At Long Last I've Decided Not to Die (895 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.61 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Phoenix <volklcess.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2004-05-03 14:33:25 EDT
The funny thing about smokers is that they're all aware of what a nasty habit it is they have. They don't need some melodramatic asshole standing next to them pretending to hack up their lungs from supposedly "horrible" second-hand smoke to know that they're killing themselves. The segregation between smokers and non-smokers has gotten to the point where some people actually full-heartedly believe that smokers are BAD people, and those non-smokers constantly feel the need to remind smokers that they're habit is a disgusting one. News flash: WE KNOW. Moreover, if a smoker's still smoking, they don't care. Any smoker can quit at any given time - it's just a matter of how badly they want to quit because it does take a good amount of commitment.
On any given day I'll jokingly comment that I'm going to go "take 7 minutes off my life" or "have myself a cancer stick," and although it's said jovially, the truth of the matter is, I know what I say is fact and I don't need a non-smoker to roll their eyes at me and cover their mouth like I just threw a round of napalm at them. If a smoker really wants to quit, they will; otherwise they've accepted the fact that theirs is a habit which will lead to their eventual demise.
Quitting smoking is hard. There will always be someone who doesn't know who thinks that it's just a matter of will power. There will always be the smart ass who says, "well, maybe you shouldn't have started in the first place." Well, maybe I shouldn't have, but what's done is done. Oddly enough you never realize *how* addicted you are - what a slave to nicotine you've become - until you do decide to quit. And then you start going through withdrawals which aren't much fun at all.
I started smoking when I was 15. At nearly 22, I've now been smoking for 7 years - 3 of which were before I could even legally buy cigarettes, and I must say that speaks loudly on behalf of our society and smoking. So after 7 years of huffing and puffing, I've decided to quit. I made a personal choice that I don't enjoy wheezing, I don't enjoy getting winded when I walk down the street, and I don't want to look like I'm 50 when I'm only in my 30s. Oh yes, and I don't want to get lung cancer...
It's been tough - the cravings and the withdrawals - so my boyfriend (who is also quitting) and I decided to invest in the patch, and wow. Invest is right. In the short run, it's almost more expensive to quit smoking if you need a crutch. Unfortunately, my will power to quit cold turkey is null - not to mention I think over the few days I had no cigarettes and no patch I hurt quite a few people's feelings - so I do need the patch.
Cost of a box of 14 patches (generic): $31.98. That's enough patches for two weeks. Step 1 on the "Patch Program" is meant to be used for weeks 1 - 4.
Total cost of Step 1: $63.96 (not including tax)
Steps 2 and 3 are 2 weeks a piece, so you only need to buy one box of each of those, each at $31.98.
Total cost to quit smoking with silly little crutch: $127.92 (not including tax)
I was under the impression that steps 1 - 3 are all in the same box. Damn them! Well, I guess for those smokers who smoke a pack a day, it *is* cheaper. And it's $130 for 2 months. Assuming you don't go into a relapse, that's not so bad.
We decided to buy the generic patches from our local Super K-Mart as it seemed those would probably be our cheapest bet. Most pharmacists should be able to answer any questions we have about what happens if you start on step 2? or what if we decide not to use step 3? or would the gross ass Nicorette gum be a better bet for us? And ask the pharmacist these questions we did. He, in turn, pulled a box of the patch off the shelf, put on his horn rimmed glasses, squinted a little, lifted his head a little to peer down through his glasses as older people often do, scratched his head a bit, and then proceeded to read the back of the box to us. Gee, man, thanks for your help. Guess that's what you can expect from a pharmacist at Super K-Mart.
Matt and I exchanged impatient glances and told the guy we'd just go ahead and buy a box each. Apparently he had no knowledge of the gum or the patch or their effectiveness at different levels.
"Well, alrighty," he said and rang up two boxes for us. "I'm gonna need to see your IDs though. If you look under 30 we just need to make sure." I didn't think you'd need to be 18 to purchase the patch. It didn't even occur to me. I said nothing, but Matt couldn't seem to contain himself:
"Don't want those teenagers to quit smoking, huh?" The pharmacist looked up with a confused look on his face. He didn't get it.
"Oh, no. We just don't want anyone to abuse it." Teenagers can huff aerosol cans for free and you're worried about them spending $32 to abuse a nicotine patch? Maybe I have too much faith in teens today, but I like to think that the majority of them aren't *that* stupid. Hey, man, whaddaya say we go spend a lot of money on those nicotine patches and put on all 14 of them at once? Har har. That would be SO kewl. LOL!!1!!! OMG!!!11!!
