Movies that changed my life : Cool Runnings (889 hits)
Category: Movies & TVRating: 1.4 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Ultimate Male (View user info) at 2004-04-26 15:21:40 EDT
In 1993, the wonderful people over at Disney decided to give us the gift of Cool Runnings. Cool Runnings is the story of four Jamaican's who form the first ever Jamaican bobsled team. Cool Runnings is of great significance because of it's superior acting and storylines. The team is acted out by three unknowns and Doug E. Doug, who is the second coolest black guy (First being Flavor Flav) in all of history.
John Candy happens to make an appearance in this movie as the coach. This is poor casting because it's hard to believe that he could ever fit in one of those sleds. Candy is so large in this movie it appears as if they have fed him a sled and he is walking around with it lodged in his massive belly. John Candy is now dead and was buried in a Steinway Piano Box. Back to the movie, at first no one wants the team to try because they think they'll fail, but they try anyway and qualify for the Olympics.
This is where the shit really hits the fan. Candy's character screws the team over by buying this beater sled that is falling apart, despite a fresh coat of paint and fancy uniforms, the sled is still shit. Just when it looks like the team is bound for glory, their sled falls apart looney tunes style on the ramp and they get their shit rearranged all the way down this ice halfpipe. When they get up, they carried their ruined sled across the finish line and everyone is happy for them.
All in all, this movie changed my life because it made me realize the following :
Doug E. Doug should have a lucky egg he kisses in all movies.
Kid and Play should have somehow been on the team.
John Candy is fat.
Disney should not make live action movies.
Jamaican people do nothing except have go kart races all day, they never work.
Every part of Jamaica is on the beach, there is no inland.
All black people can play any sport they want.
Tomorrow, the next in the series of movies that changed my life, The Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon, starring Tony Danza.
User Reviews
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-04-26 19:58:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember that ice-box scene, hehe....
Submitted by Thunderlips (user info) at 2004-04-26 17:32:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Feel the rhythm!
Feel the rhyme!
Get on up!
It's bobsled time!
COOL RUNNINGS!!!111oneoneone
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-04-26 17:22:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ya mon
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-26 16:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Rocky on ice if rocky was a fucking fairy.
Submitted by Jays567 (user info) at 2004-04-26 16:23:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-04-26 16:12:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The original bobsled is hanging up at a bar in my city
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-04-26 15:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Every part of Jamaica is on the beach, there is no inland. "
Brilliant!
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-26 15:30:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lois: Im thinking of a movie.
Chris: Is it a comedy?
Lois: Kinda.
Meg: A drama?
Lois: Not really.
Peter: Was it good?
Lois: It had its moments.
Peter: Cool Runnings.
Submitted by Thunderlips (user info) at 2004-04-26 15:28:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Candy was awesome.
But fat.
Submitted by Thunderlips (user info) at 2004-04-26 15:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Far left.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-04-26 15:27:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
John Candy was cool.
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2004-04-26 15:27:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Which one is Doug E. Doug?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-04-26 15:24:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
heh heh heh