Sex In A Bathroom (6930 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.05 on 91 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ainkara<polgara_187.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-04-22 11:43:10 EDT
Note: names have been changed in the vain hope that that will somehow help to keep this story from falling into the wrong hands.
************************************************
You see, I have this friend. Uhh.... John. I've known good ol John since about year 10. That would be when I was 15 for all of you non West Aussie people out there. He's been out with a few of my friends, split up at least one friendship, the normal sort of things.
I bet you're thinking this story is going to be all about how I finally overcome my shy and studious side, to rise to the top, getting the guy, and eventually nailing him in a bathroom right? Well, no.
You see, John was, for some unknown reason, the guy I always wanted to get with when I was drunk. I always appologised profusely in the morning. Believe me, it wasn't fun. I don't think I'm very subtle when I've had a few.
Anyway, this doesn't really have much to do with this story, except to introduce John, so you know who he is, and to tell you that in year 12(turning 17), we were still friends. Our group was pretty tight in year 12, due to the fact that most of us had known each other for quite a while. So when John said that his younger brother, Jack, would be coming to our school soon, we were quite happy about it. We figured that we got along with John, so we were bound to get along with Jack.
Ok, backround on Jack now. For whatever reason, he didn't go to the same school as his brother. I think it had something to do their parents being split up and them each living with a different parent. Anyway, The reason he wanted to start going to our school, was because he had apparently slept with these two girls, one had a boyfriend, one had a big and angry older brother. Both wanted to kick his ass. Or something along those lines, I forget. I later found out that only one of these was true.
Dammit, I keep getting off track. Stop me next time.
So he came to our school, with our little group quite aware of what a little man slut he was. I have to admit, I laughed about that. He came in... late May I think (for all of you not aware, our school year runs from February to December). He's two years younger than his brother, so that makes him in year 10, 15 years of age. He has blonde hair (really nice blonde hair I might add....mmm...) and blue eyes...(again, mmm....)His smile is gorgeous, and for some reason he took to blowing in my ear....
Is it getting hot in here?
Oh right the story... *clears throat* I'm getting ahead of myself here...
So John and Jack were catching the same bus as me, because of where we lived and... well you get the picture. Jack and me got along surprisingly well, better than me and his brother ever did. We got into this habit of snuggling on the bus, and as I mentioned above, he got into this habit of blowing in my ear. We listened to music a lot, and talked a lot, and basically just got to know each other.
He didn't actually go to our school for very long, but in the time he was there, he got to be one of my closest friends. I told him things that it had taken me forever to tell my best friend. He was just one of those people that you know you can talk to. That you know you can trust. Or maybe it was just easier to tell him things because he wasn't the first one to hear it all. In any case, we got rather close in a relatively short amount of time.
After he left our school, I didn't know when the next time I'd see him would be. It turned out being rather handy that his brother was renting a house with 2 other people that seemed to be a great party house. Ok, so I didn't see him for at least a few months after he had left, but oh well. We were still close when we saw each other again.
First party I saw him at, it was really good. There was this girl there that for some unknown reason has this major vendetta against me. Jack stood up for me. We ended up in the spare room of the house. All we did was hug all night, and it was really nice. Ok, he did that ear thing... But there were six other people in the room, so that may have cooled his jets somewhat. (By the way, 3 of those people snored. I got no sleep that night.)
The next time I saw him, we didn't really speak much the whole night. He spent a lot of time with another of my friends... Jasons... little sister. Jason actually talked to me that night, and told asked me to make sure that they didn't sleep together. He said he didn't mind if his sister fooled around with me, but under no circumstances was she to fool around with Jack. I found that kinda cute...
Now for some reason at this point, there was a mattress in the bathroom. I honestly can't remember why. So after watching the South Park movie (instead of porn, thank whatever gods are in existence. You have no idea the frequency of porn that was at those parties...) We ended up heading to said bathroom. I'm thinking Jason's little sis kinda knew what was going on... Since we had planned to spend the night in the same room as her.
