Comedic Genius (1549 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.36 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by WiKi <wikilikewhoa.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-05-15 09:20:29 EDT
Many (if not all) of you have come to realize that I have a slight, somewhat unhealthy obsession with the god known as Sideburns..Burnsy..Justin..Bobo the wondermunkey..
What you have FAILED to realize is that he brings this upon himself! He is the EPITOME of the perfect male.
Fact #1: He's a family man.
We've all read the infamous Old Home Movies posts. Any man that can look at his mommy's boobies (http://www.ubersite.com/m/25125), watch his auntie strip (http://www.ubersite.com/m/25239), revel in the fact that his parents are swingers (http://www.ubersite.com/m/25335), and tell these stories to the world (http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?user_id=4105), is a man to take home to the 'rents.
Fact #2: He can stick up for himself.
How many "manly men" do you know that will smack a kid? (http://www.ubersite.com/m/31274) I'm willing to bet that the number isn't anywhere above one. That one is Sideburns. Because he is a man that will step up to the challenge. Oh yeah, and this (http://www.ubersite.com/m/27662), too. That was pretty sweet.
Fact #3: He knows how to get the ladies.
(http://www.ubersite.com/m/26653) Put some spinners on that mother and you're ready to ROLL. Pimpin' it out, lookin' for some fly honeys. He knows how to work it. Ride with him and the females will throw their panties in your general direction!
Fact #4: Lots of people agree that Justy is, in fact, a pimp.
----------------------------
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-02-15 16:37:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Awww! You little pimp daddy!
----------------------------
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-02-15 22:00:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Playa from day one, fo real.
----------------------------
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-02-04 01:58:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
JUSTIN! *pant like a puppy*
----------------------------
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-02-04 08:52:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
You ARE sexy...
Sexy like a fox!
Oh wait.... that's not right....
----------------------------
..that's not "lots of people", but I'm lazy and tired. Running on no sleep here, give me a break.
and last, but certainly not least..
Fact #5: Justy is in the know with JESUS. (http://www.ubersite.com/m/31343)
Honestly, can it get any better than that? I consider myself a follower of The Sideburns, which MUST put me somewhere high on the Social Ladder of Heaven.
Following Justin = Not Going To Hell
User Reviews
Submitted by nakedguitarist (user info) at 2004-09-19 03:00:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, i'd only read a couple of his posts but the musings of a guy from a fairly disturbing family are class. cheers
Submitted by floridastate311 (user info) at 2004-07-23 04:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SHIT
Submitted by Lynne (user info) at 2004-07-10 16:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WiKi, I didn't have time to read the post, but i just wanted to say that you are a goddess, too.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-07-08 18:18:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow. Now this post seems a bit.. out of place
Or something.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-06-03 18:59:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Me, too ;)
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-06-03 18:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
burns rocks. i'd suck his cock any day of the week.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-06-03 18:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you, Burnsie! :D
<3
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-06-03 18:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Username: WiKi
User ID: 3451
Number Of Posts: 9
Number Of Reviews You've Written: 802
Number Of Times Your Posts Have Been Reviewed: 185
Total Hits You've Received: 3093
Average Score For Your Posts: 0.98
Total Words Written (approx): 6203
Words Per Post (approx): 689.2222
Top Twenty Fans:
Name: User ID Av. Rating Tot. Rating Review Count
Sideburns 4105 2 12 6
creep_firebombing 5022 2 8 4
Zod 3316 2 6 3
Insanethemind 1111 2 6 3
sublime 1617 2 6 3
shitfuck 6479 2 4 2
Captain_Foamy 7263 2 4 2
Val 8590 2 4 2
Disektor 7343 2 4 2
slowlyrotting 7043 2 4 2
KoolMang 3959 2 4 2
Falco 4854 2 4 2
SixPk2Go 7800 2 4 2
Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar 1091 2 4 2
hollygolitely 5799 2 2 1
Fixer 8333 2 2 1
layney 5387 2 2 1
Method 2555 2 2 1
NerfHerder 4372 2 2 1
lojope 7806 2 2 1
Top Twenty Loathers:
Name: User ID Av. Rating Tot. Rating Review Count
FleetEnemaBadass 7267 -2 -26 13
ubersucks 4303 -2 -2 1
magairle_an_mor 8148 -2 -2 1
drink_DDT 877 -2 -2 1
Scientifik 668 -2 -2 1
Cassiopeia 2560 -2 -2 1
Sounsexy00 891 -2 -2 1
hamilton 3043 -2 -2 1
Hadooken 981 -2 -2 1
TonyMontana 5744 -2 -2 1
bargled 2359 -1 -1 1
modusjoe 6095 -1 -1 1
Totally_useless 7784 -1 -1 1
Tom 1129 -.6666667 -2 3
Captain_MotherFucking_Foamy7709 0 0 2
Zeccs 3680 0 0 1
Fabish 679 0 0 1
Spiral_Abraxis 7568 0 0 1
transcendent 3094 0 0 1
Confusion 3435 0 0 1
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2004-06-01 20:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are hilarious...........
and so is he...........
Match made in heaven!
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-05-27 19:47:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Weird, I can't believe I forgot to rate this.
Have a 2.
<3
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-05-26 18:59:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha
Rock the fuck on
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-26 01:15:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to be Wiki's panties for a day.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-05-19 01:44:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Foamy!
I am nobody's bitch, my friend.
I'm a lady, and should be treated as one!
:)
but I sure do love that 'Burns
Submitted by Captain_Foamy (user info) at 2004-05-19 00:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sideburns took my bitch! But I took his moms ass cherry in while he was at CCD. I cummed in your baptism water. Rock your cubes! http://www.geocities.com/captain_foamy
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-05-16 19:20:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you :D
<33
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-05-16 06:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I must've skipped over this post. Here's a plus 2 that I haven't given it yet.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-05-16 05:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oOo.. I would just like to say..
It's official.
As of 3.2 seconds ago.
That is all.
Oh, and... YAY!!!
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-05-16 05:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
another plus 2 because... well just because.
baby <33
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-05-16 04:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i love socially_distorted!
..did you mean in a post? Hmm.
And I wuv wu, too, Burnsy :D
Submitted by Socially_Distorted (user info) at 2004-05-16 02:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
this could almost be about me..
except i'm female, and with a completely different personality... and lifestyle...
just write, i love socially_distorted, ok?
anyone...?
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-05-16 00:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw babe, I was only joking when I suggested this.
I wuv wu.
Submitted by Fixer (user info) at 2004-05-16 00:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-05-16 00:06:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eh..I needed to make a somewhat "real" post.. and this was the only subject I could think of..
And no, Zod.. we'll call you 3way someday and you'll see that we're different people.
Wiki = female
Sideburns = male
But you're right. Justin is awesome.
And everyone else is right, too.. this is way too much ass-kissing..no more, Justin!
Submitted by layney (user info) at 2004-05-15 21:04:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wiki backwards = ikiw, relevance of that fact= ?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-05-15 20:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sideburns is a homosexual. Heres the proof.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/31641
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2004-05-15 20:36:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I admit, I clicked this because I thought it was about me. =(
Still waiting for my first hate and/or love post.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-05-15 20:35:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Too much ass-kissing.
This +2 is for Sideburns, and not necessarily this post.
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-05-15 20:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm beginning to think that you and justin are one and the same....
hehehehe
...oh, and if you really are 2 different people, then yeah, Justin is awesome.
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2004-05-15 16:57:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't find sideburns all that charming or funny, but then again, i'm not a female, nor do i have any social skills.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-05-15 16:31:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Viv, shitfuck, lojope, and Jan: thanks :) Nuttin but love..
Insane: sorry! :D
Burnsy: I'll be on later to chitty chitty chat chat. Be here, or be.. square..
Yeah. Square.
Later.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-05-15 11:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm jealous.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-15 10:54:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehe. Ohhhh mercy.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-05-15 10:41:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"We've all read the infamous Old Home Movies posts."
I haven't, but I've got another 40 years to get around to it.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-05-15 10:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I *heart* Sideburns +1
I *heart* Wiki +1
+2 for you!
Submitted by ubersucks (user info) at 2004-05-15 09:51:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
omgwtflolrof!!¬11 justin is my hero!!!111
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-15 09:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not a fan of sideburnt or whatever, but this did make me laugh...
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-15 09:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We all wuv justin.