I learn vomitng is the best (535 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.87 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Posthumous Laughter (View user info) at 2004-05-07 17:56:43 EDT
Let me precede this story by stating that I have had many drinking nights. I have drank more than is often necessary, only to drown out other things, but none the less, I have drank a lot. In the last four months I have drank on every single weekend, without fail. I have however never thrown up from drinking, until this point in time. This was a very momentous occasion for me, as I feel I now am a true drunk and a man. Here it is in chronological/expedited order:
For my friends 21st birthday we decided to have a party at his apartment. He, despite having turned 21 that day, did not feel like drinking. I however, being the magnificent bastard that I am, promised him that I would make him drink and he would have a good time. He did not really believe me, but agreed that maybe he would have "a few beers". This was the start of a very intoxicating night, and a even longer period of drunken disorderly conduct.
7:45: A friend and I decide to split a bottle of alcohol.
7:52: He decides not to drink.
7:59: I am left alone with a fifth of vodka.
8:45: No one is drunk. We decide to play fuck the dealer. I am hitting hard liquor. The others drink beer.
9:21: I pour the last shot of sky into my mouth. I stand in the kitchen, wearing a fur coat, no shirt and a purple furry girl's hat. I am dancing. I am so drunk. I am happy. I don't feel good.
9:23: I state the above. I am escorted to the bathroom with a glass of water and a nasty, old onion bun. Given directions to eat it and drink the water. Or vomit.
9:25:I sit on the floor of the bathroom. Contemplating death. My head spins. My stomach aches. Too much blue martini.
10:15: I arise. I feel better. I am tired.
10: 17: I am led to the couch. Given a blanket and a bucket. I say I am fine. I start to lay my head down. I was wrong.
10:17:13: I run the bathroom. Friends follow in my wake. They want to see me vomit. I will provide.
10:18: I start to vomit profusely. Black, chunky vomit, my toes curl up with the force of the vomit.
10:20: I stop. I look to the door. A crowd has gathered. I am a star. I ask someone to get a camera. I am laughing. They laugh too.
10:21: I vomit more. I continue for several minutes.
10;22: I stop again. Look up and smile for the camera. I give the cameraman a "two guns salute" with my hands. I vomit again.
10:25 I stop vomiting. I feel awesome. I wash my mouth out, leave the bathroom and enter the living room, arms raised in an Ali-esc way.
10:27: I find the chocolate and begin to gorge.
10:45: Everybody leaves. I go to bed spinning still.
User Reviews
Submitted by maryjane (user info) at 2004-06-10 19:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by maryjane (user info) at 2004-06-10 19:47:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-05-07 19:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Done at 10:45? LIGHTWEIGHT!! :) I love drinking, and I have done my fair share, but I have still never puked...
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
An average debauch, perhaps suitable for one convalascing after a serious accident.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:40:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This wasn't really bad or anything, I just think everyone has a story about that time they got drunk and puked.
Nothing real funny or special about it. :(
I know, I'm mean.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for bringing back alcohol induced puking memories.
Submitted by TripinDayZ420 (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:16:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
vomit post day friday!!!... http://www.ubersite.com/m/32472
nice.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-05-07 18:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate puking.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-07 18:07:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is extremely ghey, just like you!