Ubersite, You're Invited to Malone's Election Day Fiesta! (558 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 1.62 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Malone (View user info) at 2004-05-09 01:35:12 EDT
I'd start drinking now, but I don't think I could make it.
November 2 is going to be a great day. I think I'm going to take the day off from work. I mean, why not? Big things will be in the works that day and preparations will begin days ahead of time this year. Oh yeah and there's a vote happening that day too.
I'm talking about my 2004 Election Day Fiesta! Uberists, you're all invited. Everybody knows about my Fiesta!s (must be said with exclaimation point to emphesize EXCITEMENT) as I throw one every four years. Now, when most people hear about my Fiesta!, they ask me "What the Hell for?" or "You have friends?!" I don't really have friends, just people who tolerate me and hang out for the free weed and Atari 2600 action (I will crush you all like grapes in Yars' Revenge.)
There's a very good reason to have a party on election day. In fact, I can't think of a better day to throw a party. Let me let you in on my secret to saving your sanity this November. After I've been out placing my vote for the candidate least likely to piss me off for four to eight years, I like to come back home and watch the results of my vote. This sitting at home and waiting for the rest of the country to get their shit together, usually makes me nervous and puts me on the edge of my seat while I spew forth obscenities unfit for the neighbors to overhear. I hate watching election results alone so the solution is to gather like minded individuals and a few that aren't (to torment and make them feel small and inferior to my political views). Now, we're half way there to a party. Throw in some music, some salsa and all the beer, liquor and wine you can handle and still recognize which states are red and which states are blue, and you're ready to go! You've got yourself an election day party. Add me to the mix and you've got a Fiesta!! Somebody yell "GET SOME!"
What really makes the election day party work is the way the booze works on you. Once you have achieved the status of "Fucking Wasted" (to be determined my myself and those around me) you are in the zone, you are ready for election results. Now, say that Bush wins and you voted for Kerry. Four more years of this George guy unacceptable and intolerable you say? Were it not for the alcohol, you're whole day would be ruined! But now, you've got a smooth buzz to deflect that deep disappointment. Get bombed and forget your woes. Problem solved and it's all good baby baby! On the other hand if you voted for the candidate that wins, you're already celebrating! No need to get the party started and crack open that bottle, you're already half way to passing out or a trip to coloring the toilet water.
As you can see, it's a WIN WIN situation no matter who you voted for. What could be better than that? Clear your caledars now and R.S.V.P. now!
Here's a picture from last year before Agnes and Ethel (the two ladies near the front) got too drunk and made a scene.
User Reviews
Submitted by Eric_Rice (user info) at 2004-10-17 14:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-05-09 11:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to be in a total drunken stupor on election day. It's gonna be awesome.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-05-09 07:33:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture did it. +2
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-09 02:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woo Hoo I rule at hard to get!
just to chill out your longings heres a reply that about 10 people told me it should have been a post
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32340#520518
that's the best you're gonna get for now Malone dear.
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-05-09 02:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus Christ Mystia, I log onto this site each night with bated breath looking for that ground breaking entry.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-09 02:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you have breakout I'm there.
And I probably still will not have posted by then.
Submitted by lush (user info) at 2004-05-09 01:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, that's my grandpa!
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-09 01:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
They take their rum in tea cups.
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-05-09 01:37:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm coming!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-05-09 01:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GET SOME!