Cheese In 4 Different Places (867 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.9 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Malone (View user info) at 2004-04-25 05:19:41 EDT
Uberists, this is a weekend post, which means it should be devoid of any of my usual content. No, I'm not talking about incoherant bullshit, I'm speaking of my consistant running commentaries on life's deep and powerful meanings about anything and everything important. With that out of the way, turn off your brain, and fire up a juicy spliff as I shall begin to tell you all about the cheese.
Shopping at Meijer, my favorite 24 superstore everything under one roof bonanza!, I was looking for a few simple things. I will clue you in on two of them; Mexican cheeses, and one(1) badass cooler.
This evening began in the grocery section of Meijer, looking for among other things, my Mexican cheese mix in a bag. You know the shit that's good for nachos and what not. What I wasn't prepared for (in my slightly altered state) was to put myself through a mindfuck in the dairy aisle. Meijer is so awesome for having an entire cheese section. However the cheese section did not have my crappy cheese in a bag. This was the first place that Meijer keeps cheese. They also keep cheese in a few other places, all of which seem randomly chosen via a lottery held by the greeters. A small sample of other cheeses was found near the lunch meat. Across the way and down a few more aisles is another section of a few chesses tucked in between the mad lobster party taking place in the tank (which to them must seem more like some fucked out lobster hell prison) and the breads/bakery. Why the seafood and bread sections are married in this store is beyond me. Maybe fish sandwiches and crab bagles are all the rage now and I just don't know it?
After about another half of my life passed, I was directed across the entire fucking grocery section by an stockboy where I found the cheese I was looking for. So, thanks for nothing Meijer! Morons. You miserable douches. It was an exercise in pointlessness tonight.
However all was not lost as I found the badass cooler I was sent for. I picked up a Coleman. Yes, this motherfucker is a beauty. 50 count 'em 50 fucking quart capacity! That means it will stomp your coolers ass. This cooler from Detroit is so badass it will eat your cooler and piss it out(if it could). Oh yeah bitches and it's got wheels so I can pack it full of bologna and beer and kick ass with it anywhere! I never had bologna and beer though.
But I know it would kick ass.
(look at this fucking thing! look at all the goodness I can take with me now)
User Reviews
Submitted by Eric_Rice (user info) at 2004-10-17 14:55:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Trishtopher (user info) at 2004-04-25 18:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Behold...The Power of Cheese.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-04-25 15:25:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm gonna meet Malone someday.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-25 15:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and Malone:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/25012#499229
There's your praise. Lap it up you filthy stain on society.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-25 15:07:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hatman's reply had me rolling.
Submitted by HatMan (user info) at 2004-04-25 13:45:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
At first I thought your post was pointless, but I was wrong. It had direction, it had power, and most of all - it had cheese. +2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-04-25 12:38:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I asked you what was mexican cheese. Not a justification about your post. You do whatever the fuck you please buddy.
Have a good Sunday while I'm here monitoring inter-bank transactions. Spicy eh ?
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-04-25 12:08:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mexican cheese is one of those bags that has shredded moneterey jack, meunster, colby, and such. I felt it was the perfect material for a weekend quality post. I'm tired of nothing but negatives up on the page during the weekend. I thought a quality post about nothing important, like cheese and terrible store layouts, would spice life up around here. I just hope this post isn't too spicy, and you get gas.
Malone
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-25 12:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You sound like enraged baboon sometimes.
In a good way that is.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-04-25 10:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What the hell is mexican cheese ?
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2004-04-25 09:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh, it wasn't great, but wasn't bad, and far be it from me to wreck a perfect +2 rating...
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2004-04-25 06:27:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-25 05:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A post about cheese?
Hitwhore.