Why Hotel Rooms Should Have Plungers (766 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.08 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Goldeneyes (View user info) at 2004-05-11 12:31:07 EDT
A while back, I was at a hotel for a conference. Not some dingy, side-of-the-road motel, but a big, fancy, expensive Hotel (capital "H") in the middle of a nice, U.S. city. It's one of those old, classy hotels with a distinguished name. The kind where every room is a "mini-suite" and the maids put fancy chocolates on your pillows. You get the picture.
It was the last day of the conference and we had a closing breakfast with a nice buffet - eggs, potatoes, bacon, ham, danish, bagels...the works.
After breakfast I went back to my room to finish packing and get ready to leave for the drive home. As often happens after a nice breakfast - especially one filled with eggs and crisp bacon - I felt the need to use the facilities. No problem, I thought. The bathroom was wonderful! Spacious, with a tub AND a shower stall, the only thing it was lacking was a bidet.
So I grab the newspaper (a free USA Today was left in the room daily) and sit down on the toilet to do my business.
You'll remember what I had for breakfast, so you can imagine I was on the toilet for a while. I thought, "Hmmm...should this be a double-flusher?" Nah...I had seen the toilet's prowess the previous day and knew it could handle the load. So, I finished my business using the oh-so-soft toilet paper, pulled up my pants, and flushed.
Well, from the title of this post, you probably know what's coming. But I'll tell you anyway.
The water rose, circling around in its familiar way, the contents of the toilet swirling about. The water stopped rising...but didn't fall. It stayed at the same level, perhaps *s..l..o..w..l..y* lowering, drip by drip. I was a bit disappointed in the toilet's inability to remove my waste, but I was undeterred! I flushed again! And, again, the water swirled about and the level rose. However, instead of stopping this time, it kept rising...and rising...and rising... The toilet stopped making that "flushing noise" but the water level was still going up!
It reached the little lip on the toilet. Only an inch or so to go before it hit the top. I frantically searched the bathroom for a plunger - behind the toilet, under the sink - but to no avail. The water was still rising.
I sprinted out of the bathroom. My bags were mostly packed already, so I threw my remaining clothes in the suitcase, slammed it shut, and headed for the door. I checked the toilet again - the water had started to crest the edge and was sliding down the sides of the porcelain god. There was nothing I could do but run. I opened the door and started to walk out...and then stopped.
Running back into the room, I put $20 for the maid on the nightstand. Taking one last look at the now overflowing toilet, and the small puddle forming around it, I walked out the door. But there was one more thing to do...
I put the "Please Clean Room" sign on the door before heading to the elevator.
User Reviews
Submitted by Fixer (user info) at 2004-05-12 04:14:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by SamIam (user info) at 2004-05-11 21:01:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
classic dude
what makes this so funny is it has happened to me too
Submitted by BalloonKnot (user info) at 2004-05-11 14:56:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-05-11 12:43:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Knot is a nasty fucker. That says alot coming from me.
You have not seen my nastyness. Biatch.
Submitted by Lucky (user info) at 2004-05-11 13:51:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor poor maid.
Submitted by Goldeneyes (user info) at 2004-05-11 13:05:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just for clarification, because there is apparently (for some reason) some confusion:
I am MALE.
Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-05-11 12:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
lovely
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-05-11 12:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
oh i see it now... the problem is that i flush *both* after dropping my dump AND after wiping my ass... so in the scenario i was picturing, the initial flush causing an overflow would result in an unwiped ass.
i guess i visualize too much while reading
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-05-11 12:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Knot is a nasty fucker. That says alot coming from me.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-05-11 12:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Splendid
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-05-11 12:39:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-05-11 12:33:58 (#)
Ranking: 1
so you didn't wipe?
nice skidmarks pal...
_______________________________________--
"So, I finished my business using the oh-so-soft toilet paper, pulled up my pants, and flushed"
so you can't read?
+2 post for leaving the $20.00 guilt tip! Excellent!
Submitted by BalloonKnot (user info) at 2004-05-11 12:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would have scooped that fucker out and ate it for you. Problem solved.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-05-11 12:38:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh... she.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-05-11 12:37:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"So, I finished my business using the oh-so-soft toilet paper, pulled up my pants, and flushed."
Yes he did.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-05-11 12:37:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A woman admitting to overflowing a toilet while taking a shit... +2 post if I've ever seen one.
Really, I would have wiped first, unless you brought Kool Mang along for the trip.
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-05-11 12:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
so you didn't wipe?
nice skidmarks pal...