Bööbersite (5764 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1 on 147 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by hidden101 <hidden101.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-05-07 15:53:54 EDT
i'm sure most of you have noticed that Übersite has been maxing out it's bandwidth quite frequently due to the high volume of new users. Übersite has grown dramatically in the past year. i was having a chat with Bart, your Über lord and master, last night about the problem and he said he was in the process of coming up with a solution to this. Bart didn't mention what kind of pipe he has going, but he did mention that Übersite traffic stays up around 1Mbps with the network interface on the server maxing out at 1.2Mbps. once it's maxed you get that nice little message. now, there are ways to deal with that without having to do anything all that drastic, but anything you do does cost you money. and just so you ingrates know, Bart pays for everything out of his own pocket because he will not charge anyone to use Übersite nor will he annoy you with pop-up ads or banners. he is just that nice of a guy. (like you'd really come here if he did charge a member fee...)
so, i guess what this is all about is, does anyone have any suggestions? does anyone know a good way for Bart to bring in a little money without resorting to annoying ads and such?
don't worry, this doesn't mean Übersite may shut down. at least Bart didn't mention anything of the sort. i know you were all worried for a second there, because if Bart shut down Übersite, you lovely people wouldn't be able to read my awesome posts anymore. i assure you, that is not the case. my posts will still be available for your viewing pleasure. in fact, i'm working on a new one right now. i just need to come up with a title, a couple sentences, and a picture of me and it will be done. don't hold your breath.
i think Bart should put up a pr0n site called "Bööbersite" that could be a partner site to Übersite. he could rake in tons of money like that, and there could even be a "Girls of Übersite" section with lots of hot lez action. oh yes. i would also be willing to donate my talent to some of the videos where i screw lots of hot chicks and drop huge loads of semen in their butts. anyway, just a suggestion. sex sells, Bart. don't forget that.
anyway, in case any of you forgot, i'm the best and you're not. GO ÜBERSITE WOO!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-01-25 02:12:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This would fix uber
Submitted by NSFW (user info) at 2005-06-11 03:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As far as i read, nobody suggested this, but quit attaching shitty pictures. The one on this post alone ran 106mb over 5000 some odd hits.
Maybe disable attachments altogether
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-06-11 03:19:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We could put Bart in a dress and have him work a corner a few nights a month
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-06-11 02:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I opened the post and there was this picture of what I assume is you, and I wanted to punch you in the face.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-11 02:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a good idea.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2004-11-26 11:16:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You take a lot of pictures of yourself. -2 for posting a picture of yourself and not some tits.
Submitted by UlfGabe (user info) at 2004-06-10 21:28:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Never eliminate the bottom rung of ubersociety, we are the bottom for a reason. You need us to compare with the top and say, "whoah, that is a plus 2 post, and over here we have a stinking piece of mouldy dog shit."
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-10 21:20:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dr. Pepper kicks ass.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-05-24 09:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like you.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-05-15 12:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, Honestly I think the only way for Bart to avoid paying plenty out of his own pocket and to not charge tons of cash ie Membership fees ... what he could do is impliment a system like a game i used to play called 1000ad.
What they would do is they pretty much set up a PayPal account and have you donate. If you donated so much... ie 20$ you get a tshirt.. blah blah it's kinda like buying something but with the charitable part of your soul intact....
Oh yeah... I'm gettin my own Ubersite T shirt made next time I go to the beach......
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2004-05-13 08:03:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
for whatever that's worth, I would never pay for access to this site, or any other site. It is a matter of principle. I might donate bandwidth or mirrorspace, but not money. Oh, and fuck advertising, too.
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-05-13 03:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think that one of the things that might help out a little bit is clear out posts.
-extreme negative ratings (-1 to -2, most likely sucked bad enough no one will read it again)
-no ratings (no one thought it was good enough to say anything, whos going to read it again?)
Perhaps not put up the most recently viewed list. That lists changes every second so not sure what that is doing
Donations are good. I am sure the ones that care enough would donate.
$1 a month charge would be good. Gets rid of the people that don't care enough to post good stuff. May get rid of incoming posters as well, those that think they could actually contribute might stay. (if they come here all the time and like what they read, chances are they will start posting. firefly and mistiamoon are the only 2 that i can think of that come all the time and dont really post, if at all. i know fly doesn't) It's a small fee. $12 a year should be able to be afforded by all that care.