I'll spare you all the details (and I can hear the geeks screaming now, wanting their dose of written half porn... Just go look at JMG's story. That's porn enough for you.) But, yes I did end up having sex in a bathroom. With John's little brother. With John's underage little brother. (under 16 is underage in Australia) Who may have been slightly drunk. Except replace 'may have been' with 'was quite deffinately', and 'slightly' with 'insanely'.
I raped a little blonde boy. In a bathroom. On a very uncomfortable mattress. Let me tell you, never try to squeeze a double mattress into a small bathroom. Not fun for the people who have to sleep on it.
Thankfully, John still doesn't know. At least, I don't think he does. He asked me about it down on leavers, but he got the wrong day, so I had no qualms telling him that nothing happened. Of course when I got back, I found out that other people somehow found out. So to this day, I'm still not entirely sure what he does and does not know. I can only hope that he doesn't secretly visit this site. Or if he does, this story does not happen to interest him in any way.
There you have it. My story. I hope you have all enjoyed it, because if I get caught, I'm taking you all with me. Somehow.
All I can do now is get down on my knees (mind out of the gutter poeple) and pray to the Uber Gods (well.... bart anyway) that Uber shall forever remain my sanctuary.
User Reviews
Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2004-05-29 10:24:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-05-29 10:09:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Get it pimp! :)
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-04-26 07:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2004-04-26 04:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-04-25 22:15:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The pic reminded me of the movie " The people under the stairs".
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-04-25 00:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-24 11:55:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sidey, he was smiling for the camera. Just not very well because he was lying down.
And bus, yes. I am retarded, I know.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-24 03:44:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I see he's making a face that says ''ewww something stinks''.
..and you have your shoes off
Submitted by black killer tugg <fuckingirls.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-04-24 00:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YOUR STORY COULD SUCK MY DICK.
DONT DENIED IT
YOU CAN HAVE A PICK.
HAVE YOUR NEXT GURL LICK MY DICK
YOU DIRTY BITCH.
P.S YOUR STORY NEEDS EDITING...
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-04-24 00:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
He said he didn't mind if his sister fooled around with me, but under no circumstances was she to fool around with Jack. I found that kinda cute...
*********************************************
Sooo...your friend thinks you're a dyke?
Submitted by gbusman (user info) at 2004-04-23 20:52:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait a sec. Did you change the names so people wouldn't know who you are talking about... and then post a picture of yourself?
-Bus
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-04-23 18:34:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That kid looks exactly like a friend of mine, but as far as I know, he has never been to Australia
Submitted by dusty <renegade_19.at.hoymail.com> at 2004-04-23 14:08:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hey good story, if u got msn add me okay i would really like to tlk to u !!!!!!!!!!!!! thanxs dusty
Submitted by JOHNY BOY <JOHNYBOYNY.at.YAHOO.COM> at 2004-04-23 13:58:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WOW WHAT A BORING STORY AND PS WHY ARE GUYS TELLING YOU YOUR GOOD LOOKING IM NOT HATER BUT YOUR LIKE A 5/10 AND A PRUDE
Submitted by catscradle (user info) at 2004-04-23 13:35:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This post is the epitome of 'meh'.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-23 12:01:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Awww, thanks AJ, and Matt, I'll pass along the compliments.
Oh wait, no I won't... because then he'll be curious about who complemented him, and I may have to blow up my computer... and I love my computer...
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-23 11:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Matt was probably referring to the guy in the pic. But you're the hot one, Bec ;)
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-04-23 11:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
in a word.... hot.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-23 10:54:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woo, you too? Sweet. Wait... I really hope I don't know you. Add me on MSN
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2004-04-23 10:48:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Though +2 for having to explain the WA system to everyone else.
Are we the only original ones out there or what?
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2004-04-23 10:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh come on, Midland is part of Perth surely, I live here, so I should know...
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-23 10:35:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha, no, I was huddled in a corner of Midland Gate, muttering to myself about the dark forces, and searching for a pen.
If you have MSN, add me, polgara_187.at.hotmail.com
People may get pissed if we keep talking here... hehehe
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-04-23 10:21:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, I know Midland. I was out there today, actually.
Where you the girl on the Great Eastern holding a sign saying 'Will write for food'?
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-23 10:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh wow, I thought I was alone.
I'm out midland way. Do you know midland? If not, it's about half an hour out of Perth. Or have I said that before?
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-04-23 10:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
West Aussie, yep.... Mandurah, actually, about... I don't know.. an hour away from you.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait, Circe, you're a West Aussie? Or were you just speaking in general...
I thought I was the only WA uberer on here...
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"And for some bizarre reason I think the West Aussie system is different to all other states. Go figure."
--------------
It's so that when we decide to dump the other states and become our own kickass little country, we can do it on the grounds of 'irreconcilable differences.' We have a lot of snaeaky little things like that, for just that reason. Like the sun setting over the ocean. We arranged that. Deliberately.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The question is, seriously, care to give me some money?
Ah screw it, I've been zinged.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:34:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the question is, can you put yuor mouth where my 'money' is?
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
...
For no other post have I wanted to leave it at "No comment", but on my own terms.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:29:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahahaha, I'm sure.
Care to put your money where your mouth is?
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
after im done, you ll be able to fly back on your own
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, fly me on over to Sydney. Any time big boy, any time...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
penis
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ill be more than happy to give you8 a personal demonstration anytime you like
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice....
But forgive me if I can't really picture it. Although...
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:12:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
its not like we were going at it hammer and tongs, it was really crowded, she was taller and we were being VERY surreptious about it. soi much so, i cant think how it could have been enjoyable for her. and we were very drunk.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:09:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Crowded dance floor? Isn't that a bit... icky?
I mean, I've done tent... brick walkway outside someone's house... the bathroom.. aren't they good enough?
Never once on a bed...
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
crowded dance floor
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And where exactly would you say is adventurous? Please, give me tips, oh mighty sex god :P
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-04-23 08:43:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and as for LSMs somewhat hypocritical comment waaaaaay down at the beginning, i refer you to this:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/31023
its okay for some, i see...
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-04-23 08:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
cradlesnatcher!
but bathroom is tame. try somewheres adventurous
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-23 06:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THIS OLD MAN CAME ROLLING HOME!!
AND... DONE.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-23 06:13:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i don't get it either.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-23 06:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
get it?
penis? boner??!?!
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-23 06:12:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh shit... wait..
it IS my penis.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-23 06:12:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it rhymes with penis.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-23 06:11:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wait..yes... it is my third leg...
but it's something else.
wanna guess?
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-23 06:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
not my third leg...
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-23 06:09:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nope, not my OTHER leg.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-23 06:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nope, not my leg.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-23 06:09:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...that's in my pants.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-23 06:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
get it?
boner.
not like chicken bones.
but the bone...
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-23 06:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-23 06:08:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
BON-ER
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-23 06:07:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
with a knick-knack, patty-whack give a dog a bone---er.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-23 06:07:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This old man, he played one
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-23 03:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait, Awko, year 7 is high school for you guys? We start at 8 here.
And it's always been 'year' here, not grade. As far as I know.
So, recap: Where I come from, Western Australia, We start school as pre-schoolers. That's in the year that we are to turn 5.
Primary School takes us from year 1 to year 7 (the year that we turn 6 to the year we turn 12)
High School goes from year 8 to year 12 (year we turn 13 to the year we turn 17)
We don't have the same system as you guys do in the states, we don't say freshman and sophomore and junior and senior. It's just the number.
And for some bizarre reason I think the West Aussie system is different to all other states. Go figure.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-04-23 03:46:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
-1 point for bouncing all over the place while telling the story.
You are a bad, bad girl. Go to my room!
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2004-04-23 01:18:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-04-22 17:14:08 (#)
Ranking: 1
No Ainkara, I meant this:
"I've known good ol John since about year 10. That would be when I was 15 for all of you non West Aussie people out there."
