Three Men and a Binge Drinking Session (578 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.14 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Trout (View user info) at 2004-04-26 16:44:38 EDT
We were 18.
My friends parents were on holiday.
There was only one thing for it..........party.
Well no, only dumbass little teen fuckwits actually do that.
The sensible drinkers out there have an intimate gathering and dedicate the night to heavy drinking. Unencumbered by the worries of having to impress the opposite sex or clean up other peoples vomit we would become the three drunkenest men in the world and leave the house far tidier than it would be in a party situation, or so we thought.
We bought three cases of stella and hired three videos and settled in for drunken film watching:
Blue Collar
Airplane
Planet of the Apes
We started of watching Blue Collar.
Good stuff. It was then we realised that we had drank 6 drinks each and the film had been on for 20 minutes.
This was a bad omen.
Fast forward to planet of the apes.
The three cases of stella had been drank. We were now on the wine that was in the fridge.
The neighbour had already had the police out to us once as we had refused to calm down our Charlton Heston appreciation society chant:
"CHAZZA CHAZZA CHAZZA. CHAZZA HEZZA, CHAZZA HEZZA, CHAZZA HEZZA. USA USA USA"
Only the drunken excitement of youth could produce such a stupid chant.
It was not long after that the three of us somehow managed to cause about as much damage as an entire house full of people would.
Firstly, James came running into the front room with a lampshade on his head.
Completely obscuring his vision he fell into the coffee table breaking it in two.
In order to get over this shocking turn of events the host decided to get some of his dad's secret malt whiskey stash from the attic.
After we cleared up the debris that he left after falling through the ceiling we got stuck into the whiskey.
This disagreed with me and I vomited into the half eaten tub of ice cream.
In order to hide my shame I replaced the lid, out of sight out of mind.
Whiskey gone we started drinking some sparkling wine we found in the fridge.
Upon opening it the cork flew across the room smashing the family heirloom vase sitting on the mantlepiece.
I passed out shortly afterwards, spilling the contents of the bottle all over the rug.
Waking up to the sound of a record stylus that had been on all night and was now ruined.
Needless to say when the hosts parents turned up the next afternoon they weren't best pleased.
All in all we caused hundreds of pounds worth of damage and left a tub full of vomit in the freezer, which lay undiscovered for quite some time.
We should have just had the party........
User Reviews
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-04-27 16:52:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh heh heh Scotland fucking rules! Yay drunkeness
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2004-04-26 23:19:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Eeeeeeeeeeeehchblechksdjklje...whiskey.
Stick to Tequila.
Submitted by etet72 (user info) at 2004-04-26 17:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-04-26 17:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2004-04-26 17:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, I can't find any entertainment in drunken foolishness.
--HeimdallsMan
Submitted by Thunderlips (user info) at 2004-04-26 17:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You blew it all to hell.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-04-26 16:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Out of sight, out of mind.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-26 16:51:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Guns dont kill people, Apes with Guns kill people.