Best Music Videos Ever: Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Relax (Banned Version) (3761 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicRating: 1.2 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sigue Sigue Jesus (View user info) at 2004-04-30 19:26:41 EDT
I recently downloaded the banned music video for Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Relax from the Kazaa. I don't know how you'd get this particular video played on television, as it was banned and required not one, but two reshoots. Today I will be reviewing the original banned version.
It starts out innocently enough. A man dressed like the leather cop from Village People (we'll call him Leather Man) smokes a cigarette and stares longingly into the night in front of a shady place labelled 'BAR'. Then, a man in a Mickey Mouse hat pulls up and delivers Frankie. The song starts.
Leather Man puts his arm around Frankie and takes him inside (Oh boy! Fresh meat!), then spits in some gloryhole weirdo's face. Frankie starts to sing. A bunch of old leather-clad guys make eyes at him, point flashlights at him, and put a banana in his face. Then, a trumpeteer announces the coming of the king...
The king is just some fat fuck in a litter being serviced by a whole bunch of creeps. His servants begin a liberal application of shaving cream while the king orders an androgenous character into a box to be locked in there. Frankie is confused by these exotic customs and throws his drink in the air. The gay men follow suit, throwing their drinks at Frankie. The king won't stand for this, Frankie must go. They begin furiously manhandling him and carry him away.
Cut to strange characters thrashing around in hay-lined cages without adult supervison. But what about our poor Frankie?
They throw him onto a stage and make him wrestle a fucking tiger. Frankie knows his tigers... this one's under his spell. The king is somewhat impressed. So impressed in fact, he takes off his robe to reveal a leather schlong thong barely covering his miniscule genitals. Wonderful.
Cut to Frankie and Leather Man lying on a spinning platform with water cannons (or urine, whatever) being sprayed on them while they are helpless and bound to their platform prison.
The king likes this. So much, he throws his arms in the air and shouts gives a cheery 'HUAH!' Buck fucking naked, of course.
Orgy time!
Assholes start whipping the king's caged servants, and a female bartender is passed around like currency. I don't know why, what with the setup at the bar, the setup being that everyone is clad in leather and dressed like a Village Person.
And of course, a video of this calibre wouldn't be the same without Frankie mounting Leather Man, and having a gay old time.
In conclusion, it's a good thing it was banned. This would barely fly today, let alone in 1984. It's pure homoerotic pornography and I LOVE IT. Download this video.
Aww yeah.
User Reviews
Submitted by Christ (user info) at 2004-07-28 11:26:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Either work hard or you might as well quit!
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-06-16 02:07:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sounds like an Eminem video.
Submitted by Christ (user info) at 2004-06-11 19:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wwert
Submitted by superdude <superdude.at.fakeemailaddress.com> at 2004-05-10 18:32:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awwwww yeah.
Submitted by Christ (user info) at 2004-05-02 14:05:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis 1990.
Submitted by Christ (user info) at 2004-05-01 18:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-05-01 01:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no mention of the founder of this uber-thread????
huh????
Submitted by cwl989 (user info) at 2004-04-30 23:17:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Glory be to the gloryhole.
Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2004-04-30 19:54:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the captions.
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-04-30 19:29:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've seen that video.
What?