What is the strangest thing you ever stole? (655 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.96 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rubixxcube (View user info) at 2004-05-14 11:56:20 EDT
I walk into wawa last night to use the ATM on my way out. As I am waiting to use the ATM I notice a locked display case. The contents of this display case are pretty generic. Some of the items include Tampons, maxi-pads, batteries, pepto bismol, band-aids, aspirin, and other non-valuable cheap items. This has ruined my night tremendously, cause you know me and my friends had planned to come back later and steal some tampons, band-aids and pepto bismol from wawa while one of us distracted the employees. I mean come on, has this really become so much of a problem that there is a need to lock these items in a display case. Many of which cost less then $5.
Wawa is not the only place that has taken similar steps. I have noticed lately that at several convenience stores and pharmacies that very normal items are locked away. Just recently I was in CVS and had to go get an employee to unlock the display that held my razor blades. In some public restrooms, (even in corporate offices) the toilet paper holder is locked, sometimes this is annoying as you need to get to the next roll but due to the locking mechanism this is not possible, then you have to go the other stall or ask for help, things i don't want to do while dropping the kids off at the pool...... If I need toilet paper for the house I stop at the store and buy some, I don't go to a public restroom and steal it. Do people REALLY steal toilet paper from public restrooms? Gas stations and other establishments sometimes lock the bathrooms. Why do i have to get a key to use the bathroom, do you keep money hidden in there as well, are there bodies, are you keeping a log of bathroom users?
I remember when I was growing up there were times when we would steal all kinds of stuff from 7-11 and wawa. My friends and I would all go in, steal some stuff them go behind the store and show each other what we got. It usually went something like this.
"Hey man, I got 2 slim jims, a snickers bar, big league chew(remember that stuff, I used to love that) a deck of cards and cupcakes."
And we would pool all of our junk food and loot to share, not necesarrily because we didn't have the money just because it was something 12 year old kids did, steal junk food and knick knacks from these stores.
No kid ever came outside and was like.
"Look at all the cool stuff I got, 2 packs of tampons, batteries, band-aids in case we get hurt, some razors for when we can shave in 4 years and pepto bismol in case all the candy you stole makes us sick"
I would have looked at this kid like he had 4 heads.
When you get older you graduate to stores at the mall and some stuff you can actually use. I had this one friend who would leave the mall with several CDs at a time, one time I even saw him take a 24 inch black light, put it down his pant leg and walk out of the store limping, it was great. I knew some girls that occasionally stole makeup and sometimes clothes. But these are all normal things that teenagers steal.
This story however is the strangest I have ever seen in terms of stealing. One night a few years ago my friend and I are at dunkin donuts at about 2 in the morning, the lone employee is waiting on us and getting our order together, we were distracting him for the would be thieves and didn't even know it. While this is happening we see 2 kids run out of the bathroom carrying a backpack together, each one supporting a side of it, and then bolt out the side door. I ask my friend what the hell that was all about and ponder what in the world would one want to steal from a dunkin donuts bathroom. I decide to investigate. I enter the bathroom and discover the towel dispenser is missing, all that remains is a few bolts on the wall that held it on. I try and go through the risk reward possibilities. When we stole candy and CDs growing up we were going for a sugar fix or for some new music we wanted and risk maybe having to give the item back, a threat to call the cops to scare us a little or at worst a minor juvenille shoplifting charge, a slap on the wrist. I could not for the life of me think of the "big payoff" for stealing a towel dispenser. Were they opening there own Dunkin donuts and this was the last item they needed? Was it there mother's birthday? Was it some kind of gang initiation? I just didn't get it.
I can't think of anything out of the real ordinary that I stole, not that my friends and I were cleptomaniancs or anything, just normal teenagers acting out. How about the rest of you though, i'm sure some of you delinquents have stolen some bizarre things growing up or maybe even recently, if so what was it?
User Reviews
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-12 16:31:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a good girl.
Submitted by Sacrew (user info) at 2004-05-14 19:22:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, shit..... someone already said that......damn.
Submitted by Sacrew (user info) at 2004-05-14 19:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your mother's virginity.
Submitted by fionavar (user info) at 2004-05-14 19:08:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't personally steal it, but this one I believe is the winner:
I used to work as an accountant for a retail dinnerware company. Every now and then we would run a contest, "Guess the number of cups of tea this teapot holds". The person with the closest guess would receive a dinnerware set for 8.
It was a gigantic fucking teapot. It held well over a thousand cups of tea. It was about 6 feet high, made out of porcellain, weighing in at over 100 lbs.
Someone stole it. Somehow. The store called me to report it missing. Imagine my face.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-05-14 18:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This deserves a better rating
Submitted by Wills at 2004-05-14 16:04:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I attempted to steal a metal Corona table from a Taco Cabana at 3 in the morning (After an eventful evening of Binge Drinking). As I was placing it in the back of my explorer I had a run-in with the Manager (A ghettofied Crackhead-Asshat), long story short I gave him my Java Book from Comp Sci and the table to shut him up.
