Friends really can be your worst enemies. (NSFW) (1034 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sharpie <tiny-weiner.at.hugeballs.com> (View user info) at 2004-05-16 13:38:16 EDT
Oh Uber,
I have had the fortune to have a group of friends that rarely do something so foul so evil that you must shrug off the friendship that you once had and start dishing out the hatin'. This is one of those instances.
My day started out just fine, for a thursday it was actually pretty fuckin' rad. I had no idea it would end so badly. We were planning this raucus party* to be had on later this evening since we all (at least the ones with jobs) had the day off. There were supposed to be about 8 people in attendance and much alcohol was to be injested. Good Times.
The party** starts to pick up speed about 8:00 and by 9:30 (or there about, I really did not have a fucking clue as to any concept of time) I was fucked up***, so I begin making my rounds. When I get to a particularly intoxicated friend of mine he tries to whip his peepee out as I am giving him the "man your one of the coolest motherfuckers I know" speech. I let him know in no uncertain terms that I have absolutely no fucking desire to see his dick and/or balls tonight or any night, big fucking mistake. He says nothing and I merely shrug it off, as this will be the stuff that future running jokes are made of I try not to play it out to much, big fucking mistake # 2.
As the drinking winds down and the party comes to a close I find a nice couch to crash on. As I am fighting "the spins" I must once again find that magic position that makes the world stop rotating on its hateful axis for me. Then I pass out.
The next part of the story comes from tidbits of information I have been able to gather by questioning all of my friends who can remember what came next (no pun intended, you'll see.)
Just after I passed out, the friend that was trying to show me his balls came back in the house from the garage and finds me happily sleeping. He decides that my reaction to his attempted exhibition of nuts was a little over the top and it is now time to give a little payback (drunk logic).
It just so happens that a digital camera was sitting on the coffee table next to the couch I was sleeping on and the son of a bitch decided to make the best use of my sleeping face as possible.
I will let you guys title the picture.
oh, yeah. this was fiction.
User Reviews
Submitted by Systematicevil (user info) at 2004-05-17 22:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
those look just like my ballz
Submitted by Arla (user info) at 2004-05-17 22:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sharpie (user info) at 2004-05-16 18:30:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Remember boys and girls... fiction.
This did not happen to me. That is not me in the picture. I would have beat the fuck outta the owner of those nuts.
-adam
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-05-16 18:04:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Obviously, Gassy doesn't know what the hell she's talking about. If she did, she would know the difference between a tea-bagging and a Roman Helmet.
I know, because I did both to her mom, and 5 year old son.
What?
Submitted by GassyGirl72 (user info) at 2004-05-16 17:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tea Bag!
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-05-16 16:54:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"I've heard of quarterbacks getting sacked, but this is just too much."
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-05-16 15:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Mr. Sandman was not quite what Billy expected."
Submitted by DenDen (user info) at 2004-05-16 14:27:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup! He is an asshole!
I would just get him back by finding a piccie of his lovely face and as much of his bod as possible, doctoring it up, e-mailing it to everyone that you know mutually, posting on the internet and calling it "good."
It is a really lame response, but doctoring the photo might turn out to be amusing and might ease a little of the pain that you are feeling just now.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-05-16 14:21:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your friend is gay.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-05-16 14:15:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Caption: Hey! Who's balls do I have to suck to get some service over here?
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-05-16 14:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Caption: Ever since 9/11, the difficulties of getting a US Visa had increased tremendously.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-05-16 14:14:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hahahaha! That's the sort of stuff your friends do.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-05-16 14:00:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Those is one seriously/freshly shorn BOZACK, beyotch.
Creepy.
Werd.
Submitted by sharpie (user info) at 2004-05-16 13:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I got this picture email to me this morning, so I thought I would write a litte story to go with it. I thought it was funny.
-adam
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-16 13:41:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
EWWWW! UR GHEY! U HAVE BALLZ ON UR FACE!
does anyone else think it's weird that this guy shaves his junk, but has the hairiest legs you've ever seen?