How To Be THE FUCKING MAN On Ubersite (7323 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 1.62 on 106 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Razor <Jeremy_21117.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-04-29 15:18:56 EDT
Some of you UberUsers may be sitting out there saying to yourselves
"Gee Razor, I put so much time and effort into my thoughts and arguments, do careful research, present a balanced argument, spend all this time wording things very carefully, only to get seven replies and fifty hits. How the hell can I get on that Most Heated list and drive up my hit count? I want a little RECOGNITION damnit! I just want to see my name in lights, my sole burning ambition is to be on the left side of a website inside a little grey box encapsualted for all the world to see!"
I feel for you bud, I really do. Because after all, as we all know, your hit count and the number of replies are the only thing that matters on this site. In fact, recent scientific studies have shown that people with a higher average hit count report increased sexual desire, higher income, and reduced nose hair growth.
Not one of the glorious few? It's your own fault. Making noise and getting heard in a crowd is all about SHOWMANSHIP.
So, without further ado, here is Razor's guide on how to get 3,000 hits and 200 replies to a post.
The Basic Premise:
You Need To Create Controversy
The dummies whose posts get a rating of 1.88 on 12 reviews before slipping off the front page suffer from the following problem:
They make sense.
If you want to create controversy, you have to come across like a total dumbass. If your argument makes sense, people will smile, nod, and move on to the next post. If you say ridiculous nonsense and assert it like you're a genuis who knows everything, they will get mad and respond. Not only that, they'll check back to see if you responded and respond again.
So... how can you create controversy? It's easy! Follow along with me as I lead the way.
#1 Pick a completely asinine premise for your argument
The more ridiculous your argument is, the more people will step up to slap you down. It's important to note that people who read it have to BELIEVE that you're serious, otherwise they'll think it's satire and you'll get ignored.
In addition, the more ridiculous your premise, the more likely you are to tap into that percentage of the Ubersite population that agrees with it. Nothing keeps a fight going like getting someone passionately involved on YOUR side of the argument.
There is NO LIMIT to how ridiculous you can be. A recent example is the guy who's peeved at Americans for making movies about... Americans!
#2 Make really really broad generalizations:
This is great because it drives up your reply count in so many different ways. First of all, people like me who HATE generalizations will always chew you apart. Secondly, everyone of the ethnicity/nationality/sexual preference/religion/gender/etc. that you generalize about will respond in really bitter fashion. People don't write as well when you get them really angry, which segues directly into:
#3 Only pick fights you can win
Let's face it folks, some UberUsers are better at arguing than others. If you totally ignore the people who point out the Huge Gaping Holes (See Point #3) you have left in your argument and/or make a point you cannot deal with, you never have to admit that you're wrong.
If you feel that you MUST respond to them, the best way to do it is to ignore what they're saying completely, take one of their sentences out of context, twist the interpretation, and call them a hypocrite. It will cause them to respond defensively, and BOOM: Advantage you.
What's best is to take a look at the people who you have completely enraged, find the one who you've reduced to the point of babbling incoherency, and focus on them. You can often get a single offended person to respond over twenty times. As you get better, you can juggle many offended people at once, driving them on to the point of utter madness and sending yourself right to the top of the most heated list.
On top of the people who you have enraged, the next person to pick a fight with are the blithering idiots. Even if you make an argument that is so obviously moronic that everyone hates you, there will still be people who can't make the return argument back becaus they're just total muppets. Counter THEIR pathetic attempt at a coherent response and people won't notice as much that you're ignoring the responses by intelligent Uberusers.
Final note: NEVER, EVER, EVER argue with Yidele. Even if you think you can hang with him, the discussion will get so complicated that 98% of UberUsers will give up reading the replies and go away.
#4 Leave huge gaping holes in your argument
I cannot stress this enough. If you make a well put together and thought out argument, people won't have much to say in response besides a quick +2 if they even feel like putting the effort together to click on "Rate This Item" instead of the back button.
Leave holes for people to freak out about. They'll compose really long responses that will inevitably cause others to respond back, and they cycle broadens.
If, while composing your post, you see a counterpoint to a point you're making, STOP. Do NOT just erase what you wrote. Leave it in... someone else will see the counterpoint and fighting about it will only drive up your hit count.
#5 Change the subject
Nothing derails a solid counterattack than bringing up something that has nothing to do with anything that anyone was talking about. When you become a true "artiste", you can make it look like you didn't understand what the other people were saying and ramble off sideways. Alternatively you can start off by responding to them, then get sidetracked and wander into territory that doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
Your opponents will be confused, and they will try to get you to clarify... keep 'em comin' back.
