/ hydro, getting drunk"
Rated by: angrykoz
Ranking: -2
Comment: "I skull fucked a retard and got this post as a door prize...."
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Submitted by: Ess2s2
Title of post: "Watching the Clock"
Rated by: reallybored
Ranking: +2
Comment: "Im entirely too shallow to even read this post."
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Submitted by: Hidden101
Title of post: "Good vs. Evil"
Rated by: BongZilla
Ranking: 0
Comment: "cars are still stupid. "
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Submitted by: Raymond
Title of post: "My picture, since everybody seems to be doing it "
Rated by: Despiadado
Ranking: -1
Comment: "It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever."
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Submitted by: Loki
Title of post: "New Iraqi Dinar "
Rated by: CaptainObvious
Ranking: 2
Comment: "As if Phinch has never seen the inside of a stripper's thong... "
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Submitted by: -J-
Title of post: "Quit bitching and deal"
Rated by: Bart
Ranking: -2
Comment: "Ok, here's some advice for you -J-, if that is your real name:"
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Submitted by: jimmy schmeltzy
Title of post: "#1 Post of the day?!?!"
Rated by: Loki
Ranking: -2
Comment: " This was like watching a train wreck. I knew it was awful but I just couldn't pull myself away. "
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Submitted by: nigerianscambuster (?)
Title of post: "Bunch of immature idiots"
Rated by: deadsnoopy
Ranking: -2
Comment: "This proves that the genepool needs a lifegaurd. "
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Submitted by: crackergirl84
Title of post: "I lost my scholarship - my life is over"
Rated by: SpikeGoddess
Ranking: 0
Comment: "My first piece of advice is not to post crap on Uber. "
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Submitted by: mother_shitface
Title of post: "Stupid Fucking Ex-Boyfriend "
Rated by: DrunkMonk
Ranking: -1
Comment: ""i think only because we were together for 5 years" ..."Holy Shit, you've been dating this guy since you were 7"
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Submitted by: JustSomeLoser
Title of post: "The biggest lie your loved one (or f*** buddy) ever told you???"
Rated by: potatomanjack
Ranking: -2
Comment: "This post just goes to show that a little suck can go a long way."
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Submitted by: Sideburns
Title of post: "FUCK DATING"
Rated by: Raimee
Ranking: 1
Comment: "The truth is there are a lot of bitchy girls out there."
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Submitted by: Mr. Right
Title of post: "Who wants some (1st timer) "
Rated by: Sideburns
Ranking: -2
Comment: " If you've been reading for a year, you wouldn't have posted this."
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Submitted by: DA MUNK!
Title of post: "Jesus Christ is the Messiah"
Rated by: Phinch
Ranking: 0
Comment: "paging insanethemind."
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Submitted by: DyerBm
Title of post: "These Women Are Not Sex Objects, You Bandwagon-Riding, Blind Bastards."
Rated by: dohnuts
Ranking:-2
Comment: "I didn't think it was physically possible, but this post both sucks AND blows."
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Submitted by: Loren1
Title of post: "I JUST burst into flames"
Rated by: loki
Ranking: 2
Comment: "Now she's fired up. "
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Submitted by: Jamesus
Title of post: "Lurking no more"
Rated by: WillZone
Ranking: 0
Comment: "a zero, since you have kids to feed. "
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Submitted by: Spike Goddess
Title of post: "I Swear, I am an Actor."
Rated by: hendrixjrr
Ranking: 0
Comment: "I swear, I'm a Gynecologist."
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Submitted by: coley
Title of post: "my inner thigh" - a photo addition"
Rated by: Yes
Ranking: 2
Comment: "neato. I had 1/2 my face eaten by a wolf/German Shepard mix when I was 4.."
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Submitted by: kevboyh
Title of post: "How old R U?"
Rated by: potatomanjack
Ranking: 0
Comment: "My cat's breath smells like cat food."
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Submitted by: ReallyBored
Title of post: "What it takes to be A Man's Man"
Rated by: SiliconJesus
Ranking: 0
Comment: "The only thing I can agree with aside from loren beating you in a non-sexual, non rewarding way, is that Deion Sanders should be shot."
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User Reviews
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-08-06 16:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
v. nice
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-05-26 16:04:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahaha!! This is what I just saw on one of mine.
>That Girl, by lojope
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-05-26 15:59:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you on a cellphone?
I don't smoke weed I never wrote that post.
PRANK CALLER PRANK CALLER!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-26 15:36:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rated by: hendrixjrr
Ranking: 0
Comment: "I swear, I'm a Gynecologist."
that one was the best.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-05-04 00:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Hey (Ubersite) WHAT THE FUCK?!?" Gilbert Godfrey
Submitted by Katia69 (user info) at 2004-05-03 23:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is skull fucking?
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2004-04-29 12:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You made me remember that Raimee one, aahahahaha.
