The untimely boner (1477 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 0.95 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by They_call_me_the_Fireman (View user info) at 2004-04-20 05:05:46 EDT
We dropped a call right before my shift ended (06:50) causing me to get off late. I called the wife and told her I would just meet her and the kids at church (she was used to this happening when my rotation involved shifting on Sat). I didn't have enough time to go home and change so I just went in my uniform.
I got there just before the service began and joined my wife and kids sitting in the front row. Service began like normal, -opening prayer followed by everyone greeting each other, then we sit. Thank goodness too. I was exhausted. The Pastor went on w/ the sermon and there was the usual Sit, Kneel, Stand thing happening. Then we get to the long winded homily at which everyone gets to sit and listen to the Pastor speak.
Appearently I was a bit more tired this Sunday and dozed off during the aforementioned homily. I don't recall dreaming, but was rudely awaken by the firm elbow to the ribs by the wife. I was a bit startled (not to mention dazed and confused) by this that I stood up thinking it was time to stand.
I am not sure which was more embarrassing,
a) Me being the only one standing in the middle of the Pastor's homily
or
b) Noticing after standing in front of God and the entire congregation(in my uniform mind you), that my hose was fully charged....
I think I might have to change religions now.....
User Reviews
Submitted by Dazd1 (user info) at 2004-04-20 13:12:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA Thats funny!
Have you ever noticed how many hot women their are at church though. Its tough not getting one while your awake.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-04-20 13:08:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Meh
I don't believe it; that's 2 days in a row that I've had an idea for what to post on Uber, and then a post with a title that ressembles my post.
Submitted by SammySam (user info) at 2004-04-20 12:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Make that 75% of your posts.
And what kind of person doesn't know when they have a boner?
I know when I get one it can hardly fit in my uniform pants, and I can feel it throb trying to break free.
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2004-04-20 12:35:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
‹(•¿•)› <=====Hindu
Submitted by TripinDayZ420 (user info) at 2004-04-20 11:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think we've all been there at one time or another bro.
Submitted by doubleC (user info) at 2004-04-20 11:24:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
HA!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-04-20 11:16:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-04-20 11:05:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hahaha!
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-20 10:54:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Firemen and their silly penises....
Submitted by PopCorn80 (user info) at 2004-04-20 10:41:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
mmmmm boners.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-04-20 10:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha... you weren't the only one standing up... your Johnny was standing proud with you!
Submitted by Milkman (user info) at 2004-04-20 09:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
getting a boner in church rocks
Submitted by woplover (user info) at 2004-04-20 09:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoops. I'm glad I don't have a penis.
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-04-20 09:17:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-04-20 09:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
‹(•¿•)› haha
Submitted by Sumpy (user info) at 2004-04-20 07:48:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats a horrible thing to happen
Submitted by kakhuis (user info) at 2004-04-20 07:18:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
its not shit its fuct up "just like ass kissing muslems
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-04-20 07:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
this is a bit shite
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-04-20 07:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hose+Fully charged=funny as hell
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2004-04-20 05:41:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice
Submitted by kakhuis (user info) at 2004-04-20 05:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
maybe you should be come a muslam" there was the usual Sit, Kneel, Stand thing happening"
Submitted by JBOMB (user info) at 2004-04-20 05:12:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When you are drowsy and needing to piss, that is when the pants' tent strikes.