What do you mean by year 10? Is that some Aussie l33t thing I don't know about?
I wanna be l33t....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Year 10 is our 11th year of schooling here in the land of Oz.
We start off being Preps at primary school then are there for 7 years or however long it took to pass grade 6.
Then for some reason at high school grades become years, eg-year 7, year 10, year 12.
Year 12 is our final year
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-04-22 21:24:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
all vulgarities aside, i'd like to do naughty things to you, ainkara
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-04-22 17:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Disjointed, but entertaining.
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-04-22 17:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Ainkara, I meant this:
"I've known good ol John since about year 10. That would be when I was 15 for all of you non West Aussie people out there."
What do you mean by year 10? Is that some Aussie l33t thing I don't know about?
I wanna be l33t....
Submitted by KoolWang (user info) at 2004-04-22 15:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AJ tried to fuck Captain Foamy in an Exxon bathroom. Foamy put that bitch down.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-22 15:39:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-22 11:49:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
did he do you in the pooper in the pooper.
sorry. couldn't resist.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAAHHAHA!
Oh, sweet lawdy Jebus that was funny.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-04-22 14:54:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Er...it's not terrible, and had potential to be good, but the whole off track thing, yea, its not working. There is this wondrous thing, its called editing.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-22 14:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Steve, hunny, I changed the names. I did it to protect you. I love you baby!!
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-04-22 14:11:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm hurt. This title should say "Sex in a Bathroom with Stevie!"
Whatever Bec, we're done.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-04-22 13:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-04-22 12:50:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
All I can do now is get down on my knees (mind out of the gutter poeple) and pray to the Uber Gods (well.... bart anyway) that Uber shall forever remain my sanctuary.
-----
You are now doomed. This John cat will definitely discover your post.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-22 12:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, give him a break. He was lying down. Between my legs. Getting his hair played with.
Hehe, I ended up dripping hot wax on his nipple at leavers... oh the fun...
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-04-22 12:23:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Is that him smiling?
Does he have a jaw or does he always look so... interesting?
There is no point in mentioning the backgrounds of an act when you won't describe the act itself. That would be like Lord Of the Rings (the book) without the kickass fight scenes.
Pah.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-04-22 12:21:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sex. i remember that.
vaguely.
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2004-04-22 12:18:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, really fucking bad.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-22 12:16:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, the guy in the pic is 'John', not the one I slept with.
And Mario, hunny, if I rang you all the time, my phone bill would be sky high.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-04-22 12:14:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Kid looks like a surfer. What a douchebag.....
Oh *ahem*, sorry. If you needed to sleep with someone, why didn't you just call me up?
Submitted by 2_shit_faced (user info) at 2004-04-22 12:03:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i hope u get caught so i can laugh at ur next story
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-22 12:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Missing what TaK?
He was 15, I was 17... We apparently have younger school ages than pretty much everywhere. Don't know why...
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-22 12:01:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is that you bec?
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-04-22 11:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
make that 50 cents.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-04-22 11:56:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I had a nickel for everytime I was molested in a bathroom I'd be 45 cents richer.
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-04-22 11:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Year 10? Year 12? Turn 17 in year 12? What?!?
What am I missing here? Please explain.
Oh, and nice story, but I prefer your fiction.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-04-22 11:54:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Stop getting off track.
Submitted by randomLinkGuy <rlg.at.random.com> at 2004-04-22 11:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/30963
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2004-04-22 11:50:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Cool.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-04-22 11:49:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You sexy beast. This took me back to my high school days and is def +1 material.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-22 11:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
did he do you in the pooper in the pooper.
sorry. couldn't resist.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-22 11:49:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Very good point Kris...
Where have you been anyway? I haven't seen you for ages. My rock has missed you.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-22 11:48:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck.... i need to get you drunk when you come to the states....
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-04-22 11:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you didn't want this story to interest "John", a man, in any way, you should have named it "Tampons vs Maxi Pads."
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-04-22 11:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who cares?