Bart might want to do something about the view user info tabs. I bet that a lot of the traffic comes from people reading a post, liking what the author writes, and views the other 200 posts they have. Or, when new people post and they post something crappy, people look at the other stuff just to post their stats...thats a lot of extra site surfing for a less that great insult. I am not sure what you could do with it. Perhaps close off that list until a certain number of hits is achieved.
Merchandise would be good. Eliminate Ubersite from the shirts. We are trying to solve a traffic problem, not promote the site and generate more.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-05-12 23:15:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Monkey -
Sure, the 8 year olds thing is a bit annoying, but what about these?
http://www.google.com/search?&q=sleeping%20naked
http://www.google.com/search?&q=clitoris%20ring
http://www.google.com/search?&q=sexually%20frustrated
http://www.google.com/search?&q=licking%20bum
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-05-12 23:03:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd still give him a $100 if he "took care of me."
That statement better be applied retroactively!
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-05-12 19:33:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
charging would help, but i'm against. you might lose some decent authors and also the mere fact that you'd have to pay for it would deter some possible good NEW posters from joining.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-12 17:59:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe bart could have some generous people mirror the site or maybe sell stuff like tshirts/mugs/hats/whatever. That would be cool, I might even buy a shirt for the hell of it.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-05-12 13:24:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32850
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-12 11:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't write this post to create a discussion about who should post here and who shouldn't. just because you don't like what a certain author posts, it doesn't mean someone else doesn't like it. if you don't like what some people post, you have every right to ignore it or rate it accordingly with a negative rating.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-05-12 10:09:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think an idea to couple with the $1 a month charge, would be the ability to waive that charge should an author contribute enough quality material.
That is to say, that for someone like Sideburns, Kristen, or WillZone, who post constant good posts to somehow earn enough post-credit to avoid the $1 charge.
The only problem I see, is that the clique users who would have even more incentive than normal to hand out +2 to their buddies.
Basically, I just want to try and find a way that good/great posters who are against paying a fee would not be forced off the site.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-05-12 09:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loren- Has it been that long?
I'd do it for free ;).
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-05-12 09:41:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tonymontana has the best idea so far.
I would give a credit card #. And if you needed a credit card or paypal acct., ???
BYE BYE TEENAGERS!!!! Hello UberEDEN!!!
I'd still give him a $100 if he "took care of me."
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-05-12 07:13:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
pr0n me baby!
Submitted by Sinnr at 2004-05-12 02:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dont see why a banner near the bottom of each page would be so bad. Banners at the top would suck. Popups would be completely horrid, although with all the free popup blockers out there, i dont see why it even matters anymore.
So maby popups, with a link to a popup blocker site.
Submitted by KoolWang (user info) at 2004-05-11 23:34:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-11 23:30:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i was just thinking; i wonder what they did with my foreskin after they removed it from my penis...
probably made a 10 person tent with it.
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2004-05-11 23:29:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bart should charge $1/month. That's cheap enough so that it would retain all the regulars, mva's, and people who just enjoy posting well thought out work. It would also be a barrier for all the teenage schmucks who create multiple accounts and just come here to fuck shit up.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-11 23:16:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahahahaha
that kind of shit happens to me all the time. yesterday i was caught looking at pictures of smegma and had to explain that shit. yes, i'm circumsized, fuckers. Crash sent me a link to it to put me in just such a position.
fuckin' cheesedicks...
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-05-11 22:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks LSM, i clicked that link and saw and clicked back. my computer was slow though, so i was stuck with the search engine fore "naked pics of my 8 year old daughter" for several minutes and i was worried someone would come up and see it and have to explain it.
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-05-11 22:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ubermag and t-shirts.
Submitted by Great_Teacher_Largo (user info) at 2004-05-11 21:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You need the exclusive video of an Emu taking a vicious dump for Boobersite.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-05-11 20:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uber has to be taken out of Search Engine Spider Crawls (or at least posts that over a certain amount of days). There's too many topics that are getting picked up. For example -
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=8+year+old+naked+daughter+girl+pictures
is on the front page.
This might help -
http://www.robotstxt.org/wc/meta-user.html
Of course ignore this if it was already discussed. ;)
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-11 20:08:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Luckystar (user info) at 2004-05-11 19:01:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
i swear i saw you at the river this weekend
==========================================
i didn't go to any rivers this weekend, but i did plan on going to two of them. i thought about going tubing up by Austin, and going to the Riverwalk here in San Antonio. instead, i spent most of the weekend bumming around at home.
