Raped by a Donkey: The Limits of Friendship (8640 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.8 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SausageKing (View user info) at 2004-04-26 12:35:22 EDT
Most of you out there in internet land have likely already seen the video of the fat Mexican man being raped by a donkey. To those few of you deprived souls who haven't, please click on the link below and thank me for introducing to you to one of the greatest historic moments ever caught on video:
*Not super safe for work (male ass, donkey dink), but not too bad either. The donkey only really gets the guy at the end.*
http://grab.orsm.net/cgi-bin/schlabo/dl.pl?/priceless/hornydonkey---mpg
http://www.kontraband.com/html/movies/movies.asp?ID=129
To me, the donkey rape video ranks right up there with the moon landing and the fall of the Berlin wall as a unique pinnacle event that define the place and time of a generation.
A man is caught on video being sexually assaulted by a donkey.
Think about that for a moment and let it sink in. I don't know about you, but for me it is something so beautiful and profound that it leaves me almost speechless. It affects me in a way that I have never been before, and on so many different levels. If there is one time and place in history that I could witness, I would chose to be at that grassy field where that fat man was raped by that donkey. It would make my heart sing out in joy.
Any ways, you get the point. I love the rapist donkey, and the video speaks so eloquently for itself my puny words just cannot do it justice.
Please indulge me though in some of deeper analysis in the ultimate ramifications of the donkey rape and how they pertain to the human condition. Some interesting thoughts came to me the other day as I mused about the donkey rape my library smoking chair. Listen to the fat guy's friends. Hear that? They are laughing their balls off. And with good reason - their friend is being raped by a donkey. Normally rape is not a laughing matter, but I think just about anyone on earth though would make an exception for this.
However, put yourself into Senor fat man's shoes for a moment. You are in imminent danger of having your anus forcefully penetrated by the enormous penis of a sex-crazed, rampaging quadruped. To senor fat man this is not funny, it is deadly serious. He is about to have is anal virginity ripped from his ass. And what are his friends doing? Are they trying to rescue him? No. They are filming the rape and laughing at his misfortune.
But honestly, can you blame them?
Now, if merely an acquaintance or an ok pal of mine was being raped by a donkey (or most other kinds of animals), there is absolutely no doubt in my mind what I would do: I would film the violation and laugh my ass off, exactly like the guys in the video. The footage would be worth more to me than the torn rectum of that individual and any lost friendship that would likely result.
But this got me thinking about the same situation with my best friend Corry. I have been friends with him for over 15 years, more half our lives now, since we were little pukes in the 8th grade. I was the best man at his wedding, went on a two week road trip through the USA and I drink beer with him almost every weekend. If Corry was being raped by a donkey, what would I do? Would I try and ward off the horny rapist, or would I laugh and film the poor bugger's misfortune?
Let's do a detailed analysis to help me in the decision on how to deal with the likely event that a donkey attempts to rape my best friend, shall we:
OPTION 1 - JUMP IN AND SAVE MY BEST FRIEND FROM A SAVAGE DONKEY RAPE
*PROS*
- It is what best friends are suppose to do: help each other out in times of need; save each other from raping; etc
- Our friendship would become stronger than ever
- I would save him from the shame, humiliation and torn anus that comes with donkey rape
*CONS*
- I would lose out on the pure gold donkey rape video footage
OPTION 2 - ALLOW MY BEST FRIEND TO BE BRUTALLY RAPED BY A DONKEY AND FILM IT
*PROS*
- I would have one of the most profound experiences ever to occur in human history caught on film for future generations to enjoy
*CONS*
- My best friend may not ever forgive me, and our friendship could be in serious jeopardy
- Even if he did forgive me, any time we joked about sex there would be the unspoken tension of the donkey rape forever between us
It is a tough call. A very tough call indeed.
To help me make the decision I asked Corry over a couple of beers what HE would do if the situation was reversed and I was being raped by the donkey. Sure, it was passing the buck, but I just could not make the decisions; it was just too close to call.
So, would he save me, or would he laugh and film me being violated?
Without hesitation he answered my question thusly: "Oh dude, I would let that donkey pound your ass until you squealed for the sweet release of death. Then I'd send it to Americas funniest home videos."
Well needless to say that made the decision very easy for me. Rape away you sweet rapist donkey, rape away.
User Reviews
Submitted by craptastic (user info) at 2004-05-25 21:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wouldn't be able to stop laughing long enough to help a friend
Submitted by senor fatass <donkey.at.myass.com> at 2004-04-30 04:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn that donkey dick is one sweet peice of ass
nice work senor
Submitted by Sacrew (user info) at 2004-04-27 01:12:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Goddamn it, the links don't work!
PLEASE, someone, post another link, for I feel as if I am incomplete without having seen this alleged masterpiece.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-04-27 01:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SausageKing (user info) at 2004-04-26 19:36:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-04-26 14:16:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! Nice, but I'm still waiting for part 2 from your last post
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Thanks, I'm glad you liked that one! Part 2 will be later this week.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-04-26 14:25:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The only reason I EVER posted at this site to begin with, was because a post that made rape a joke pissed me off. So I replied with a vengence, stating that under no circumstances is rape funny.
I now stand corrected. You have found the exception.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-04-26 14:16:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! Nice, but I'm still waiting for part 2 from your last post
Submitted by arcane (user info) at 2004-04-26 14:09:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The the kennedy assasination of the last generation when our children ask us where we were when we saw that film we will remember.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-04-26 13:02:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravo for asking the truly important questions
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-26 12:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hm. Interesting analysis.
Submitted by facts (user info) at 2004-04-26 12:43:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hilarious
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-04-26 12:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Note to self: Avoid donkeys whilst in Sausage King's presence.