Spirit drink and sandwiches (747 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.41 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <amanda_trivett.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-04-23 14:52:37 EDT
So things are kind of weird at the moment.
You know how you watch really shit stuff happen to random disaffected teenagers in films and think "well, that can't happen to me, therefore it's funny. Besides, I'm old enough now for things like that not to bother me. I thumb my nose at you, God of crap-stuff-happening-to-people! Ha Haa"
Turns out he was listening.
The assumption I'd harboured that I'd be well into my dotage before my parents ever went solo - and even then only through one or the other snuffing it - collapsed around me like a poorly made flan two weeks ago. Dad walks out on Mum under particulalry unpleasant circumstances.
Ok, I'm a big girl, that I can deal with but the problem is I appear to be dealing with it a little TOO well. I was a big Daddy's girl and I now feel like he's pissed on the Mona Lisa and can never find absolution for this betrayal. I can handle my stupid nineteen year old brother getting a girl pregnant less than a week later and being once again the rock that everyone leans on. I maintain my cheerful exterior; the one who has the answers, the right thing to say, the right way to go about things and the way to diffuse the situation with a well placed sandwich. (A hard thing to do when the family in question live two hundred and fifty miles away. Sandwiches don't travel well)
Shall we place bets now, my fellow uberusers, on the chances of me ending up in some darkened corner tonight grizzling into my pint of 'spirit drink' and pepsi (turns out the good cheapo gut-rot Vodka I bought yesterday can't even be called Vodka. It's making the room spin nicely though) whilst my friends search the toilet cubicles and get 'lost' around the bar? I know it'll end in either that weird philosophical fugue too much pot gives you, or that black fog of self pity 'Vodka' (spirit drink) transports you to.
So why am I drinking? Why am I going out on a Friday night with the intention of drinking until I'm fairly convinced that not only can I dance and sing like Tatu but I could probably kill a bloke twice my size with a single blow - and tell him so? Why do I know it'll end in tears or a midnight raid on the allotments across the street from my house?
Because its fucking Friday night!!!!! What the Fuck else do I do?! Go feet of flames, I am the dancing queen! WOO!
User Reviews
Submitted by hugafriend (user info) at 2007-04-06 13:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by EntityErased (user info) at 2006-04-13 03:35:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"(turns out the good cheapo gut-rot Vodka I bought yesterday can't even be called Vodka. It's making the room spin nicely though)"
Yeah, I got a fith for less than 10 bucks the other day.
Something called Burnett's?
Eh, it was no Absolut, but it did the trick.
+2 for alcohol.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-13 03:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
uberc1ndy.at.gmail.com
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-10-13 04:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-10-13 03:44:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-09-19 09:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am the dancing queen! WOO!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I bet you are too!
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-28 07:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am the dancing queen! WOO!""
Sums it up nicely.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-01-12 04:30:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this post is absolutely awesome.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-11-25 11:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-04-23 15:16:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
have fun!
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-04-23 15:06:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
kill your family and drink their blood.
blood - the only REAL spirit drink.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2004-04-23 15:04:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well that's a shame, because everything after the fat girl porn bit my post was FUCKING funny. Meh. You lose
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-04-23 14:56:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
im sorry... i stopped reading at "im a big girl"
after that, for some reason, i kept picturing fat bitch porn
-2 for fat bitch porn
+3 cuz my nuts itch
...???