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2004-05-11 19:52:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sell merchandise...
I would wear ubersite clothing, and drink out of uber-mugs.
Submitted by Luckystar (user info) at 2004-05-11 19:01:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i swear i saw you at the river this weekend
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-11 17:20:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i love yidele.
in a non-gay way, of course.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-05-11 16:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why is everyone so angry on this site
-------------------------------------------
I'm gonna go with lack of sexual gratification. I know i get grumpy in the morning when i havent gotten any.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-05-11 11:17:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll give Bart $100 bucks if he goes down on me.
Submitted by p0ny_feeder (user info) at 2004-05-11 11:00:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If the site is worth it, ad's won't stop me from it
Besides it would bring a bit of colour to it...
Unfortuantely some things get too good and too popular for itself... Similar to myself really
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2004-05-11 09:27:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
....and since it would not cost me anything beyond some bandwidth and disk space, I would donate a fraction of my uplink for Bööberuse
Yidele
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2004-05-11 09:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
seriously, folks, Uber could be made better. If most of you left. And if you wanted to virtualize it, It might be possible to reflect content off several dsl-connected( or better) systems. Some dynamic DNS providers offer a "load-balancing-like" service were http queries are directed to a list of hosts on a round robin basis. It would of course mean that those systems themselves would have to have an on-demand update mechanism to stay synchronized, but such software already exists, and if we're synchronizing individual records from a database, this would be quite doable.
Atleast two models are possible. One where the content master (Uber-pimp) contains the master db and the graphical attachments) which are updated or fetched as needed by slave systems ( uber-Ho's), which actually serve the content to the users OR two, a p2p like system where all systems are equivalent, contain the same data ( and therefore are more resillient to Uber-failure) but require more effort to keep in sync
in case of ONE, I imagine that a local agent residing on an uber-ho system would, upon recieving a post-event, notify the Uber-pimp of pending update with a record containig the text of the post, it's local ID and an attachment, if any. Upon recieving an update from his Uber-ho, the master system would update the local db and pimp his incremental update out to his hoes, minus the attachment. The hoes would serve the content with attachments linked from the pimp...
This model would have the added benefit of reducing bandwidth usage ( we are updating single records) and make synchronization easier since all updates are served from a single master. Only bandwidth heavy attachments would be served from the Uber pimp.
in case of TWO, each uber would contain the exact copy of the master db, which would be synchronized with all the other registered systems. updates would be issued upon post, which would mean that the amount of traffic would be spread more-or-less evenly over the whole of Uber domain
Personally, I tend to lean towards the ONE model, mostly because it would not require ( I think, I may be full of shit here, please verify, Bart) a substantial rewrite & it would not expose Bart's own code to malicious shits AND it would make centralized content control possible.
Ofcourse, the mechanism for registering as an uber-ho and the update mechanism would have to be secure, this is also eminently doable via 1)Open ssl/LDAP 2) ipsec tunneling or any other type of open PKI.
Think about it. It might be a fun project.
Submitted by dEaD-HeAd <deadhead.at.rock.com> at 2004-05-11 08:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how about selling the site to microsoft??....ummmmm , great idea , but pathatic
how about charity??? put a donation box in a church or something
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-10 21:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-10 20:15:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by anarki_2k2 (user info) at 2004-05-10 18:45:32 (#)
Ranking: -2
made me smile :).. no wait it made me feel queer for that you suck!
==================================================================
if you want to feel queer for real, you can suck my dick.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-05-10 21:12:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I seriously don't understand the hate and agression on this site. Albeit it has been somewhat low on this post and really one of the more recent reviews brought upon this question, but where does it all stem from?
Why is everyone so angry on this site?
I hardly have the heart to give negative ratings anymore.
Could someone do their best at explaning the psychology of the people that simply spew negativity and agression?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-10 20:15:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by anarki_2k2 (user info) at 2004-05-10 18:45:32 (#)
Ranking: -2
made me smile :).. no wait it made me feel queer for that you suck!
==================================================================
if you want to feel queer for real, you can suck my dick.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-05-10 18:54:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sigh
Submitted by anarki_2k2 (user info) at 2004-05-10 18:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
made me smile :).. no wait it made me feel queer for that you suck!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-10 17:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i agree with Yidele.