I want to be kind of discreet about quitting smoking. I don't want too many people to know because frankly, my friends are assholes. They're the kind of people who would light up in front of me, take long deliberate puffs, and say asinine things like, "mmm that nicotine is EXCELLENT. Are you SURE you don't want a cigarette?" And that's lame. (I don't care much if Uber knows because no one here is in a situation where they can actually tempt me with a cigarette.)
Much to my dismay I've discovered this patch is anything but discreet. Being that it's generic, it's not square like the Nicorette patches. It's a big ol' circle that says, "Nicotine Transdermal System 14 mg delivered over 24 hours NCH 0820." Couldn't they have just put "Nicotine Patch?" Is it really necessary to explain every little detail about it on the patch? So they're big and round and they have a lot of writing on them, and you maybe saying, "well, what does it matter if it's under your clothes?" It wouldn't if you weren't able to see a big circular shape through my shirt. The patch is only sticky in the middle, so the ends that stick up make for a sexy circle on a random spot under my clothes. Everyone's nosy. Everyone wants to let me know there's a circle from something under my shirt as if I didn't already know. And then of course once I say, "I know" they want to know what it is. :::sigh:::
Then we come to the matter of what the patch itself does. First of all, it burns. Not constantly - it burns and itches for the first hour or so after you put it on, but an hour is too much. It'll burn sporadically after that. I'll be fine for a bit and all of sudden the area where the patch is will itch like crazy. Thank God you're helping my nic-fits, but do you have to burn so damn bad?
Second, there are the dreams. The dreams, Erika? Yes, the dreams. For any of my fellow uberites who have ever used the patch and slept with it on, you know what I'm talking about. The box even tells you you'll have vivid dreams and that you don't have to wear the patch while you're sleeping if it's bothersome to you. I kind have to wonder what exactly causes this patch to affect your brain so much that you have dreams like these. What they SHOULD'VE written on the box is: "You'll have dreams so realistic you won't be able to distinguish them from waking life, and, as is customary of dreams, you'll be in a scenario so odd, you'll think you're tripping on a very strong hallucinogen." Vivid dreams, indeed. I don't think "vivid" is a strong enough adjective to describe these dreams. My dream last night was so "vivid" I woke up wondering how the hell I was suddenly in my bed. That caused all sorts of confusion and disorientation...
So thus the last battle of my war with nicotine has begun, and I'm hoping it's the battle that wins the war. Oh, how I wish I'd never lit up that first cigarette.
Here's a picture of the damn patch. Look how red it made my skin!! Grr
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-22 15:37:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-05-07 12:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So I brought up the story at poker last night, not telling them it was from Uber, and the guys have decided to buy the patch so we can all see if we have vivid dreams. How long did it take for them to start? I know it is a bad idea but come on, it sounds so cool.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-05-05 15:31:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I was successful in stopping my day-to-day habit...no more cigs when I wake up, no more cravings when I'm at work, no after dinner cigarette, no before bed cigarette, just an after-a-shot-of-whiskey cigarette and the occasional rolling-face-on-x cigarette.
Get this Envenom...
I don't even need the after a joint/blunt/pipe/bonghit cigarette!
Now admit and reckanize, that's purty damn good!"
Yeah, I might have one when I'm drinking too but that's about it. I hear you about not having the cig after blazing. That's the only reason I started smoking cigarettes to begin with, because initially I couldn't get high unless I had a cigarette afterwards. I always swore I'd stop smoking after I stopped getting a nicotine buzz. It took a little longer than expected, but I did it.
Cool thing is now, if I'm having a real bad stressful day at work, I'll bum one from somebody and I'll come back in feeling totally wasted. I mean nicotine buzz like I'd been dipping Kodiak or some shit. All the smokers are so jealous.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-05-05 15:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm proud.
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-05-04 10:00:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
********************************************
Then you haven't really quit then have you?
********************************************
I tried that. Be prepared to start buying packs within the next couple of months. If you really want to quit, you can't play with them.
********************************************
I was successful in stopping my day-to-day habit...no more cigs when I wake up, no more cravings when I'm at work, no after dinner cigarette, no before bed cigarette, just an after-a-shot-of-whiskey cigarette and the occasional rolling-face-on-x cigarette.
Get this Envenom...
I don't even need the after a joint/blunt/pipe/bonghit cigarette!
Now admit and reckanize, that's purty damn good!
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2004-05-04 09:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I found that when I actually wanted to give up, it was actually quite easy to do it with will power alone. You need to focus on some the positive aspects that giving up brings.
There will be times when you think "fuck it I'll have one", but just hold out.