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2004-04-26 22:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loren, you rock
Submitted by noonelikesyou (user info) at 2004-04-22 11:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is a total waste!!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-04-17 20:06:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I almost missed this.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-04-16 19:20:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NEGutiF TOO 4 b33n A fAgot BICH!!!
I hate babysitting children on Uber. Just say no, kids.
Loren, dig deeper next time. I HAD to have said something funny. Oh wait, I guess reviews just aren't as funny because a year ago they were few and far between. Now it overrates the constructive comments.
Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-04-16 16:34:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for being a dumb bitch
Submitted by Thunderlips (user info) at 2004-04-16 12:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
THIS IS GREAT!
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-04-15 21:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi Loren, its always nice to hear from you
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2004-04-15 21:20:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Most of these weren't that funny but you get a 0 for effort.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-15 18:07:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you "aim to please", may I request some animalistic, wild and sweaty sex?
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-15 17:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, it's quite odd that we both posted a large dog at the bottom of our ratings collection posts.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-04-15 17:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jah, ich habe.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-04-15 17:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Huh?
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-04-15 14:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
these weren't even funny
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-04-15 14:15:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Freudian-isms" rule
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-04-15 14:06:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha... you wrote "meat"
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-04-15 14:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's a date than.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-04-15 13:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There's nothing I love more than an arrogant 13 year old.
LowSodium - SURE! I'll meat you at the top of the Empire State Building in the year 2034. I'll bring the Geritol!
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-04-15 13:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
reallybored -
HEY!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/10934
That's my honey. As much as I'm allowed to put on the internet.
.... what the heck where you looking for when you found that second pic?
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2004-04-15 13:50:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Loren's Biggest Fan at 2004-04-15 13:37:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd argue more, but I have to get to study hall.
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This could possibly be on the next one.
God Ive missed these...
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2004-04-15 13:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by: nigerianscambuster (?)
Title of post: "Bunch of immature idiots"
Rated by: deadsnoopy
Ranking: -2
Comment: "This proves that the genepool needs a lifegaurd. "
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That was great. I cant believe I missed this one!
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-04-15 13:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me smile (+1)
Submitted by Loren's Biggest Fan at 2004-04-15 13:37:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd argue more, but I have to get to study hall.
Submitted by GreenGiant at 2004-04-15 13:35:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Once again, flipping out. I offer intelligent criticisms, you offer name calling.
I do agree with what you say, though, anybody can come and post anything they want, which means I can post replies all day long, which I'm sure you're so desperately hoping I do, propelling you to the top of the Most Heated list and validating your existence. You just love the attention. Do you cry yourself to sleep at night? This isn't where you wanted to be in life, is it? Arguing with a 13-year-old on the internet over whether or not you're a hypocrite? This is your idea of a good time? Personally, I love it when someone who is 42 gives me this much attention.
Name calling is the argument tool of the weak-minded.
By the way, not that I care about my own posts, but the problem was that the attachment was 3MB, which I believe is too big.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-15 13:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
f something ever happened to my wife and she is out of the picture (God forbid) would you consider nookie with me? Mercy nookie? You know. If you're single also. Like if later down the road you were married and you're husband would happen to get hit by a truck or something. Or if we were like old and nasty and both of our spouses were six feet under. I need to start working on contingency plans.
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I always forget that LSM is hitched. I wonder what type of woman puts up with his silly monkey antics on a daily basis...hmm...
could it be?...
http://www.hants.gov.uk/hcc/strategy/images/lady.jpg
or maybe...
http://tinyurl.com/2oft3
nah, its probably
http://tinyurl.com/3hxd8
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-04-15 13:22:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
im sad that im not on this. : (
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-04-15 13:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's worth noting again, GreenGiant, you're easily the most boring user on this site - for someone who doesn't even know how to submit, you have an awful lot of negative opinions to share.
You sound a poster child for Prozac. Now go do your homework, and clean your room.
Newsflash: People can post any-fucking-thing they like on here. What you think means nothing, and you very clearly have nothing to contribute yourself:
"Me Playing Guitar"
"Me Playing Guitar"
"Me Playing Guitar"
"Me Playing Guitar"
"Me Playing Guitar"
Wow.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-15 13:11:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't listen to him Loren the majority of us love these.
Submitted by GreenGiant at 2004-04-15 13:08:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loren, I could really care less about dropping your rating. I'm not logged in, so my ratings don't count anyway.
I just think it's absolutely hilarious how easy it is to get a rise out of you with any -2 that anybody gives you.
I love the way you try to decimate anybody's satisfaction with their post with some biting comment.
I love that you do this, even though your average post is just some crappy story you threw together in 2 minutes or some collection of crap that took no original thought at all.
I love that you do this, but you can't take the heat yourself. You never let a -2 go by without flipping out about it.
Keep up the fight, get everybody who hates you to come in here and give you a -2, I don't care.
I'm just pointing out things that you'd be pointing out yourself, if you weren't you.
