Sure, It's a Nice Rivalry, But is it Really Proper to Set a Kid's Hat on Fire? Yes. (959 hits)
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Submitted by Gent (View user info) at 2004-04-23 11:50:18 EDT
Here is what it is like to observe the Red Sox - Yankees rivalry:
I've been going to these games my entire life... a devoted Sox fan who lives only a couple blocks from Fenway Park. Last year I was on the train late at night, on my way home from a bar downtown. About one in the morning, and since the train is near the end of the line, it is almost empty. Almost. Sitting in the corner was a young executive type, business suit, umbrella, briefcase and wearing a Yankees cap. Now I imagine this chap only wore the cap to keep the rain off his head, since outside, it was coming down hard. But what he didn't count on - when he put that cap on - what he didn't count on was the staggeringly drunk - and I'm talking knee-walking here - leering, stocky college student standing a few feet away... staring... just staring at this guy in the Yankees cap.
Suddenly - and this appeared to happen in slow motion, since I'd been watching the scene unfold for a few minutes now - suddenly, as the young exec in the Yankees cap stands to reach for the bell indicating the train to stop, the young, stocky, hammered college student reached up and yanked the emergency stop lever for the train. He and I braced for the impending lurch, as the train's wheels locked up bringing it to an almost instant halt... but the exec was not so lucky, as he was caught off guard and hurtled through the air, umbrella and briefcase scattered throughout the car. But his Yankees cap remained firmly attached to his skull. The drunkard, meanwhile, had pushed open the train doors (in Boston the train runs along the street, above ground) and, before jumping from the train and disappearing in to the night, he turned to the exec, who was lying flat on his back in the middle of the aisle and said, "Dude, the Yankees SUCK." And then he was gone.
Then there was last year... and this story will certainly make you see how much the Yankees suck... last year I was at a game in Fenway, sitting up in the bleachers, yelling at Bernie Williams, drinking beers. A few rows in front of me is a guy in a Yankees hat and a Jeter shirt, and you now, we're throwing peanuts and crackerjacks at him... normal stuff. So we're throwing the peanuts off his head, trying to get them in his drink, and this stiff decides to tell security. Security does nothing, and within a few minutes, we're back to bouncing peanuts off his skull. Again he goes to security, again no response. So this guy - after we restarted the peanut barrage - this guy decides to take matters into his own hands. He stands up, takes the cover off his GIANT soda - you know the size... there are only two places to buy a soda that size, the movies or the ball game, and at both places the soda costs about $9.00... but this guy stands up, takes the cover off his giant soda, and taunts us with it. He yells, "How do you like it," and proceeds to douse us all in Dr. Pepper. The nerve of this guy... comes to our ballpark, cheers against our team, and has the audacity to throw soda on us... typical New Yorker. Needless to say, the security people were not amused and took him out in handcuffs. So yes, the Yankees suck and since our target had been ejected and imprisoned, we decided to throw peanuts at Bernie in centerfield.
Finally - and this is the worst - finally, this year, a week or so ago, I was in Fenway, sitting in the right field grandstand... an area almost as lawless as the bleachers, and a daddy Yankees fan was sitting with his young, child Yankees fan a few rows in front of me. Both wearing Yankees caps and matching Yankees shirts... they were cute... daddy and son, his first game, asking daddy questions and proud daddy answering said baseball queries. But we were drinking a few beers and you know how that is. Daddy and son became substantially less cute as the game progressed - proportional, perhaps, to the beer consumption, which was heroic. So the taunts begin, as usual. "Dude.. the Yankees suck,"... or "Kid, take the hat off, the Yankees SUCK." Clever stuff, you know. Daddy shoots some eyeballs our way but his questioning is met with, "Turn around buddy, you want no part of this." Daddy turns back around until an f-bomb is dropped and Daddy looks back and asks, "Do you mind?"
"I mind," answers a fellow Sox fan, and rips the Yankees hat off the boys head, who reaches up too slowly to retrieve it, his hands finding only uncovered hair. He starts crying and some the fans around start laughing. Sure it was funny, but what was really funny was when the guy pulled out a lighter and proceeded to set the kid's Yankees hat on fire. It went up quickly... it must've been the material... but it really ignited. The fire seemed to energize the crowd, as we all screamed in ritualistic unison. Meanwhile, daddy looked back at us with tears in his eyes, wanting to rip all of our throats out, but knowing there was really nothing he could do.
And here's what gets me about this guy... here's what makes this act so egregious... this daddy just watched as some guy stole his son's hat and burned it as his kid cried. He did nothing. Is that really the way to teach your son to be a man? Now, daddy will forever be a coward in the eye's of his son... a withering coward that refused to stand up for himself. Sure, he would've been beaten to death if he had attempted any retaliation, but death or no death, you should never act like a coward in front of your child.
But what do I expect from a Yankees fans. Their fans, like the team, do, in fact, Suck.
User Reviews
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-10-14 23:42:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Pussies. I would've shat in it.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-10-14 23:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I missed this!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-23 12:23:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by beefstick86 (user info) at 2004-04-28 10:52:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i have a story... if anyone knows about the browns vs steelers rivalry.... well, i was downtown(in cleveland) during a game, and hadnt had the opportunity to watch or listen to the game. when we left the game had ended so we went down to the stadium and asked the first person we saw, a pittsburg fan, what the score was. he told us to fuck off and threw his beer at out car. apparently we won...