Fuck patches and gum. They are for the weak.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-05-03 22:46:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written and I agree with a lot of your points.
Sadly enough, I've been smoking for eleven years.
I'm only 23.
Someday I'll want to quit bad enough.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-05-03 17:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job... I quit smoking a few months ago... it was hard. The more things you do to curtail your habit, the better.
I took so long to quit because I was worried about gaining weight... but I just made a concious effort to not eat out of boredom, and I began running... which I could NOT do when I was a smoker.
Although I keep smoking when I drink. I should stop doing that.
And I can smell again! Yippie!
Submitted by acrog (user info) at 2004-05-03 17:10:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
' quit cold turkey on March 1st. After the first month, I now allow myself to smoke while at bars, clubs, etc.'
I tried that. Be prepared to start buying packs within the next couple of months. If you really want to quit, you can't play with them.
about the weed, that helped me.
Just get some swag and a dug-out. Use it to supliment those I-gotta-smoke-while-driving cravings.
You don't have to smoke enough to really even get high, just enough to fake your brain out that you're smoking.
I quit a year ago. Actually, 21 days until my quitting aniversary.
Good luck
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-05-03 17:00:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I quit years ago and smoke cigarettes once in a blue moon just to mock my friends who are unable to quit.
I quit as soon as they went over 2 bucks a pack. (Can you remember back that far?) That, as well as the black shit I hawked up every morning was all the motivation I needed. It was either give up cigarettes, or give up blazing. Anyone who's read any of my posts knows which won.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-05-03 16:58:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-05-03 16:53:58 (#)
Ranking: 1
I quit cold turkey on March 1st. After the first month, I now allow myself to smoke while at bars, clubs, etc.
How did I do it cold turkey, you ask?
Simple.
Smoke more weed."
Then you haven't really quit then have you?
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2004-05-03 16:53:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I quit cold turkey on March 1st. After the first month, I now allow myself to smoke while at bars, clubs, etc.
How did I do it cold turkey, you ask?
Simple.
Smoke more weed.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-05-03 16:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Try the 16 hour patches, rather than the 24 hour ones. Those first 4 weeks with the 24 hour patches nearly drove me insane.
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-05-03 16:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Razor - I haven't had one of those dreams yet, but now you have me worried. I was pretty freaked out from the dream I had last night. I woke up in a panic 'cause I seriously had no idea how I'd ended up in my bed.
Damn the patch dream!! Do they go away if you don't wear the patch at night?
:-P
Phoenix
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-05-03 16:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Those dreams are not cool... trust me...
The worst ones are the ones where you're aware that you're dreaming but you cannot wake up.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-05-03 16:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck with quitting! I quit coming up on 3 years ago. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. One thing that helped me was reading that the craving for that one smoke, will pass in 5 minutes. It will come back later, but that one craving will pass. 5 minutes. I spent a lot of time bitching myself out for being to big of a pussy to hold out for 5 minutes. Incidentally, I met my husband in the smoking cessation class I took. I think it is good that you are BOTH doing it. Built in moral (or immoral) support. The class I took was at our local health department, put on by the American Lung Association. The program is designed to support quitters in whatever method they choose to quit. Be it cold turkey, the patch or whatever. We had a couple acupuncture quitters. Ugh. No thanks.
Sorry for the long response...good luck.
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-05-03 16:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lacksmotivation - That's not my ass. It's my side. I guess kind of my love-handle area. And it's red from the patch.
You worried about my personal life with my boyfriend? You jealous?
Submitted by Lacksmotivation (user info) at 2004-05-03 16:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
your ass is kinda red. Your boyfriend been using that thing for target practice too?
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-05-03 16:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been on the patches for 52 days, which is just over 7 weeks. I haven't had the Patch Dreams since the first 4 weeks and man, did they suck.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-03 16:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cough...cough...cough
I'm proud of you, Erika! We'll have to take you out for a chocolate shake and some chocolate cake topped with chocolate ice-cream, sprinkled with chocolate jimmies, and smothered in hot fudge as a reward.
I'm tempted to check these patches out. I want some vivid dreams.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-05-03 15:42:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Davy i think i speak for the majority of people when i tell you to SHUT THE FUCK UP. People like you annoy the living fuck out of me. I dont even smoke and i want to bitch-slap you. You act as if you live in a perfect germ-free bubble and that second-hand smoke is the only think tapping into your purity. Nevermind pollution from cars and factories.
