Angry Music Makes For Angry Drivers (2600 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Geting_My_Shit_Ruined
Rating: 1.93 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jimbo (View user info) at 2004-04-16 13:26:04 EDT
I love music, but my tastes vary day by day. One day I may feel like listening to Sly & the Family Stone, the next day it might be Sabbath, the next,
Peter Gabriel. It really just depends on my mood in the morning before I go to work.
I used to drive a '91 Escort. It was a decent enough car, and I never had any troubles with it. It was only really used to get to and from work. It was a basic transport. Stick shift, no CD player, no automatic anything. Which was fine, except I like to listen to my CDs a lot. My wife, being the beautiful, wonderful woman that she is, bought me a CD player for my car on my birthday two weeks ago. That turned out to be a mistake.
The thing was, I REALLY wanted to listen to my Punk-O-Rama CD that morning. The POR discs have just some of my favorite songs on them. The music gets me pumped up on my way to work, which can't be a bad thing, right? I mean, no one wants to go to work all sleepy-eyed, right?
There's a song on POR 8 by Raised Fist, called "Get This Right!". If you ask me, one exclamation point is not nearly enough in the title of that song. If you've never heard the tune, I can best describe it as Riot Music, or maybe Three State Killing Spree Music, or Let's Fuck Up Some Shit Music. Just a very aggressive song. Not what I would call a ballad. Here's the link where you can sample the tune: http://www.epitaph.com/bands/index.php?id=294 Just click on the arrow next to "Get this right!".
So there I was on the 465 beltway, cutting in and out of traffic, daring people to fuck with me, shouting along to the lyrics. Since I can't understand fuck-all of what the guy is singing, I was just shouting:
"RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH!!!!!!"
Get out of my way, Motherfucker!!
"RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH!!!!!!"
Bitch, get out of the fast lane with your slow ass Tercel!!
"RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH!!!!!!"
I kill you all!! I kill you all!! I kill you all!! I kill you all!! RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Unfortunately, I misjudged the distance between two 18-wheelers I was trying to cut between, and I clipped the back bumper of one of them, which put me into a spin. Now, I'm sure you're all aware that the Escort is not a heavy car. That is to say, recovering from a skid or a spin is a fruitless endeavor. So I just gave up. I let go of the steering wheel, tucked my hands under the seat belt, and tried my best to go limp and enjoy the ride.
'Wheee! This is fun!' I thought to myself as I approached the shoulder.
'Uh oh, this doesn't look good', my alternate personality chimed in as the shoulder induced my car to flip over and violently roll down an embankment at 90 mph.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" I shrieked like a baby.
When I came to, the paramedics were dragging my fucked up self out of the car, and the POR disc was still playing. This time it was on Bad Religion's "Shattered Faith". How apropos.
My wife will only let me listen to Harry Connick Jr. CDs in my new car now.
User Reviews
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-08-09 13:53:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-04-16 13:37:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
I listened to that song. Then I went down the street to the pet store and broke the feet of every bunny they had for sale.
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Seriously, how much funnier does it get?
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-08-09 13:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by danieldandy (user info) at 2004-07-16 12:22:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sucks to be you. nice post. entertaining.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-07-16 12:07:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That sucks that you were in a wreck, but this was very amusing.
Submitted by Cryopaul (user info) at 2004-07-16 11:32:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This reminds me of when I wrecked my wife's car (a '94 Altima). It was raining and I had left the house pissed for some reason or another. So I'm going down the freeway in the pouring rain at 80mph jamming out to Ozzy when I hear it. The worst sound to hear when you're driving. The sounds of hydroplaning. Next thing I know I'm in an ambulance getting mouth to mouth from some guy named Jake. I had ended up rear ending some guy who was 50ft from being home. The car was totaled, everybody was fine, and my wife was pissed...until I had to buy her a brand new car.
Submitted by laurenthepirate (user info) at 2004-05-14 22:44:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH!!!!!!"
Get out of my way, Motherfucker!!
"RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH!!!!!!"
Bitch, get out of the fast lane with your slow ass Tercel!!
"RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH!!!!!!"
I kill you all!! I kill you all!! I kill you all!! I kill you all!! RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
...................................................................................................
RAH RAH RAAAAH!
+2
RAH RAH RAAAAHH MOTHERFUCKER! :D
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-04-20 22:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2004-04-17 09:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lets face it, there are few better things to do with a '91 Escort. Nice cars in their day, but...
Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2004-04-17 03:02:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Eh.
Submitted by deserteaglekiller at 2004-04-17 00:18:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
next time try listening to Poets Of the Fall you won't trash your car
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2004-04-17 00:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, I'm glad you weren't killed! Yeah, listening to punk rock while driving is an exercise in restraint, especially if you: a.) drive in L.A., and b.) drive a muscle car with a hair-trigger accelerator. Punk works better than coffee!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-04-16 22:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This reminds me of something. It seems like I heard of a list of the top songs that are likely to cause an accident. I'd google it, but lazy.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2004-04-16 21:53:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for surviving your own silliness.
+2 more for Itchy and gorilla biscuits
(I saw them live for the first time when I was 15 in the Safari Club in DC)
-Turtle
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-16 21:47:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you like Swedish hardcore punk, you should check out "Refused".
They no longer exist, and may offend if you have are adamantly anti-communist (not that you can really hear exactly what they lyrics are anyways...), but they're amazing.
Submitted by shadylady (user info) at 2004-04-16 21:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
Harry Conick Jr.Sucks
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-04-16 21:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-04-16 19:31:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH!!!!!!!
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-16 19:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jimbo is my hero
Submitted by Jays567 (user info) at 2004-04-16 18:51:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not about to ruin this wonderful streak of +2's.
Can I have your CD player?
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-04-16 18:44:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best post today, well done.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-04-16 17:01:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My name is Bargled, and I approve this post.
Submitted by TheMilkman (user info) at 2004-04-16 15:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And you were complaining about the Tercel?
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-16 15:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Solid +2. Kicker of all that is ass.
Submitted by BonesForBucks (user info) at 2004-04-16 15:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for your sorrows, but at least they happened in a kick ass way, with theme music.
Punk-o-rama 8, huh? I'll have to get it. I only have 6 and, wait a sec I have 8 too!
Hurray for you!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-04-16 14:41:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm really glad we competed in Ubermadness because it helped me "discover" you. Now I always click on your posts and they always make me laugh.
Submitted by Hader (user info) at 2004-04-16 14:04:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have another +2 b/c itchy mentioned Gorilla Biscuits, one of my favorite bands.
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2004-04-16 14:00:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I get that way when I listen to the Natural Born Killers soundtrack.
Go figure.
--HeimdallsMan
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-16 13:51:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How the fuck did you lose in the Ubermadness!?!
Anyway the 3000gt is a fucking fat ride. The body styling is hot too. That is all.
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-04-16 13:50:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And another +2 because I went back and listened to it. Reminded me of Gorilla Biscuits +2 +2 +2
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-04-16 13:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell Yeah! One of the best compilation CD's I have ever burned was a little gem I titled "Drive Angry." Hell hath no furry like someone blasting loud and angry music in their large and powerful SUV. Get out the way bitches!
Similarly, my wife has confiscated that CD. Damn it.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-04-16 13:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I listened to that song. Then I went down the street to the pet store and broke the feet of every bunny they had for sale.
Submitted by speeddaimon (user info) at 2004-04-16 13:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good times, this time, get a lower heavier car.
Like a 3000GT.
I love that car. I humped its tailpipes once, probably should have waited for them to cool off.
Stupid skin grafts
Submitted by Hader (user info) at 2004-04-16 13:34:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Punk O Rama, I've got all of 'em. Sorry 'bout your pimp ride Escort. You should tell your wife that Harry Connick Jr. will put you to sleep behind the wheel, not a good thing.
Submitted by McMuffin (user info) at 2004-04-16 13:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Somebody needs an industrial sized tub of chill pills.
Submitted by SausageKing (user info) at 2004-04-16 13:27:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment