I Want to Cum on Her Face (5012 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -1.11 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Brown Eye (View user info) at 2004-05-14 19:13:31 EDT
I do.
User Reviews
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-07-10 03:25:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"decent"
Submitted by Papercuts (user info) at 2005-07-06 00:02:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, not bad. Butt* what does this have to do with AnalMadness '05? http://www.ubersite.com/m/70011
*nooch!
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-07-05 23:46:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ban this alter who has pushed a fair few people off Best Ever page.
Submitted by mxc_jwebber (user info) at 2005-07-05 20:44:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BOO YOU SUCK!!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-07-05 20:23:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/39226
Yet another post knocked off of best ever because of this fuckfairy.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-07-05 20:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm glad I don't have a perfect post for you to ruin.
You really seem like either A) a worthless alter or b) a worthless piece of shit.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-07-04 05:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you, thorpe.
I guess I didn't need to be second on the Best Ever page anyhow. My ego was about to get out of control. You saved me b_e_g.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-27 09:09:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by your_brown_eyed_girl (user info) at 2004-05-19 11:21:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
TO ALL:
This is the only thing I will ever post.
Its lack of substance is a reflection of what it truly is.. I put it up for the sole purpose of people being able to take out their frustrations on me. This may seem odd, but allow me to explain.
As I have explained elsewhere, I refuse to give out a +2 rating because there is no such thing as the perfect post. Razor's "for I have tasted the fruit" is the closest thing to a pure +2 that I have ever read on this site and I know you all can say that you probably have never scribed anything that has come even remotely close to the skill and effort brought forth in that piece.
Also, I highly doubt that particular post will stand forever to be the standard by which I deem to be worthy of a perfect rating.... something better will always come along.
Its for that reason that I refuse to give posts that are even close to a +2 a rating. I don't want to ruin what it is worth.
However, there are a lot of terrible, rotten, fetid piles of garbage on this site that have artifically inflated ratings due to the... complex social aspects of this community. I come to this site because it is packed with good stuff, but I feel that all the ass kissing and bullshit is ruining it for me, so I am doing what I feel is necessary to remedy it.
I rate with honesty.
To me, I honestly feel like no post will ever earn a +2 out of me, and therefore I will always rate between -2 and +1 ...
Already, this has ticked people off, and if you care to learn about who its pissed off, all you have to do is look at the responses on this post.
So go ahead, -2 this into oblivion if it makes you feel better. Nothing you say will make me change my mind about how I rate.
Thank you.
------------------------------------
TO YOUR_BROWN_EYED_GIRL:
Bullshit. You're bored, so you ruin ratings with an alter.
Thank you.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-25 02:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
die fucker
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2004-12-29 19:02:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this shit has 2500 hits. WTf
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-12-29 18:54:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2004-12-14 03:40:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2die
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2004-12-04 20:41:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-08-23 11:37:26 (#)
Ranking: 1
fetish
---
I just shat myself.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-12-03 19:37:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Blasphemy? Hell yes! God Is Living Vicariously Through Donkey (783 hits)
Category: Humor
Rating: 1.91 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (View all ratings)
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (View user info) at 2004-11-09 11:47:07
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some people are born to be mischievous. Some are born to be a pain in the ass. Some are just born to be plain evil. I was born to be something special. Not short bus special, you fucking tools, one in a gagillion special.
I was put on this Earth for God to live vicariously through me so he could experience the joy of hijinks and ecstasy of a well placed insult. You see people, God gets bored with being good all the time. Being pure sucks. You know it, I know it, and God sure as hell knows it. But what do you do when you are an intangible being who is revered for being the creator of life? Get a lackey to do your misdeeds for you.
"But Donkey, how do we know you aren't lying and are just another miscreant amongst us?"
Simple, because if you ask me that question again, I'll fucking smite you, bitch.
I have the divine gift, as I like to call it. I can cause chaos, personal injury, or even death in some cases but I'm always forgiven the next day and the slate is wiped clean. Grandparents love me, even though I am crass and I knock up their granddaughters and skip town. Kinda like what God did to Mary. He was all, "Haha bitch, you is knocked the fuck up and you can't do nothin' about it. Recognize." You heard it hear first, God was the first deadbeat dad. Coincidently, he is also the best, because he's never been called out until just now. I'll give you a moment to wrap your heads around that.
Moment over.
"I dunno Donkey, it's a little farfetched for me."
That because you are a closed minded naysayer, and the streets will flow with the blood of the nonbelievers. Or raspberry jello, which is much more delicious.
Just this passed Saturday at my friends wedding, I gave God a front row seat to some chicanery. Rather dubiously, I had taped the words, "HELP ME" in bright red duct tape to the bottom of the groom's shoes before the ceremony. At the part where they kneel in prayer, the whole church would see it and have a good chuckle. I swear on the shallow grave of genocide victims that when the priest said, "You may kneel," that the sun broke from between the clouds and shone through the stained glass window letting me know that God thought that was a good one.
A few months ago, I had made it my goal to send a Mormon guy to hell. God doesn't like made up religions, so he gave me the go ahead to fuck with this holier than thou bastard. Spending a year in the desert with an overzealous Mormon in your midst is like attending the circus, you know the clowns are people but you still want to punch them in the throat anyway. He'd always say that I was going to hell for looking at porn and masturbating and stuff. Little does he know that by being an instrument of God, I get a free pass into heaven and all the hot angel tail I can handle. So one day I got the idea to stand above his cot with my Hustler open to some DVDA (double vaginal, double anal) and wake his ass up. Bleary eyed and whimpering, he could not look away from the magical ass held in the sticky pages of my magazine. I pronounced loudly that he was now going to hell, so why not lighten up a bit. It was a small victory for me and a huge set back to Mormons everywhere. Later on, God hit me with my own personal sandstorm as a pat on the back.
"Gee whiz, Donkey. Don't you have any super powers?"
Funny you should ask that.....
No. I don't have any super powers, DICK. But I do have the power to rock faces with my street side sermons about the benefits of pre marital sex and the improved quality of life if everyone would pass a joint around every once in a while. Think about it. Was God married to Mary before he knocked her ass up? Hell no. In fact, Mary didn't even know God existed until then. He was just some nerd who got pissed off and was all, "I'll show them all! I CAN GET LAID! JUST WATCH ME!"
The next time you see someone being a dick or committing some type of douchebaggery, rest assured that they are not funny and God frowns upon them. I am the true vessel for his shenanigans and only I have the divine gift. All others are just imitators and poor ones at that. Those who claim to be possessed by God are lying. God cannot posses people and make them do bad things, he can only watch. We are all created in his image and all that garbage, but I'm the closest one to the real God, fuckers.
There can be only one Donkey and I'm pretty sure I meet the requirements.
Submitted by honeycake (user info) at 2004-08-23 18:33:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-08-23 12:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And you said I write bad? Why don't YOU try for some substance? Instead, you'd rather hide behind a user name and one shit post because you are so much better than I.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-08-23 11:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
fetish
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-08-20 19:43:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Brown eyed thats why a definition is given with it... something can be a "Kicker of all ass" (the prerequisite for +2) without being perfect. Your approach is inappropriate to a rating system limeted to a mere 5 options.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2004-08-20 19:30:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wasn't gonna rate this guy until I read this in the comments.
"However, there are a lot of terrible, rotten, fetid piles of garbage on this site that have artifically inflated ratings due to the... complex social aspects of this community. I come to this site because it is packed with good stuff, but I feel that all the ass kissing and bullshit is ruining it for me, so I am doing what I feel is necessary to remedy it."
You are too fucking right, pal. Well said. Here's yer +2 from Jack.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-08-20 19:22:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2004-08-20 19:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I thought I told you to put away that gross of Hostess treats and hit the gym, you fucking lardass.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-06-09 18:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh really?
Submitted by your_brown_eyed_girl (user info) at 2004-06-09 18:05:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Eat my ass with marshmallow fluff, Random Bitch.
I don't spam, I just reply. Replying with a 0 will still effect ratings, you tool.
Take your righteousness elsewhere
Submitted by Random Bitch at 2004-06-06 23:41:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
More like the odd, misconstrued morals weirdo of the site. You keep spamming peoples posts with negatives. In case you didn't know, it's general etiquette to give each post one rating, and the other times you respond on it, a 0...
And also, +2 aren't for 'perfect' posts... they're for really good posts. Kicker of all ass does not literally mean that... it just means that the post 'kicks ass.' It doesn't have to be perfect, it just should be something you really enjoyed.
Submitted by your_brown_eyed_girl (user info) at 2004-05-20 13:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am the essence of Uber
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-05-20 00:56:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
who are you?
Submitted by your_brown_eyed_girl (user info) at 2004-05-19 11:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TO ALL:
This is the only thing I will ever post.
Its lack of substance is a reflection of what it truly is.. I put it up for the sole purpose of people being able to take out their frustrations on me. This may seem odd, but allow me to explain.
As I have explained elsewhere, I refuse to give out a +2 rating because there is no such thing as the perfect post. Razor's "for I have tasted the fruit" is the closest thing to a pure +2 that I have ever read on this site and I know you all can say that you probably have never scribed anything that has come even remotely close to the skill and effort brought forth in that piece.
Also, I highly doubt that particular post will stand forever to be the standard by which I deem to be worthy of a perfect rating.... something better will always come along.
Its for that reason that I refuse to give posts that are even close to a +2 a rating. I don't want to ruin what it is worth.
However, there are a lot of terrible, rotten, fetid piles of garbage on this site that have artifically inflated ratings due to the... complex social aspects of this community. I come to this site because it is packed with good stuff, but I feel that all the ass kissing and bullshit is ruining it for me, so I am doing what I feel is necessary to remedy it.
I rate with honesty.
To me, I honestly feel like no post will ever earn a +2 out of me, and therefore I will always rate between -2 and +1 ...
Already, this has ticked people off, and if you care to learn about who its pissed off, all you have to do is look at the responses on this post.
So go ahead, -2 this into oblivion if it makes you feel better. Nothing you say will make me change my mind about how I rate.
Thank you.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-05-17 16:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
keep spamming. see if you don't get banned from this site. little bitch.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-05-15 14:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
cunt
Submitted by CystMaster (user info) at 2004-05-15 13:25:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Worst first post ever.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-05-15 13:17:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-15 01:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2004-05-15 00:41:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Cute.
The least you could do is put a picture up, or some clever story that ties into the title. But then again, no, I think just the two words works better than any sort of literary talent you could have expressed.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-05-14 21:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-05-14 20:35:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
me too
Submitted by your_brown_eyed_girl (user info) at 2004-05-14 19:36:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Here is your picture, Yes.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/33112
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-05-14 19:30:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
people like you want to do it, people like me DO do it.
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-05-14 19:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why?..............because think about it......it ends up with you just basically "jerking off"...........I prefer the deep satisfaction of knowing I have just put some baby batter so deep inside her that I'll be with her ..............FOREVEEEEEEER.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-05-14 19:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no pic? die, you cum slurping baby-raper.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-05-14 19:16:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it
gas? It's gas, isn't it?
-- Homer Simpson
Fear of Flying
Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-05-14 19:13:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who, your mom?