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2004-05-10 16:04:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am a nobody & what is more important, I have no money to give you.
It strikes me that the reasons for ubersite's growth are the same reasons which cause me to post less & less, which means I personally have no reason to want Ubersite to grow anymore. Unless people are willing to donate bandwidth/virtual server space or money, you'll have to whore uber out to grow, hopefully in a marignally tastefull fashion like Google's sponsored link section. Personally I'd try to virtualize uber & loadbalance it over several lower bandwidth pipes, it would mean at least a partial rewrite....
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-05-10 15:24:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i would pay a subscription for for user specific features like "My reviewed" and "My viewed".... maybe an advanced search feature.
Submitted by defender0417 (user info) at 2004-05-10 12:15:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
make some sort of system so you have to pay per ammount of posts; that way some users (loki) might bring it down to a more reasonable level of posting (in other words: less posts=less posts to go to, therefore meaning less bandwidth used).
Submitted by Agent Smith <smith.at.fbi.gov> at 2004-05-10 12:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"hahaha. where's Agent Smith when you need him? "
I don't work weekends.
In accordance with Section 4.23 of the Patriot Act, this thread is being logged. You have all been warned.
And dont put up banners, I have to see enought of that crap everyday.
[This last sentence is not endorsed by the FBI.]
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-05-10 10:37:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd be down with some lesbian action. I think that I would make a pretty good lesbian.
Also, I'd be willing to post pictures of my boobs, although I'm only an A-cup at best. I need to eat more fast food and drink more beer to get em' bigger.
Submitted by dfhefrhc <fkhhdh> at 2004-05-10 07:59:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What were u thinking, Dr pepper, can u diagnose me?
Submitted by Socially_Distorted (user info) at 2004-05-10 06:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:55:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
If you deleted all the useless accounts that aren't being used anymore, and somehow limited a single user to one account only, would you pick up bandwidth? There must be tons of info on the system that isn't current or is considered dead info.
Otherwise, every time a person posts it cost a dollar. That would certainly cut down on all the shit that goes on here.
--------------------------------------------------
You would also lose your good posters too.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2004-05-10 04:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"so, i guess what this is all about is, does anyone have any suggestions? does anyone know a good way for Bart to bring in a little money without resorting to annoying ads and such?"
As I said to my old boss in a cost cutting meeting...
Get rid of everyone that I dont like.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-05-10 03:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe I could get bill gates to donate a dollar for every hit my "Exploiting Peer to Peer Networking" post gets.
He did it for Malaria...
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-05-10 03:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bart, would the solution then, be to simply put up a mirror server to handle the excessive connections? It sounds like to me another server would be the solution. How much money are we looking at?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-09 23:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-05-09 20:27:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
The picture is a nice marketing strategy, except there's some fag looking person in there.
================================================================
what a brilliant mastery of insult. i am defeated.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-05-09 20:27:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The picture is a nice marketing strategy, except there's some fag looking person in there.
I vote for Dr. Uber, the drink that leaves you Bored At Work.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-05-09 16:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
have you fuckers forgotten??
http://www.ubersite.com/m/19384
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-05-09 15:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
T-Shirts would be awesome. Perhaps a design contest posted on the site?
Donations are always good; one way to make it worth their while is possibly a symbol (some sites I've been to give a special font, or access to normally restricted areas, etc) for persons who donate to the maintenance of the site.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-09 00:44:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
T-shirts?
Shit!
Can I get those naked pictures back please?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-05-09 00:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"polyblahblahblah (novelty only)"
Novelty? Maybe like the novelty you get with one of those giant foam fingers...
what?
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-05-08 22:01:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll rent the license to the ubersite logo, or we can split a percentage. I sell custom shirts hats mugs etc. been selling on Ebay for years. I can make it simple - mail me. I can keep prices reasonable fo rhte people & still generate profit. I'd love to have an ubersite shirt.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-08 15:50:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes, drstrangedhruv, it is very relevant. thank you. if you'd like to help, you can email me. we'd be happy to have your help. i just got off the phone with Razor, and i'll let you in on what we discussed. it actually partly pertains to your idea.
Submitted by drstrangedhruv (user info) at 2004-05-08 15:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to plug an old, but relevant post.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/19182
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-05-08 14:04:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just donations dammit.