I don't hate you, and that was only the second -2 I've given you. Don't be so sensitive. I'm just saying, at least take the 15 minutes to put together a decent photoshop or something.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-04-15 12:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If something ever happened to my wife and she is out of the picture (God forbid) would you consider nookie with me? Mercy nookie? You know. If you're single also. Like if later down the road you were married and you're husband would happen to get hit by a truck or something. Or if we were like old and nasty and both of our spouses were six feet under. I need to start working on contingency plans.
Damn it. Have I gone too far again?
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-04-15 12:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm hurt GreenGiant.
No, really.
It devastates me that someone like you, who has stated to me in your infinite wisdom *chokes* that I "need to try harder" has what, 4 or 5 of his own submissions, each one a complete failure. You couldn't even figure out how to post a fucking graphic, you tool.
If you don't find it enjoyable to read through a post like this, I'm not holding a gun to your head to do so.
Go find someone else to stalk during study hall. I have enough annoying, miserable teenaged idiots in my wake on this site as it is. You are not the first, and unfortunately, I know you won't be the last. In other words, you are not special.
Oh, and for the record "Sprout" -
Keep giving me -2s and you'll get me on the most heated list, which is FAR better for hits than a high rank, you moron, just in case you hadn't figured that out. God you're an idiot.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2004-04-15 12:41:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yay! +2 loren for not leaving me out, Thanks! I feel all noticed and stuff. Another good post, I love these things.
-BongZilla
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-04-15 12:35:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Though he -2'd the shit out of me, I have to include a comment Mr Rude left me.
"Submitted by Mr._Rude (user info) at 2004-03-08 17:24:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy shit, if ever a post deserves a -2 this is it. I had trouble getting past your first queer-ass sentence and I only made it to the third before I decided you were fucking garbage and I stopped reading to tell you what a dick face you are.
Forgive me if this post has numerous typos. I'm running on fumes. You see, apparently birds aren't required to complete any sort of etiquette course or training.
Burn in hell you bore."
I laughed my nuts off when I read that.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-15 12:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay! I got attention!
And I must say.... WTF?!
Submitted by GreenGiant at 2004-04-15 12:26:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is about 1 step away from http://www.ubersite.com/m/13363
Wow, if I type in a bunch of things users say, everyone will +2 me! Yay!
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-04-15 12:21:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by: colonbowell
Title of post: "First night w/ hydro, getting drunk"
Rated by: angrykoz
Ranking: -2
Comment: "I skull fucked a retard and got this post as a door prize...."
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I kind of wanted to swallow that milk I had been drinking. Damn you.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-04-15 12:18:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by: colonbowell
Title of post: "First night w/ hydro, getting drunk"
Rated by: angrykoz
Ranking: -2
Comment: "I skull fucked a retard and got this post as a door prize...."
Fucking hysterical!
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-04-15 12:16:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sadly, I'm not on this one. I guess thats what happens when you slack off on your Uber-attendance. Even without my genius, though, this was still pretty good.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:59:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Want more Herpes?
_____________________
I've got enough as is.
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love these things. Its like the best of ubersite all wrapped up in a little post. So nice. So pleasant. Almost gooey, even.
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:39:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I made it! I guess I'm always good for a WTF moment.
Submitted by speeddaimon (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I went through all of them, and not once did my name come up. I'm a little disappointed by that. But this was still great. Nice Work.
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by: Raymond
Title of post: "My picture, since everybody seems to be doing it "
Rated by: Despiadado
Ranking: -1
Comment: "It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever."
*************
That was great.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My infamous post has turned into one giant WTF over night.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:31:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:29:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Next time, I will refrain from drinking coffee while reading one of these.
Now I've got a stain on my shirt, thanks.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:25:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
RB - HOW much do we love that one? Shhh... don't get me into trouble. Hahahahaha. God it's just priceless.
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It makes you wonder what people se.....um yeah.
Submitted by drstrangedhruv (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:22:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
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Submitted by: mother_shitface
Title of post: "Stupid Fucking Ex-Boyfriend "
Rated by: DrunkMonk
Ranking: -1
Comment: ""i think only because we were together for 5 years" ..."Holy Shit, you've been dating this guy since you were 7"
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Hahaha
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
RB - HOW much do we love that one? Shhh... don't get me into trouble. Hahahahaha. God it's just priceless.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by: Sideburns
Title of post: "FUCK DATING"
Rated by: Raimee
Ranking: 1
Comment: "The truth is there are a lot of bitchy girls out there."
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Awesome.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:14:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking sweet. I love this.
Thanks Loren.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Lowsodium, are you stalking me? If so... cool."
maybe
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:11:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry mystiamoon, Herpes was the one I noticed.
Lowsodium, are you stalking me? If so... cool.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:08:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah? Well try this:
Go to google.com
Type in ubersite
Hit "I'm Feeling Lucky"
Yeah, when I was told, it surprised me too.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
boo I was the one begging you to do more of these...oh well I'm glad you did anyway I love these.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-04-15 11:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
;)