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-28 10:45:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thats the response I was waiting for!!!! :)
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-04-28 10:40:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah? Well at least we... oh forget it... fuck you.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-28 10:01:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Yes... 1986. The very last year anyone cared about the Mets. Have fun rooting for .500... the Sox may not win, but at least they'll contend like they do every year. "
You know, in the end, all that matters is that I know what it feels like to root for a former World Series Champ. I remember it. I even remember playing in the world series in 2000. In the modern era of baseball the METS have 2 world series championships....how many you have....whats that [cricket, cricket], oh thats right. Zero. Diddly.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2004-04-23 14:22:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
emt here....last season in the playoffs...i've seen yankee's fans beaten severely
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-04-23 14:10:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://news.bostonherald.com/localRegional/view.bg?articleid=3666
The Boston Herald... where idiots get their news.
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-04-23 14:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes... 1986. The very last year anyone cared about the Mets. Have fun rooting for .500... the Sox may not win, but at least they'll contend like they do every year.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-04-23 14:01:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for the post
-2 because both the Sox and the Yankees suck! You deserve each other.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-23 13:57:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
all i have to say is 1986!!!!
Lets Go Mets!!!!
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-04-23 13:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry Gent I did not pick up on the fact you thought is was wrong. Have a +2.
Submitted by BonesForBucks (user info) at 2004-04-23 13:35:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am a Braves fan. I have been since before they got good. Before Bobby came to coach.
The only thing that matches my happiness with the Braves, is my hatred for the Yankees. Over-rated.
But I love da Red Socks, too. Good team they got. Good team.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-04-23 13:25:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
disturbing and amusing
Submitted by catscradle (user info) at 2004-04-23 13:18:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Rome had Gladiators, America has bloodthirsty sports fans.
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-04-23 13:17:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
People like me give Sox fans a bad name... not because of the way I act, but because I post shit like this.
I went to the Sox-Yanks game last weekend and the crowd was really well behaved.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-04-23 13:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are any fans worse than Philly fans?
I saw something really sad once back when I cared about baseball. I think it was a Braves vs. Philly match up and those used to get quite heated. Something happened, I don't remember exactly what but a woman did something to interfere with the game. It seems like she and a bunch of other people were all clamoring for a foul ball that was not actually a foul ball. People went nuts. She had to be escorted out by security and it didn't seem to matter that she had her two little boys with her. It made me really not want to watch baseball anymore. Here is this poor woman, no man along so who knows, maybe a single mom out with her kids trying to have a good time and then this one little thing that a lot of other people were trying to do too and she is in physical danger. I imagine there were probably a few assholes and then everyone else was swept up in some sort of ridiculous mob frenzy, but it was really shameful. I want to sic my grandmother on all of them to teach them some manners.
I have not been back to Philly sense. Maybe it is unfair to judge a whole city based on that one observation but I don't have any respect for that kind of bullshit.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-23 13:07:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GO CUBS WOOO!
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-04-23 13:02:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And another thing... you'll never hear me say "Yankees suck"... it is ridiculous. This post was trying to make fun of people that do.
I witnessed all these acts, but didn't have anything to do with any of them. And I was in no position to stop them.
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-04-23 13:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Would it help anyone if I said this post was a joke... or based on stories that I know are true, but didn't actually witness?
Not that that is necessarily trure.
And I thought my writing made it clear that these actions were wrong... but maybe not. Fucking lighten up.
Submitted by MaxwellSmart (user info) at 2004-04-23 12:59:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry, but the sarcasm must have gone completely over my head when you mentioned how you were throwing peanuts at a Yankees fan...
So I haven't posted anything on this site yet - big deal. It doesn't mean I never intend to. Feel free to -2 me when I do.
Submitted by lenny (user info) at 2004-04-23 12:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Its well written but sports related violence is a shame on society
Submitted by Helpertin <me.at.fakeemails.com> at 2004-04-23 12:49:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What can 1 man do when surrounded by a bunch of drunken idiots... nothing of course.
The father of the child was the only man in the audience.
Yankees > sox
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-04-23 12:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about MaxwellSmart
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... and you really contribute a lot to this site.
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-04-23 12:41:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Listen shithead:
Do you pick up any sarcasm in this post... that maybe I have the slight feeling that these actions are FAR over the top? Do these stories really make it seem like I condone these actions, are does it seem like I'm just reporting some shit I see and presenting it in a comical manner? Go back to looking at whack-off pictures on the internet... you'll have no difficulty understanding those.
Submitted by MaxwellSmart (user info) at 2004-04-23 12:32:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This makes me sick. Based on what you're saying, the Red Sox fans sound like the most pathetic people in the world. Just because the Yankees have won way more World Series' than the Red Sox doesn't justify petty retaliations like this. Poor Kid. It would have been cool if his Dad had whipped out an AK-47 and blown away all the nearby Red Sox fans, then turned to his son and said: "See son? That's how you be a real man. If anyone is such a pussy that they feel the need to steal your kids hat, blow the mother fucker away."
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-04-23 12:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
to me y'all are all a bunch of yankees
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-23 12:28:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(Someone from Saturday Night Live doing a sox fan): Derek Jeter, you suck in three specific ways: so hard, so bad, and wicked bad. (Pause) Unless you want to come play for the Sox.
Jeter: No.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-04-23 12:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you're a dick
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-04-23 12:11:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't know we were ranking based on morality.
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-04-23 12:08:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Post is well written but Jesus Christ it is just a kids hat. This kid was just wanting to watch a baseball game. You fucks are retarded. Have fun watching the Sox never winning a world series.
CURSE!CURSE!CURSE!CURSE!CURSE!CURSE!CURSE!CURSE!CURSE!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-04-23 12:03:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This confirms my belief that Massachusetts is pure, unadulterated evil and nothing good comes from there.
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2004-04-23 11:55:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome post but next time I'm in Boston I'm going to wear my Yankees cap and gut one of you bastards for that kid.