Please. Stop acting like a bitch and grow up.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Well I will go ahead and speak for myself then, in response to the majority of people, and tell you to kiss my ass. I can assure you the results of you smoking near me are worse then the nearly non existant factories in Iowa, but really, I don't care either way. Maybe second hand smoke will never give me lung cancer, and maybe it has all been blown out of proportion to begin with, the simple fact is I dont give a fuck; It's not my choice to be around it, and if it needs to happen, I'll make sure this is carried out. I liken this to cursing in public, tell me, if you have a 5 year old son, do you want me cussing up a storm near him? Will it irritate you? Don't you know that he will just hear it at school anyways? No? Not the point is it? Less is always better isn't it? I suppose it is all that smog from car and industry that gives my sister near instant asthma attacks when people smoke around her isn't it? In short, blow me asshole, and don't get tough on the internet, in person you would never consider bitch-slapping me, you would likely walk away and tell your friends how close you came to kicking some guys ass, but then you walked away because you don't have the balls for it.
If you will notice I also gave congrats for choosing to quit, I pretty much like everything that was said past the first paragraph.
Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2004-05-03 15:34:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I concur with reallybored.
Davy: You've nothing beneficial to bring to the conversation. Not only that, but you're also behaving like a self-righteous twerp. Please leave.
Good fortune on your endeavor, Phoenix.
Stay orange.
--JW
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-05-03 15:03:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I truly could not care less if you want to kill yourself, it's the thousands upon thousands not smoking who die of second hand smoke because of you choosing to not care. If I am standing next to you and all I am doing is hacking feel lucky, because if you don't take the hint you are soon to lose your cigarette, as an athlete *I* choose not to deal with your choice. In short, good job choosing to quit, howevor you are in no position to feel indignant to non smokers wanting you to fuck off.
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Davy i think i speak for the majority of people when i tell you to SHUT THE FUCK UP. People like you annoy the living fuck out of me. I dont even smoke and i want to bitch-slap you. You act as if you live in a perfect germ-free bubble and that second-hand smoke is the only think tapping into your purity. Nevermind pollution from cars and factories.
Please. Stop acting like a bitch and grow up.
Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-05-03 14:54:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've tried quitting 2 or 3 times before, who wants to be old anyway?
Most people don't know or believe it, but there is NO link what-so-ever to second hand smoke causing cancer in people. The odds you'll get lung cancer normally 10, in 100,000. The odds if your exposed to secondhand smoke 12 in 100,000.
Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2004-05-03 14:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it's great that you have chosen to quit. I hope you have much more luck than I did. I think the biggest trick is to think like an alcoholic, being that it only takes that one - and you're fucked.
Good luck.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-05-03 14:50:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The funny thing about smokers is that they're all aware of what a nasty habit it is they have. They don't need some melodramatic asshole standing next to them pretending to hack up their lungs from supposedly "horrible" second-hand smoke to know that they're killing themselves. The segregation between smokers and non-smokers has gotten to the point where some people actually full-heartedly believe that smokers are BAD people, and those non-smokers constantly feel the need to remind smokers that they're habit is a disgusting one. News flash: WE KNOW. Moreover, if a smoker's still smoking, they don't care. Any smoker can quit at any given time - it's just a matter of how badly they want to quit because it does take a good amount of commitment.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
I truly could not care less if you want to kill yourself, it's the thousands upon thousands not smoking who die of second hand smoke because of you choosing to not care. If I am standing next to you and all I am doing is hacking feel lucky, because if you don't take the hint you are soon to lose your cigarette, as an athlete *I* choose not to deal with your choice. In short, good job choosing to quit, howevor you are in no position to feel indignant to non smokers wanting you to fuck off.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-05-03 14:42:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck.
The dreams do happen too...scary, real dreams.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-05-03 14:42:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I'm gonna need to see your IDs though. If you look under 30 we just need to make sure."
That made me want to bash myself in the head with the book I"m supposed to be studying from.
GOOD LUCK!!
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-05-03 14:41:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU ARE A FELLOW PATCH DREAMER.
I know a number of people who have used the patch and don't have the dreams.
For me the dreams were so bad that after a couple of days I had big black circles under my eyes and everyone thought I was possessed or something. I couldn't take it and went back to smoking as the healthy alternative.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-05-03 14:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good work. One of my exs use to smoke and kissing her was fucking digusting about 30% of the time.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-05-03 14:39:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 and please send me more angles of that photo, from a lower angle, and cropped higher.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-05-03 14:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you should draw a big smiley face on the patch.
good luck.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-05-03 14:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck, I know it's tough as shit. I've tried quitting several times. The patch is pretty decent, but you still have the whole oral fixation thing. Go buy those bubble gum cigarettes, the ones with the powder.