A small link at the bottom takes people to the form to pay a certain amount of money. Within the mass of users there must be some willing to cough up a couple of bucks towards the cause. Say two dollars a piece for about 5% will do very nicely. A-la Maddox.#
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-08 14:02:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-05-08 12:49:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
why not get pop-ups, but offer free downloads to anti pop-up software?
=======================================================================
hahahahaha
Razor and i talked last night about some possible solutions, and we've pretty much come up with one that we both agree on. i'm going to call him in a little bit to work out the details.
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2004-05-08 13:56:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
donations is the best thing to do..
if we want this site to stay we will pay
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-05-08 12:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why not get pop-ups, but offer free downloads to anti pop-up software?
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-05-08 12:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by fionavar (user info) at 2004-05-08 07:43:01 (#)
Ranking: 1
Specifically, how much money are we talking about here?
One time donation to update the servers, as GodChicken suggests?
What monthly amount does Bart need to actually break even?
As for fundraising, I actually have one. People in Ontario, listen:
I run a baseball league. We sell beer, lots of beer, at tournaments we hold in June, July, and August.
We make $2,000 per fundraiser, Canadian. Over the course of ONE weekend, starting up Friday night and ending Sunday afternoon.
If anyone is interested in participating, I can approach our league about giving one of the weekends to uber. But, I'll need volunteers. The location is about 45 minutes north of Toronto. There is a campground immediately beside the park area, if anyone is interested in commuting and staying.
Or, we could just all band together and sell 25,000 Krispy Kremes.
---------------------------
That's just a little far away.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-05-08 08:28:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd get naked for bart.. I mean.. Uber....
Does anyone know where I can pick up a cheap digital camera/webcam? I really need the ability to take random pictures of myself whenever the mood takes me.
Submitted by fionavar (user info) at 2004-05-08 07:43:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Specifically, how much money are we talking about here?
One time donation to update the servers, as GodChicken suggests?
What monthly amount does Bart need to actually break even?
As for fundraising, I actually have one. People in Ontario, listen:
I run a baseball league. We sell beer, lots of beer, at tournaments we hold in June, July, and August.
We make $2,000 per fundraiser, Canadian. Over the course of ONE weekend, starting up Friday night and ending Sunday afternoon.
If anyone is interested in participating, I can approach our league about giving one of the weekends to uber. But, I'll need volunteers. The location is about 45 minutes north of Toronto. There is a campground immediately beside the park area, if anyone is interested in commuting and staying.
Or, we could just all band together and sell 25,000 Krispy Kremes.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-05-08 07:39:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd pay money to see Urbane and Kristen go at it "in private".
Boobersite is a great idea.
I also agree with a banner on BAW. It seems to get the lion's share of traffic and a banner there wouldn't really affect us here on Uber.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-05-08 05:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:59:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
The description here isn't totally accurate... the server hasn't ever maxed out the network interface yet. The peak throughput has been 1077kbps. When that gets to 1200kbps, conections to the site will start to slow down and maybe be refused.
The problems thus far have mainly been because of too many simultaneous connections to the database. When there are 80 simultaneous requests and one of them starts to slow down the server, eventually the database can't keep up and starts erroring out. That's why I shut off the Most Recently Viewed list and the more complicated parts of search.
So, in short, I need more naked pictures of people.
========================================================
Knowing that Bart uses SQL as a database, and that he's having problems with too many connections at once..
Either A. Bart needs more memory, as each connection takes up some. B. He may need to adjust the settings for SQL in how much memory it is allowed to use. C. needs to upgrade to a newer version of SQL.
Or D. Should think about a one time donation to get him a 2nd box to run a second instance of SQL and have them replicating/load balancing.
Gah. I think too much. Any other system analyst or IT type folks out there have an idea?
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2004-05-08 02:57:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2004-05-08 00:16:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
General population that clicked on my hit-whore title because it said Boob, is there a way that I can kiss Bart's ass and suck his cock simultaneously while wasting everyone's time with some faux-helpful crusade?"
----------------------
I concur. And do you hear that sound, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of your demise. That is the sound of my photoshop starting up.
Submitted by moebius (user info) at 2004-05-08 02:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why is there ectoplasm in your picture??
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2004-05-08 00:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
General population that clicked on my hit-whore title because it said Boob, is there a way that I can kiss Bart's ass and suck his cock simultaneously while wasting everyone's time with some faux-helpful crusade?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 23:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'll just hop on MSN, Jeremy.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-05-07 23:02:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hidden, hit me up with an email Jeremy_21117.at.hotmail.com
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 23:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i would totally wear a Phinch thong.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If you deleted all the useless accounts that aren't being used anymore, and somehow limited a single user to one account only, would you pick up bandwidth? There must be tons of info on the system that isn't current or is considered dead info.
Otherwise, every time a person posts it cost a dollar. That would certainly cut down on all the shit that goes on here.
------------------------------------
um... mel and i are in the same house with the same IP, we'd be stuck sharing a damn name..and well...Mel sucks ass
and hamilton? i'm not a lesbian... I'm greedy
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:56:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It looks like you're on the set of a play.
Donations sounds like a good idea, i wouldn't mind a bannder, but I think that would kinda take away from the ambience of Ubersite.
Ubersite Merchandise is an idea I'm excited about. I'd love to wera a shirt that said: "WTF! I'M NOT READING ALL THAT!" That would achieve much awesomeness.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:55:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you deleted all the useless accounts that aren't being used anymore, and somehow limited a single user to one account only, would you pick up bandwidth? There must be tons of info on the system that isn't current or is considered dead info.
Otherwise, every time a person posts it cost a dollar. That would certainly cut down on all the shit that goes on here.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:32:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WHATEVA!
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:26:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
yes. i realized after the fact. i'm a moron.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah right, you realized after Lisa told you. Hmph. Men.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:27:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHA
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:33:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
I would donate.
£100.
that is roughly 264,000,000 US$
+2 just for that
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:07:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:24:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
almost every day. i wear one with my uniform. i love black t-shirts.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:21:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, I almost couldn't tell that was you in the picture...since when do you wear black T-shirts?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GODDAMNIT, Andy, haven't you ever heard of SARCASM?!?!?!
============================================================
yes. i realized after the fact. i'm a moron.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-05-07 15:56:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
"in fact, i'm working on a new one right now. i just need to come up with a title, a couple sentences, and a picture of me and it will be done."
I CANT WAIT! NEITHER CAN KM!
Aha. Ha.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:33:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
I would donate.
£100.
that is roughly 264,000,000 US$
-----------------------------------------------------------
are you trying to fucking have a go at Americans again Apollo??????? bitch, please.
suck me up?
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet
Bööbersite (666 hits)
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:15:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-05-07 21:55:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think that Ubersite has a terrible dirty secret. Whenver you bring up the page, it turns you into a lesbian. Some secret gas must come out of the back of your hard drive. It's the only way to explain the comments below me.
Not that i'm complaining.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
nah,I spend hours on uber and I'm still not even bi-curious yet.
I remain hopeful though.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:24:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
almost every day. i wear one with my uniform. i love black t-shirts.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:21:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, I almost couldn't tell that was you in the picture...since when do you wear black T-shirts?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GODDAMNIT, Andy, haven't you ever heard of SARCASM?!?!?!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-05-07 22:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
666 hits
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-05-07 21:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think that Ubersite has a terrible dirty secret. Whenver you bring up the page, it turns you into a lesbian. Some secret gas must come out of the back of your hard drive. It's the only way to explain the comments below me.
Not that i'm complaining.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2004-05-07 21:53:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
he could rake in tons of money like that, and there could even be a "Girls of Übersite" section with lots of hot lez action.
------------------------------------------
i want NO part in this
(though I'd still like to bang Kristen in private)
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-05-07 21:29:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:52:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
I would pay money to see the following people naked:
Erika
Scott_James
Jonukah
Bart
Erika
Zod
Sideburns
polyblahblahblah (novelty only)
Erika
Kristen, WTF! Im appawled that im not on your list.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 21:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'll get naked for free. unfortunately, very few people can afford displays and video cards that can run a resolution capable of displaying my penis without A LOT of scrolling.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-07 21:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, I'm with everyone else, banners are fine, just please no pop ups EVER!
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-07 21:19:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd get naked to avoid pop-ups anyday.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2004-05-07 21:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Id pay to see you naked ashlee. well maybe.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-05-07 20:51:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:52:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
I would pay money to see the following people naked:
Erika
Scott_James
Jonukah
Bart
Erika
Zod
Sideburns
polyblahblahblah (novelty only)
Erika
APPARENTLY, Kristen doesn't love me anymore. Answer your email/
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-05-07 20:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, but this looks like a dr pepper ad.