#6 Misspell one out of every twenty words and make egregious grammar mistakes.
This serves two purposes. First of all, you'll get people who write responses like
"Hey idiot. Learn the difference between their, there, and they're."
Which is great... they're just driving you onto the most heated list.
The second purpose of misspellings is that people will think they are dealing with an idiot, and they will think they can just take you to town... little do they know that you're going to ignore them or misconstrue them and keep them coming back. It's the same effect you get by tying a dollar bill to fishing wire and leading people around on the sidewalk... reel 'em in.
#7 Bring religion into it
This will only serve to fan the flames of passion you have already kindled. If you can tell everyone that GOD is on your side... hoo boy... nuclear fallout.
Congrautlations! If you stick to these simple rules, with a little practice you'll not only be a mainstay on the most heated list, but you can knock people like BigMike off the Most Viewed Author's List... I mean, what's that guy ever done anyway besides write really great stories? If you wanted to read a story, you could open a BOOK or something.
User Reviews
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2009-03-27 16:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2005-06-17 22:51:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Hey idiot. Learn the difference between their, there, and they're."
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2009-01-07 19:12:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 12:23:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nominated for best ever
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88541
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2005-06-17 22:51:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Hey idiot. Learn the difference between their, there, and they're."
YES YES YES A REFERENCE TO ONE OF MY POSTS ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/68632 [it was a comment mind you])!!! THIS IS THE KIND OF PUBLICITY THAT GETS YOU FAMOUS! THINGS ARE GOING TO START HAPPENING TO ME!
Anyway, well posted. However I have the feeling your going to cause the spread of hundreds shitty posts (some of mine might be included).
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-17 22:13:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-17 17:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by cheruboo <aaronsebay2002.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-09-05 19:27:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2004-09-05 19:14:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking a
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-09-05 19:04:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Genious!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-09-05 18:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have followed this formula successfully numerous times. How the hell do you think I got on the MVA? My nose hair has become virtually non existent ever since. Here are a few perfect examples of what Razor is getting at here. And he didn't even charge for his services! It really, really works!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43710
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41553
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-09-05 18:14:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
badass
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-08-16 15:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-07-08 10:41:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
You're the fucking man and you didn't even follow your own formula
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And if you sign up now you can get 3 free issues of Sports Illustrated.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-07-08 10:41:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're the fucking man and you didn't even follow your own formula
Submitted by Big Al at 2004-07-08 03:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool! Thanks Razor!
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-07-06 16:04:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well gee whiz!
Submitted by anarki_2k2 (user info) at 2004-05-10 20:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
READ EAT ME, your advice in motion
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-05-08 03:43:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How in the hell do you articulate something "precociously"?
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2004-05-07 12:20:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the man has a very good point here.
though i think the title was a little sexist! hmmph
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32247
Submitted by spamman (user info) at 2004-05-06 22:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I did it, and it worked!!! Come see my work.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32295
It pissed so many ppl off that I was on the most heated list within hours of posting!
Thanks, razor!
Submitted by modusjoe (user info) at 2004-05-05 17:36:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so true
Submitted by Confusion (user info) at 2004-05-04 02:41:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-04-29 21:40:47 (#)
Ranking: 1
Damn my dyslexia to hades.
I thought this was "How to FUCK A MAN on ubersite"
So so disappointed.......
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
H fucking A.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-05-03 16:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've said that before about yidele. he attempts to pass-off his outstanding mastery of the english language as actual knowledge on a certain subject. when he is backed into a corner, he twists the argument into something that is completely unrelated; he tries to create verbal confusion. Bill Clinton was a master at this.
Anyways, while his arguments are usually very clearly and precociously articulated, the ideas are rarely original and quickly abandoned once broken down. Finally, he is left with only personal insults and outlandish claims.
But he does love bagels, doesn't he?
Submitted by stupidwhiteguy (user info) at 2004-05-03 02:31:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, Razor, I got it.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-05-02 20:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good ideas.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-05-02 12:12:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot the most common and easiest way to get on the most heated list:
IM your friends the link of your post, and then start chatting in the post. Not only will you get a ton of replies, you will most likely also get a ton of gratuitious +2s!!!
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-05-02 03:04:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2004-05-02 01:18:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
A cunning guide by an equally cunning wordsmith
--------------------
I prefer the phrase "cunning linguist"
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-05-02 02:08:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot the "post links to your post on fifty other unrelated posts" technique: http://www.ubersite.com/m/31512
Submitted by Trishtopher (user info) at 2004-05-02 01:38:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2004-05-02 01:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am the fucking man on ubersite.
