Infidelity and Whisky (667 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.33 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Guy in Denmark (View user info) at 2004-05-04 19:58:31 EDT
You know, or hopefully you don't, that it's a pretty fucking weird feeling when you realise you no longer love your girlfriend of 3 years. And then, as quickly as it came, it's replaced by the strangely numb feeling found at the bottom of a glass of Speyside. I have, of course, left my girlfriend sleeping in bed, to celebrate the first hours of my birthday in the company of strong drink, and, quite depressingly, my computer. As a little sidebar to all of this, thank god for spellcheck it's saving my drunken typing on almost every word.
Now, let us assume that you give a fuck about me, and furthermore that you've asked the question: "My friend, what could possible lead you to decide that you no longer feel for your girlfriend?" The answer is simple, I fucked another girl. You may be forgiven for feeling incredulous, but my drunken, unfaithful fumblings have led me to a greater truth. The truth being that it is more fun to have sex with girls with larger tits (especially if they happen to be finger-lickin' dirty), and also that I have no feelings for the girl currently lying in the other room.
This might be apt to make you imagine that I have feelings for the girl on the receiving end of my fling, but this is not the case. I kind of feel sorry for her, and to find out why, I think it is necessary for me to recap the details brief union. To whit:
Step 1: I was drinking in the park in the sun, rendering me inebriated for the start of a work party which I was obliged to attend.
Step 2: On arrival at said party, I continued to drink, due to presence of free keg.
Step 3: At some point in the party I began to discourse on the relationship between art criticism and information theory. This may sound dull to you, but as I was drunk I probably filled it up with enough swearing to make it entertaining to even the most mentally challenged.
Step 4: When the girl in question (an aesthetics student) heard this, I swear her panties fell on the floor in a moist little heap.
Step 5: She started coming on really strong, and though I tried at first to resist, she just kept coming.
Step 6: She had big tits.
Step 7: I was pissed.
Step 8: I was back at her place, commenting drunkenly on her art books.
Step 9: We made love (I think "We Shagged" is probably more correct)
Step 10: We finished and she said: "I suppose you're going back to your girlfriend now", to which I replied: "yes"
Step 11: As I was getting dressed, and she was lying there allnaked and vulnerable on the bed she said: "Can I have one last kiss?"
Step 12: My heart broke.
In this twelve step program I learnt more about myself then I have in 3 years of monogamous relationship, so I guess my points are:
1) It feels good to get this shit down.
And 2) cheating is the ultimate tool in self discovery.
Thank you for listening.
User Reviews
Submitted by Luckystar (user info) at 2004-05-05 14:00:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by njdk (user info) at 2004-05-05 05:07:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sad, but sadly true, my friend
Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2004-05-04 22:28:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this makes me sad
Submitted by Dufflady (user info) at 2004-05-04 21:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I doubt your girlfriend would agree. But if you gave a damn you wouldn't have done it or be here telling us.
+1 for being honest with yourself and making sense drunk.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-04 20:44:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for getting it all down.
Submitted by njdk (user info) at 2004-05-04 19:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment