How do you dispose of 100 gallons of jello...or when feminazi's strike, strike back. (1899 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.62 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by David Jones <davjones.at.iastate.edu> (View user info) at 2004-04-22 20:13:36 EDT
My fraternity was supposed to have a fund raising event today. It was to be an event with a live band, food, and the main event, jello wrestling. Oh yes, jello wresting can bring you quite the crowd on a college campus, with 30 or so sorority girls already committed to wrestling, and with anyone attending being able to call anyone else out, it was to be a grand time.
It was all ready to go, Hy-Vee donated enough jello mix to make 100 gallons or so, Wal-Mart donated a wading pool to us, and Sam's Club donated food. We put in the man hours required to make 100 gallons of jello, and we passed out fliers to draw a crowd. 5 dollars for entry, eat whatever, enjoy the band, and watch the fun, or hey even wrestle yourself. Great plan to raise money for Push America, would you not agree? We figured to raise 1000 dollars, easily.
Yesterday, IFC, the Intra Fraternal Council, received complaints from a sorority that this event was sexist, and simply could not happen. We were forced to cancel this event, and even go sorority to sorority apologizing for dreaming of raising money for our philanthropy. I mean, how dare we raise money for Push America, one of the nation's largest funds to help physically and mentally challenged children?
As we went house to house we could not help but notice how horrified the girls were this event was cancelled. House after house of girls were all but throwing fits, they really wanted to go to this and have it out with their sorority sisters. We were confused to say the least. The last sorority we went to was Kappa Delta. Unlike the other houses, the Kappa Delta girls were quite happy, and offered us a very cold shoulder, immediately telling us to leave the house after we made our formal apology.
What the KD's didn't seem to notice however, was that we weren't allow to have this event as a fundraiser, we are still quite able to do it, and are in fact having it this weekend. So, instead of having a controlled, fund raiser for disadvantaged children, we now have a much more fun event only involving people we want to be there, and we can even drink now. Good job KD's you managed to not only make the event more fun for us, but also the alcohol driven environment will surely lead to even more objectification of women then the fund raiser ever could. The real losers here are the children who would benefit from a 1000 dollar donation.
The only problem we were previously having was how to dispose of 100 gallons of wrestled in jello. I mean, this is a serious amount of jello, you can't exactly put this much down the garbage disposal, and I am quite sure it would fill our trash bin up much too fast to do things that way; not to mention it would melt in our recent warm weather.
How do you dispose of 100 gallons of jello? Attached is a picture of the Kappa Delta front yard.
Use your imagination.
User Reviews
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-04-23 09:45:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
FUCK KD.
I dated a KD slut for 2 fucking years and that bitch did nothing but ruin my fucking credit. Oh wait, she was a decent lay too...
Submitted by MrB (user info) at 2004-04-23 02:44:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice house.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-04-23 00:57:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
update:
Dear Uber,
I must sorrowfully inform you that our house president has seen fit to demand that we throw the jello away. Just 2 hours ago he decided that we could not still have our jello festivities, due to the requests of the KD's. He also made it a point to us(the rest of the house) that we could indeed not retaliate to Kappa Delta with jello, because it would most obviously be us, and we would be fined and/or banned from future Greek events.
Even more saddened by this then you are,
David Jones
p.s. The disposal ideas were good, particularly the jello douche. My housemates informed me that we put it in a city dumpster, watch out for a red stream when walking down Knapp.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-04-23 00:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, when I wrote this is was supposed to be Saturday, for sure, but now some of the older guys in the house are debating, I don't really know what it is all about, Saturday seems like a real obvious choice to me.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-23 00:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA! What time is it on Saturday Davy? I know that the girls at ISU may not be the best-looking gals in the state, but Jello looks good on anyone.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-04-23 00:38:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is the event on Saturday?
Submitted by okiwilltellyou (user info) at 2004-04-23 00:25:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, women should be allowed to do what they want to--damn feminists.
I think I have something.....let the jell-o liquify and put it into empty douche bottles, have them sent to the nay sayers as a free trial offer on a new douche--and let them enjoy their yeast infections....he he he
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-04-23 00:19:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Squirel, you are already invited hun, read my first review. Bart, as to getting here, well, take I-80 to Des Moines hop on I-35 N headed towards Minneapolis, get off on the Iowa State exit. This will put you on Elwood, turn left on Lincoln Way, left on Welch Avenue, and straight on up to Pi Kappa Phi.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-04-23 00:12:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about woplover
User id: 7658
Registered on or around: 2004-04-15 22:26:56
# Messages posted: 4
# Reviews written: 86
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 33
# Hits: 570
Average rating of all messages: 0.08
this user registered on the 15th, and automatically -2's me with no comment on both my posts, 5 dollars says its our lovely friend, Miss Schwenk, any takers?
Submitted by Bigandsexy (user info) at 2004-04-22 23:13:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JELLO1!!!1
Submitted by jillybean (user info) at 2004-04-22 23:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As a woman, I apologize on behalf of all women who ruin fun shit. It pisses me off when people get on their high horse and say it's "demoralizing" and whatnot. If they don't want to do it, they don't have to, right? right.
In any case...what to do with the jello? funnel it into empties and leave it on their front lawn arranged in some 'well chosen words', or something... let them deal with it. :)
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-04-22 23:05:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Just dump the jello into a storm drain. It will melt there and wash away.
Submitted by woplover (user info) at 2004-04-22 23:02:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-22 23:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to wrestle in jello.
How can I get an invitation?
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-22 22:56:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Been keeping up with your Vonnegut bud?
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-22 22:51:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-04-22 22:49:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How do I get there?
Submitted by Sacrew (user info) at 2004-04-22 22:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A granfalloon is a false cause.
Feminazism is a granfalloon.
The people demand a follow-up post, preferably with pictures.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-04-22 22:22:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet no one will figure out that it was your fraternity behind the future jello attack on KA.
I'm not discouraging revenge, I'm just recommending an less traceable revenge.
Submitted by Perse <KatiePerse.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-04-22 21:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You better nuke those bitches with 100 lbs. of jello, then report back about it... in detail.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-22 21:05:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with Razor. I don't care how much I have to scroll, you have to post about this.
Submitted by Ih8u (user info) at 2004-04-22 20:59:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great, I will never understand why all should have to change thier
plans because a small minority dissaproves. not to mention I hate
femminazis
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-04-22 20:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I concur.
kicker of all ass.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-22 20:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry I have no advice
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2004-04-22 20:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Get a ladder and pour the used jello down the chimmney. In the warm weather you are having their flue should be closed. The end result would be messy and it will attract insects.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-22 20:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, you must follow this up with photographs of the event in question, and preferably commentary on the better matches.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-22 20:24:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok this post rocks in the following ways:
* Jello wrestling
* College girls wrestling in jello
* Poor retarded kids benefit
* Clearly identified bad guy
* Implication of major retribution
* Jello wrestling
* Everything turns out happy in the end
* Jello wrestling
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-22 20:18:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK!!! I'd so be there if I didn't have to work this weekend.
Submitted by Luckystar (user info) at 2004-04-22 20:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i think you know what you have to do, david.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-04-22 20:14:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My house, Saturday, you are all invited, jello wrestling owns!