Free Shrimp Day Is Nearing... (873 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.7 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TripinDayZ (View user info) at 2004-05-05 16:10:05 EDT
I hate to admit it but I like Long John Silvers. I have since I was a kid. My best friend and I used to go there on summer days and get crispies and waters. Both free. It would be 105 degrees in the sweltering southern sun and we would get little paper baskets of grease saturated batter crumbs and a urine sample cup of water and be fucking set. I am, however, slightly disturbed by the newest member of the LJS menu club.
The jumbo shrimp
Now, if you have no idea what I am talking about then you are probably picturing your standard, run of the mill, Red Lobster-type jumbo shrimp. About 2-3 inches in length, possibly butterflied. You, my friends, are wrong.
This abomination of cookery is SIX full inches of shrimp. The thing looks like a corn dog. Which, not coincidentally, happens to be the phrase of the day thereby inspiring this post. Why anyone would want a shrimp that is the same size as the textbook definition of the average pud is beyond me. If you have to use a fork on a single shrimp, there is a problem.
Another problem has to be marketing such a horrendous product. I have been reading around a bit on the internet, doing jumbo shrimp research for this post of course, and have come across a very interesting promotional idea that LJS has come up with. Perhaps you have heard it, I had not.
http://www.ljsilvers.com/press/freeshrimp.htm
Yes, they are giving America a free pecker shrimp in honor of the mars expedition and its findings. <tear drop> Is that beautiful or is that beautiful. May tenth is the magic day so mark your calendars.
I can't help but think that perhaps the hiring of some phone sex girls to work the drive thru could also further the noble mission of getting America hooked on phallus like crustaceans. I can see it now.
Man pulls up to drive thru with his wife and kids and mother-in-law on the way home from Sunday service at the community southern Baptist church.
Microphone clicks, lady with a voice like cammi on crank yankers comes on:
"Welcome to the Longest of the John Silvers, would you like to try six inches of hot, steamy, throbbing shrimp to place delectibly between your sweet, oily lips and sample its juices which surely are now flowing freely down the back of your throat only urging you to nibble faster, ensuring you are able to savor each and every thrust of its meatyness into your yearning orafice?"
<tire squeal>
May 10th: free shrimp day in America.
Fucking take THAT SHIT canada!
User Reviews
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-05-06 07:41:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Probably an extra inch of it is just batter... I figured it was some minced shrimp paste formed into that shape, that would have been nasty.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-06 01:41:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you have ever tried those shrimp then you know it's a farce.
They are just regular size shrimp pulled straight instead of curved.
However it is that they get them totally straight to fry them kinda scares me.
I tried them and felt totally scammed.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-05-05 19:30:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
off of cairns, australia, i had shrimp that avg. 9 inches each.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-05-05 18:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is that like minced shrimp or what in that thing?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-05-05 18:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't eat seafood unless I'm near the coast. Oh sure, most likely the stuff you get down in Calabash is frozen, but I don't know that. I think it was plucked from the Atlantic that day and everybody is happy.
Submitted by TripinDayZ420 (user info) at 2004-05-05 17:39:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahaha... yes and it is also where the band Evanescense is from. are you noticing a trend here? and your welcome for getting their latest drogeny stuck in your head for the rest of the day. (i think i just made up a word there) pwnage!!
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-05-05 17:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Little Rock? Isn't that where sweet Bill Clinton's from? I can pitcure him now...
"I eat more fish in a week than most Americans eat in a year. And I ain't talkin' 'bout the kind that swim. Straight Tuna baby!"
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-05-05 17:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
they are giving America a free pecker shrimp..
Yes!! Golden
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:38:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i wanna be a sluuty drive thru girl lol and free shrimp is good too
Submitted by HatMan (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:28:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for thinking Long John Silver's shrimp were getting too similar to tallywhackers.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:26:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmmmmmmm Cap' N D's please.
Submitted by TripinDayZ420 (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Envenom:
I'm in arkansas so we don't have too many options. LJS or Red Lobster really. I think Little Rock and Fayettville have Captain D's.
we need a crack in the box. i havent had a jumbo jack in years. maybe thats why ive been so healthy lately?
Submitted by TripinDayZ420 (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you can be damn sure ill be there with a bib on, fork in my left hand, knife in my right.
im considering disguises for the possiblity of multiple shrimp. or i could just pay the 50 cents or whatever it is for one.
no, disguises are much cooler.
Submitted by Dufflady (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:22:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"-1 because they don't have Long John Silvers down here in NC"
They have it in some places here in NC, guess just not all.
Submitted by Dufflady (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There's no way this has been done before.
"<tire squeal>"
That was just hilarious.
Submitted by SuperSwank (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Blow job worthy...
"Welcome to the Longest of the John Silvers, would you like to try six inches of hot, steamy, throbbing shrimp to place delectibly between your sweet, oily lips and sample its juices which surely are now flowing freely down the back of your throat only urging you to nibble faster, ensuring you are able to savor each and every thrust of its meatyness into your yearning orafice?"
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:17:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate their food, but that little muppet shrimp they used to have in their ads used to crack me up. You know the one, he was french or something. Maybe cajun. French Canadian? Anyway he had this OUTRAGEOUS accent.
yeah.
It was funny.
But then again, I'm easily amused.
Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:16:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kick ass, I remember hearing about that a couple months ago but couldn't remember what day it was.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:15:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck that, I love shrimp, I'd be circling that druve thru all day long!
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:12:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
I love shrimp. I'm considering starting a colony in my bathtub.
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AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:12:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-1 because they don't have Long John Silvers down here in NC and I can't go get some. Bastard! :) Although when I lived up north and had the option I must say I preferred Arthur Treachers.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:12:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love shrimp. I'm considering starting a colony in my bathtub.
Submitted by TripinDayZ420 (user info) at 2004-05-05 16:10:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i really hope this hasn't already been done...