-BongZilla
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2004-05-02 01:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A cunning guide by an equally cunning wordsmith
PS america sucks
Submitted by EvilZurr (user info) at 2004-05-02 01:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
MY TRIUMPHANT RETURN TO UBERSITE:
i didnt care for this post razor. its been done to death.
and now i return to not reading ubersite for a very long time
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-05-01 13:32:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish this didn't make me laugh. As it is, I can't be pissed at you for the headache I have from wading through all the posts inspired by it.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-05-01 13:13:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He shoots, he scores. Good post.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-05-01 12:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Socially_Distorted, the comment about Australians was an overbearing generalization of the type I mentioned.
Submitted by Socially_Distorted (user info) at 2004-05-01 02:29:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:36:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
iddy... please go look up "tounge in cheek"
Fucking Australians...
I'm Australian. Us Aussies might be dick-heads, but at least we're not listed as Intellectual Snobs. That is one thing we are incapeable of being.
Your still the best writer here though. Great Post.
Submitted by spacemonkey (user info) at 2004-05-01 01:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was ok, maybe a 0 or 1 if I was feeling generous, but i gotta go with a +2 for the Princess Bride reference.
Also it's late, and when its late I tend to get really soft with my ratings. Everything kills me right now.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-04-30 21:44:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You have too much free time.
Come mow my lawn.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-30 19:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Boys, boys, boys.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-30 16:33:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OHHHH, loookee there... Lord of the Post just had a baby, which might account for his panicking and error.
Unless I am wrong, and I am never wrong, he is headed directly into the Fire Swamp.
Wait, what was I saying?
Oh right, mac, looks like you were wrong about why he's gone. Maybe you owe ME an apology for an unjust accusation.
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-04-30 16:00:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not Razor Bumps. I don't know who that is or why he has my back. I don't need to log out to talk shit. I figured that would have been crystal clear in my first comment, which was everything I had to say. Anyhow, just wanted to clear that up.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-04-30 15:58:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOTP told me in email that he wasn't going to stop writing Uberia. But his wife had a baby VERY recently! Give him some time, he'll get back to it. I sent him an email, which he didn't answer, which leads me to believe he hasn't been online too much lately anyway.
Sometimes posts get on most heated because of fun stuff, like the caption thing, or what was the #1 song on your birthday, etc.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-30 15:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Amen loki. I'm "smoothly shaven".
ahahahaha
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-04-30 14:59:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yea I figured it out
oh shit now my secret identity is out
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-04-30 14:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
woo hooo look at me
i can log out and talk shit too
oh fuck BAAARRRRT what was my password?
damnit
Submitted by user7430 (user info) at 2004-04-30 14:47:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
true that smoothly shaven
razor is the only reason i stick around here. him and firefly
Thanks for the tips razor!
Submitted by smoothly shaven at 2004-04-30 14:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Even if it were true that Razor has driven two good posters away from Ubersite, how many good posters has he brought to Ubersite?
way more than two, that is for sure.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-30 14:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
as I've said before, Mac, or razor bumps, or whatever you want to call yourself, I apologized to Lord Of the Post both publicly and over email for what I did.
He and I chatted for a bit over email, and as far as I know we're square and my post has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he hasn't been writing on Uber much lately.
If you'd care to name names insofar as other people who have left due to my "high and mighty" posts, by all means name them.
And let's get real here... who's the hypocrite?
Person A: Makes an unjust accusation, then when he realizes it, he publicly apologizes.
Person B: Complains about the unjust accusation, then when the opportunity arises, makes an unjust accusation of his own.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-30 13:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EXTRA EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! GET THE INSIDE SCOOP!
For digging the sand out of Razor Bumps' vagina that is.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-30 13:38:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha i just saw this..
it's so funny i almost popped a boner... shot a nigger (because he was stealing something *OBVIOUSLY*) laughed at the fact there is no god (duh!) stuck a broomstick up a fags asshole (becus he liked it) and then found out men are far supereeor to woman!
Submitted by razor bumps at 2004-04-30 13:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Like I said Razor, get over yourself. I don't really care what your response is. You sit there and talk shit back to Mac, when you did the SAME EXACT THING to LOTP.
I know of at least 2 posters that posted good quality shit on here that don't anymore, thanks to your little "high and mighty" posts and comments.
I like how you managed to write a big nice Fuck You post to a good poster, and for all the shitty posters? Why a nice, whimsically sarcastic post for the shitty post readers. Great job.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2004-04-30 11:36:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It doesnt hurt if you suck a mean dick too...
I have no personal experiance with that at all. None whatsoever. Nope. Not here. Never sucked a dick for a spot on the MVA.
Well ok maybe one, but it wasnt until afterwards at Ubercon...
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-30 09:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
razor bumps, if you want me to respond, log in with your real name.
I don't do the random joe thing.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-30 03:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmmm...
I think a post with this title should have been written BY a man.
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2004-04-30 03:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aha, snowmen, so that's where I've been going wrong.
But I don't want to try to be a hitwhore, I want a positive overall rating, and am closer than ever now
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2004-04-30 01:39:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read it as SNOWMANSHIP, and thought to myself "Hmmmm so my lack of snow men is what has been keeping me down" Then i realized that i have AMPLE snowmen use in my writing and that couldnt possibly be the cause of my failure. Nice try though.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-30 01:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MY N4M3 WAS 0N TAHT LIST W00T!!1!one!1
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-04-30 01:03:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoops.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-04-30 01:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-04-29 16:43:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
What about using another prominent uber user's name in the title? Is that something you recommend?
How about:
"Why Bart, Razor, MickGinny, Loki, that little joo JMG, and for damn sure Poly can all bite my ass"
DIBS!
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-30 00:45:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate you for all the idiots who will take this advice and annoy me.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-04-30 00:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrautlations! If you stick to these simple rules, with a little practice you'll not only be a mainstay on the most heated list, but you can knock people like BigMike off the Most Viewed Author's List...
___________________________________
Um, DUDE lern how to spell CONGRATULATIONS, alriht
har
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-04-29 23:26:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very funny.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-04-29 23:07:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is sooooo funny.
Yea, I'll be going off the list soon. I only write stories and stuff. No controversy here.
Submitted by razor bumps at 2004-04-29 22:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Your puerile attempt at sarcasm was made even more embarrasing by the fact that your entire post, which I never read, has nothing to do with mine."
Razor, what the fuck did LOTP's Uberia saga have to do with your posts? He hadn't read your posts, his had nothing to do with yours either.
If YOU'D had "enough reading comprehension to graduate high school", then you would have seen that as well and not written your FUCK YOU LOTP post.
You sound like a hypocritical ass, which is undoubtedly a contributing factor to the fact that good posts on this site are far and few between nowadays.
You talk shit about the good posters and write insightful "read between the lines" posts for the shitty ones.
Great job. Get over yourself.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-04-29 21:55:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:24:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to print this out and wipe my ass with it. That's how good it is.
Wait, that doesn't make sense. Im going to print AJ's picture and wipe my ass with it.
----------
Be careful. Sideburns may get jealous if you start letting AJ (or even just his picture) near your ass. Oh yeah, I liked the post too, so +2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-29 21:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This IS poetry.
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2004-04-29 21:43:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yidele is the big swinging dick when it comes to debate. The only "newbie" that gave him a run for his money was smokymntcsw. Mess with him at your peril.
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-04-29 21:40:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Damn my dyslexia to hades.
I thought this was "How to FUCK A MAN on ubersite"
So so disappointed.......
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-04-29 21:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
che cazzo stai dicendo?
you know i am THE FUCKING MAN.
but my method is to be all meek cute and vulnerable.
huh?
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-04-29 21:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cwl989 (user info) at 2004-04-29 20:37:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's so funny because it's so true.
I used to write reviews for those things, but luckily, I learned fast under the wise tutelage of Razor-san.
Wax on, wax off.
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-04-29 20:34:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
man......this rang into my ear like Samauri steel being unsheathed............who is Yidele, by the way?
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-04-29 19:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what about us guys with posts with a rating of 1.57 on 9 reviews, or better yet, rated 2 on 2 reviews?
i figured i posted at bad times (which i did), but maybe just nobody cares.
Submitted by lilbill87 (user info) at 2004-04-29 19:17:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well written, +2 for you
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-04-29 17:56:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was the shit.
Submitted by Inigo_Montoya (user info) at 2004-04-29 17:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot-Make a post on how to do something so that the next time somebody wants to make an attention grabbing post, cook their cat or milk the prostate, they have to keep coming back to your post.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2004-04-29 17:33:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Word.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-04-29 17:22:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am new around these parts and even I got almost all the jokes! Either Razor is good at this, or I spend WAY too much time at Uber...
Why can't you fight with Yidel?
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-04-29 17:17:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Listing examples would have made this way better.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-04-29 17:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you also forgot: Be Razor.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-04-29 17:08:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Lacksmotivation (user info) at 2004-04-29 17:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
funny stuff...but i dont see any mention of fags, niggers, or war anywhere. Still solid advice for an up-an-comer like myself. 'preciate it
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2004-04-29 17:00:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All people who hate people who make overly broad generalizations are cynical jews.