I still want that table...
Submitted by jcricket (user info) at 2004-05-14 14:59:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i stole the ninja turtle "slash" from a k-mart when i was a little kid.
i craftily hid it in my underwear.
unfortunately, the cameras and the security guard weren't fooled.
my dad and all of my little cousins and siblings were also in the store and they all filed into the security office to watch the tape of me stealing.
hilarity ensued...
i've never stolen since then...
*sniff
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-05-14 14:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
when I had just gotten married we didn't have any money and my wife was really sick so I stole some cold medicine. that was the first (and so far only) time I ever stole something from a store... I used to steal money from my parents and their friends to buy drugs when I was a teen, but never anything from a store.
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-05-14 14:05:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2004-05-14 13:42:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
..............................http://www.ubersite.com/m/32962...............................
GOD DAMMIT HAVEN'T YOU LINKED THAT THING ENOUGH???????????????????????????
(+2 for me - all caps)
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-14 13:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for exposing all the thieves on Über.
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2004-05-14 13:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:15:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
i stole your mom's virginity.
+2 for that!
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Wait a minute there, slick. She told me I was her first. I guess you beat me to the old proverbial punch. It does make one wonder why she was still so tight when I hit it. Hmmmm? I ran into the old bag last week and snapped this picture. http://www.ubersite.com/m/32962 She must have her meat-curtains rolled up and tucked in.
BTW: I once stole some concrete lions from a gravesite and placed them in my ex-girlfriend's parent's front lawn. It needed a bit of sprucing up. From what I gathered, they didn't apreciate my friendly gesture.
Submitted by Rokinroj (user info) at 2004-05-14 13:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A bakers rack full of doughnuts from Winchells
Rokinroj
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-05-14 13:05:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I sign from behind the counter in a fast food restaurant that I saw and found hilarious whilst tripping. It was aluminium, and had "SCUTTLE TRAY" engraved on it in big black anodized letters. So much did I covet it that I leapt over the counter whilst the server had gone out back to get more polystyrene cartons, pulled it off the wall and ran off into the night without my order, cackling like a maniac.
Submitted by supervtek (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
trash bags. A whole roll of them.
Submitted by lawryde (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:48:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I stole a big ass sign from an americinn that said "We pay you to sleep here"
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Souls... so many souls.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:40:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When we were younger we did the lawn gnome thing. After a few outings, we had 30 or so of them. Then we lined them up and blasted them with a shotgun.
The ultimate thing that we did was steal a construction site. Yes, a construction site. There was work being done on the highway by or houses, and we all had trucks and new drivers licenses. We loaded all of the "ROAD CONSTRUCTION 1000 FEET" signs, complete with blinky lights, all of the traffic barrels, and all of the sawhorses with the blinky lights into the back of our trucks. There were four of us, two pickups, a Blazer, and I had my trusty '75 Ramcharger. We loaded everything up in the middle of the night, and then moved it two miles up the highway and set it back up similar to the original layout. It made the local papers.
Submitted by Staccers (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The internal balls from mice at my Universitys computer room and library. I notched up, like, 50. They went straight in the bin when i got home.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A few years ago in my last year of high school, six of us got a big truck and grabbed every lawn gnome we could find. I think by the end of the night we had about 15 of them, along with a bunch of other lawn crap. There were some flamingos (not that many though), a few of those ceramic frogs-on-rocks and a metallic cat thing. For some reason, we thought it would be a great idea to grab some guy's strawberry plants too. Those were some goooood berries...
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:20:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
one time i stole a ceramic lawn gnome off someones porch. he was just so cute
he had a pipe and his eyes were closed he looked like a little stoner.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:19:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
alt keys
Submitted by FearBenzene (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dominos heat wave bag yesterday.
Seriously
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i stole your mom's virginity.
+2 for that!
Submitted by circle_of_willis (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:12:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Right now magical invisible torso man is prolly reading this one and thinking "what a bunch of amateurs"
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I stole $20 and an unopened bottle of whiskey that I found on a dead guy. I fugured it wasn't stealing - he was dead! The bottle was in his dresser, but the $20 was in his pocket - does that constitute interfering with remains?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:02:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
We stole rabbits from my best friend's uncle. He had like 200+ on his farm. We would put them in mailboxes to suprise people in the morning.
Then we would we head to a camping site near our homes and send loud [stolen] fireworks over the trailers to wake up tourists.
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know a guy who over the past couple of months has gathered a collection of about 15 or so bowling balls taken from the alley across the road.
Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was not re-splendindt.
You just stole several minutes of my life.
But, I've stolen everything from 5 cent candy to $400 cd players(woohoo for best buy maintenance entrance).
Heh also I have a good story about how I got a 52' TV for "free".