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My Friends (638 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 0.17 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by Freight Train (View user info) at 2004-04-27 00:35:59 EDT


The say that the best friends in the world are the ones that you grew up with. They always stay loyal, and never betray you. They always take you for what you are and they don't try to change you. The friends that you grew up with are the ones that you can trust.

And let me tell you something, I trust my friends more than I trust myself. See, they never ever let me down. My friends were always there for me. There has not been a single situation in my entire life when my friends could not help. Failed an exam? They will be there to cheer me up. The boss yelled at me for not wearing a stupid fucking tie? No problem, my friends will be there for me. Girl trouble? They will console me and make me feel better.

You say, this cannot be. You must have the most perfect friends in the world. And let me tell you something, nobody is perfect, but they come as close as it gets. There was never such an occasion when my friends talked back at me. They never betrayed me, they never double crossed me, they never ever refused to help me when I was in distress. Believe it or not, you wish you had such good friends as I do.

But I figure nothing is perfect. Turns out my family does not like my friends at all. They don't understand how close we got over the years. We grew up together, we go way back. My girlfriend does not like my friends either. Oh well, I knew she would never understand. She doesn't know jack shit.

My friends come in packs of twenties in shiny carton boxes. Carcinoma can kiss my ass.

marlboro.gif (9 kB)

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User Reviews


Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-11-19 00:43:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

I used to hang out with those guys. I ditched em, though.

They stunk.

Submitted by PizzaEagle (user info) at 2004-05-10 11:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

i hope your friends give you cancer

Submitted by smithode at 2004-04-27 08:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I am a smoker and i think your spot on with what you have written. Great great piece of writing. top marks.

Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-04-27 01:46:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1


I shall create my own brand of cigarettes.
I shall name them 'Cansairos'
I shall create a mascot
I shall name him Timmy The Talking Tumor

Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-04-27 00:49:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

riiiight...

Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-04-27 00:39:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Ahhhh, but ciggies are the ultimate traitor. You'll end up paying thousands and thousands of dollars for yellow teeth and premature wrinkles.

Eh. Your average friend will do all that PLUS stain your favorite shirt. Go for it.

Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-04-27 00:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Smoke this:

....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...



That's weird. It's like something out of that twilighty show about
that zone.

-- Homer Simpson
Treehouse of Horror VI