What?
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2004-04-29 16:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Classically sad but true...
What a sick sad little world we live in where the intelligent are repressed and the idiotic are revered.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-04-29 16:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What about using another prominent uber user's name in the title? Is that something you recommend?
How about:
"Why Bart, Razor, MickGinny, Loki, that little joo JMG, and for damn sure Poly can all bite my ass"
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-04-29 16:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No. To be that man on Uber you should get yourself a name like 'Gent' and write kickass posts.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-29 16:07:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sand in the vaginas of every damn uber user is what makes this place fun!
And jer, I tend to not get the larger jokes and pick up on the random ones like that one, which for some reason, I got a huge kick out of.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear Mac,
I was wrong to have posted that, and I apologized to Lord of the Post, both privately via email and publicly via the post entitled "Dear Lord of the Post, Part 2"
Your puerile attempt at sarcasm was made even more embarrasing by the fact that your entire post, which I never read, has nothing to do with mine.
If you had enough reading comprehension to graduate high school, you would see that your post was about the most frequent kind of posts put up by dumbasses, while mine was a "read between the lines" commentary on the traps that people on Ubersite fall into on a regular basis when reading posts put up by said dumbasses.
Get the sand out of your vagina.
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/31746
I hope I pass this semester
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like Mac.
I like Razor.
Im staying the fuck off this post.
Buh-Bye!
Submitted by wse_jack (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats some good shit.
Submitted by Goldeneyes (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:44:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
WTF?! I'm not reading all that!
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:43:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear Razor, fuck you.
After your whole bitch fest against LOTP for stealing your ideas, I think it's great that you've posted this, which is basically the same thing as my post-
Hey, you could always be obnoxious. (Rating: 1.5 on 48 reviews, last by Dlove 86 days ago)
Submitted by Mac (View user info) at 2004-01-30 10:18:15
http://www.ubersite.com/m/24425
"But, Mac, I never even read that before" you may be saying. Well tough fucking shit. You had no sympathy for LOTP when he said he hadn't read UberPulp when he wrote Uberia and you still labeled him a plagiarist (which no doubt caused him to quit writing Uberia). For the same reason, I have no sympathy for you and I say that you're a plagiarist. So how bout them apples?
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have fallen for every one of these.
Now to implement them! Mwuh huh ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Mwuh huh ha!
Mwuh huh!
Mwuh huh!
Mwuh huh?
huh . . . eh.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:34:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
"If you totally ignore the people who point out the Huge Gaping Holes (See Point #3)"
HAHA!
----------
I'm really glad someone got the joke that I referenced the wrong point there... I was afraid it was too subtle.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i understand tongue in cheek, dude, but furthermore i was making the point that it should be some sort of requisite to the site to argue with yidele, if you have he patience for that, then youll be able to withstand pages and pages of shitty front-page posts
Submitted by Whiskey_Sour (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
smiling, nodding, and moving on..
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
speaking of which i tried revising my last ubermadness post. i found it really difficult, and i dont think i did too well. please check it out:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/31697
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:36:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
iddy... please go look up "tounge in cheek"
Fucking Australians...
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:35:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't write UberMadness while I'm at work. I need complete quiet to write well, and at work I'm interrupted every nintey seconds by the latest emergency. I wrote this post in two minute spurts over the course of the day.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i disagree with the 'never argue with yidele' bit. i had a big one with him ages ago, and it was some of the most fun ive had on this site ever. i think every new user who plans to stick around should be forced to argue with him.
trial by jew.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:34:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"If you totally ignore the people who point out the Huge Gaping Holes (See Point #3)"
HAHA!
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:32:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
razor please use your time to write a post for ubermadness....not post other shit.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:31:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
#8. Don't post under the category of poetry.
Submitted by vildy (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:30:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NOSE!
Damn im an idiot.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:27:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You could have summed all this up in about 3 sentences.
Blah!
Submitted by partisan (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:27:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a much better instruction manual than "The ethnographic interview", which i'm currently being forced to read for my course (go figure).
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:26:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Its true, my noise hair has really gone down since I made MVA!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a reel of fishing line taped to a dollar bill on my desk right now...left over from April Fools Day.
The post is pretty much accurate, too.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to print this out and wipe my ass with it. That's how good it is.
Wait, that doesn't make sense. Im going to print AJ's picture and wipe my ass with it.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2004-04-29 15:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot: use the word HYMEN.