Hidden 101 Presents...
DR PEPPER!
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2004-05-07 20:39:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a banner or two wouldnt bother me, hell, there could be a bunch of banner and it could look like and interview on MSNBC. but that shit don't bother me as long as there is no pop ups. fuck pop ups. pop ups are fucking clown shoes. fuck pop ups in their stupid asses. thank you, bitches.
-BongZilla
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 20:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-05-07 19:03:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
your picture answers the question. PRODUCT PLACEMENT. Just have a picture of a can of pepsi randomly inserted into every picture.
==============================================================
he's really got something there, Bart.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-05-07 20:02:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 For Dr. Pepper.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 19:21:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i just thought you had a shitty server, Bart.
just kidding. i never really gave it much thought, but now that you mention it.... who in the fuck would have a NIC that can't handle that?
Submitted by Samo Da Jerbal <www.homestarrunner.com> at 2004-05-07 19:13:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 just because u got dr. pepper in ur picture
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-05-07 19:03:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
your picture answers the question. PRODUCT PLACEMENT. Just have a picture of a can of pepsi randomly inserted into every picture.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-05-07 19:03:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, my number was wrong anyway... it's a 10Mbs card, ie. 8000kbps.
Plenty of time before the card maxes out.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-07 18:59:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll put my loose change in an envelope each week and send it Bart's way.
I have a problem with donations, though. Some people, and I'm thinking Rizzo and Slick Rick for some reason when I say this, who donate will get more of a holier-than-thou/ownership complex.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:59:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The description here isn't totally accurate... the server hasn't ever maxed out the network interface yet. The peak throughput has been 1077kbps. When that gets to 1200kbps, conections to the site will start to slow down and maybe be refused.
The problems thus far have mainly been because of too many simultaneous connections to the database. When there are 80 simultaneous requests and one of them starts to slow down the server, eventually the database can't keep up and starts erroring out. That's why I shut off the Most Recently Viewed list and the more complicated parts of search.
So, in short, I need more naked pictures of people.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:35:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha. where's Agent Smith when you need him?
Submitted by Al_Queda (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just thought I stop in and let you all know that I will be bombing the World Trade Center (both towers) sometime during the early morning of September 11. After that I will be hiding in my cave somewhere on the Afgan border.
If you can't reach me there, try Saudi Arabia, they have offered me lands and riches beyond compare...
Oh, one last thing: I'm often winter at the Bush's ranch in Texas. You can find me uunder the sheets giving Barbra Bush a rimjob with a rusty blender.
INFIDELS PREPARE FOR JIHAD!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:24:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
almost every day. i wear one with my uniform. i love black t-shirts.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, I almost couldn't tell that was you in the picture...since when do you wear black T-shirts?
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
In nine months I will contribute to boobersite.
Perhaps I could send my pocket change til then.
I can skip lunch to keep ubersite up...sniff.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
b0rr0w3d
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-07 18:11:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dr. Pepper is teh pwn!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha. you better hope the CIA doesn't read this, or Bush will have troops raiding your house in a matter of minutes.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:04:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thank you. i will now put my teeth away.
they are wmd's
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:04:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GO APOLLO WOO!!!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 17:55:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
holy shit. i just read your link and you do indeed mention Boobersite.
my bad.
the credit goes to Apollo, folks. all of it.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-07 17:40:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hidden I am warning you!
I will do absolutely nothing if you don't give me credit for Boobersite.
Scared? I bet you are.
I know! I will show you a photo of my british teeth if you don't give me a mention!
Bet you are scared now huh.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-07 17:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mentioning you would have been futile. I don't have enough memory left on my computer for a penis the size of your's.
Got the email, you weren't shafted.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:54:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh, thanks. i guess i'm too ugly for you. did you get my email yet, or is hotmail still giving me the shaft?
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:52:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would pay money to see the following people naked:
Erika
Scott_James
Jonukah
Bart
Erika
Zod
Sideburns
polyblahblahblah (novelty only)
Erika
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:50:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love these replies. even Rixes.
GO BööBERSITE WOO!!!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
not ubersite bart did that duh!!
i meant BOOBERSITE.
