Appendence fo your thoughts... (638 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rogue - (View user info) at 2004-05-14 04:27:35 EDT
strange title... i know. couldn't think of another word...
We have all had our moments, and although we regret to admit it, we have often caught ourselves in the middle of waving 'Goodbye", instead of 'Hello' when answering the phone. But, yes, there are just some people who are really absolutely, positively without a doubt:
S T I P U D !
One thing millions of people make when it comes to stupid people is that they are at fault, that there is no reason that anyone with half a brain could commits such disastrous deeds. But stupidity itself, unknown to most is actually a common virus, known as 'Stupidios Syndrome'.
Although blonds are often thought to be the main cause of stupidity, this virus has been known to infect even the darkest of hair colour. How long exactly stupidity has infected people is yet to be released, but there is evidence, however, leading to prove that the original carriers of this embarrassing virus were, in fact, brunettes. Unthinkable as it may seem, Brunettes have been liked to major outbreaks of stupidity during the 14th and 15th centuries, and have over the years grown immunity to their own virus, no longer being infected by it.
Although redheads, almond, raven, etc, are also infected, blonds are quite possibly the most vulnerable to this virus. The reason being is unclear, and is a subject that is argued among even the most respectable of philosophers, scientists, and psychiatrist. Leading Philosopher, Andrew Mirkz, believes the vulnerableness of blonds against this virus is due to mostly to the fact that blonds held out longer against this virus, and when they were finally infected, had developed little immunity.
But this theory was struck down by one of our top laboratory scientists Gilbert Davis, who has come up with his own conclusion:
(Translated for your convenience)
"The cause of this virus, Stupidios Syndrome, is due mainly to a defect within the hair DNA that results in a malfunction within the immune system....." and so on.
This conclusion, however scientific it may seem, sparked an argument between the two top men, and when asked which conclusion he preferred, psychiatrist Ronald Happs, spoke gently,
"How do YOU feel about that?"
Is there a cure for Stupidios? Not as of yet, but research into the subject has proven, that if the virus is detected in its early stages, before it has had a chance to evolve, then it can be treated with two years of treatment, and a third in therapy. This might sound expensive to the average person, but with a doctor's certificate, proving this virus, then the government has agreed to pay up to 7% of treatment costs.
It's hard detecting a possible 'idiot' in its early stages, before it evolves, causing cases like leaving children in the car on a hot day for several hours, avoiding marriage for fear of not being able to get the wedding ring over her head, down her neck and arm, and onto her second finger without causing any physical damage, or attempting to convince a police man that you was not actually driving with a burned out headlight, but that he had merely had his left eye closed.
But you can look out for signs of early stupidity such as:
- Constantly losing grip of your bow when playing the piano.
- Waving 'Goodbye", instead of 'Hello' when answering the phone.
- You get a ticket for speeding and claim you didn't know you were because you can't count that high...
- You call up Phone Psychics so you can ask them why they let the phone ring.
- Putting a higher antennae on you mail box in order to receive mail from further away.
- Fretting over the fact that they never mention a hurricanes last name.
- Having trouble picking your shadow out of a crowd
- You put a `Buy American' sticker on your Toyota.
- You body build and subscribe to Playgirl so you can look at the future you.
- Worrying about a sore that won't heal, that is actually a natural body opening
- People repeat things they say twice to you, because you look too stupid to have understood it the first time...
- People repeat things they say twice to you, because you look too stupid to have understood it the first time...
"Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience."
User Reviews
Submitted by Luckystar (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:14:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm blonde, but at least i can spell 'for'
Krystal Has Spoken
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-05-14 07:57:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ok then, Just wanted to check first. :o)
+1 for you. (made me smile)
Submitted by Socially_Distorted (user info) at 2004-05-14 07:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes, i did.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-05-14 07:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did you mean to type "S T I P U D"?
Submitted by Socially_Distorted (user info) at 2004-05-14 05:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes...
Im a bit tipsy-drunk... which explains alot...
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-14 05:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
errr... what?
its different from all the other stupid people rant
appendence for your thoughts?
a .. penny for your thoughts... am i right?
Submitted by Socially_Distorted (user info) at 2004-05-14 04:29:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wrote this ages ago, in english class...
'probally why its so stupid...