I will sue you hidden you handsome bastard.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SOMEONE ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I INVENTED UBERSITE.
okay i am now officially shit faced and stoned.
i see a drunk post comin on.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:40:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why does Apollo keep using odd looking symbols that seem to have something to do with money.
Clearly, Bart should whore himself out for us.
Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:37:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok 38 cents. See, I am dumb.
Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:36:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, I have one.
If people have a negative average rating of all messages, then make them pay that amount ever month. For instance, right now I would have to pay 48 cents a month. This would not only bring in revenue, but eliminate the poor dumb people like me.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would donate.
£100.
that is roughly 264,000,000 US$
Submitted by transcendent (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:30:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think, most of us being adult professionals, we all could chip in a little bit. I'd contribute maybe $100 a year.. not a lot, but it's just a token to show how much I enjoy the site.
So, a Paypal donations account would be ok with me.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:29:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
by the time i wake up this will be most heated.
hidden is a genius.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:18:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Why doesn't bart just issue an IPO the day after google's? I will buy stock, though I would likely make some changes in the executive office.
Or he could set up something like they do with 'seti at home' where he could use bandwidth from others (I have no idea if this is possible, but I use the term 'seti' whenever I can, because it reminds me of my bowling name which is yeti. I have that name because I like the cold weather and overcast skies).
I would donate some bandwidth if possible, but my computer isn't a 24/7 on situation.
Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Only +1 because Dr. Pepper tastes like sewer water.
So far you guys have,
A. Advertisements
B. Selling merchandise.
C. Alternate porn website.
D. Donations
The first one was already cut, so the last three are all thats left? B might work, but only about 100 people would buy something. C could also work, but who wants porn with a side of ranting. D looks like the only real way to go.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:15:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I INVENTED BOOBERSITE
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:03:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because you are not funny yet you listed this post as humor.
How about holding a sort of Uber election. We could all vote on weather Bart should ban you or not. Anyone wishing to vote would write "ban" or "stay" on a crisp one dollar bill and snailmail it.
================================================================
actually, since the title of this post is Bööbersite, i thought it would be fitting to have that icon next to it.
get a clue.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:06:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
remember people- no ads. that means banners and pop-ups. and i don't think Bart needs more bandwidth, either. i'm pretty sure he said it comes down to the actual network interface on the server itself maxing out.
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:01:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
café press.
make t-shirts, undies, coffee mugs, mouse pads.
i'd sure as hell wear a t-shirt that said "i'd do ya" on the front and "in the pooper" on the back, or one that just had a big ass -2 on the back.
----------
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-05-07 15:58:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
moichandising.
------------
AMEN
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:05:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He could go with the donation thing like this site http://www.belowempty.com/newsarchive_2003-06.php (left hand side)
I've often wondered about that, as there are no ads on Uber or BAW. Putting ads on BAW would make the most sense to me.
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:03:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because you are not funny yet you listed this post as humor.
How about holding a sort of Uber election. We could all vote on weather Bart should ban you or not. Anyone wishing to vote would write "ban" or "stay" on a crisp one dollar bill and snailmail it.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh and by the way, if you do the cafe press thing, dont put the word "ubersite" on ANY of it... we wouldnt want that kind of advertisement.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
café press.
make t-shirts, undies, coffee mugs, mouse pads.
i'd sure as hell wear a t-shirt that said "i'd do ya" on the front and "in the pooper" on the back, or one that just had a big ass -2 on the back.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-05-07 16:00:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'd design a t-shirt
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-07 15:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Charge people to post.
reviewing is free but postiing is say, £1?
£1 = $56
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-07 15:59:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great idea. I was thinking donations.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-05-07 15:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i am afraid of boobersite
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-05-07 15:58:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
just sell enough ad space to fund the bigger bandwith... maybe like a banner at the bottom of the page. no pop-ups though. just a thought.
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-05-07 15:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
moichandising.
Submitted by versus_god (user info) at 2004-05-07 15:57:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i enjoy your idea. porn is of the goodness
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-05-07 15:56:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"in fact, i'm working on a new one right now. i just need to come up with a title, a couple sentences, and a picture of me and it will be done."
I CANT WAIT! NEITHER CAN KM!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-07 15:56:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32134
Submitted by russizm (user info) at 2004-05-07 15:56:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i know this has been said before, but..
Why not just take donations?