Kill the Poor (1058 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.13 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <g.e.de-stacpoole.at.durham.ac.uk> (View user info) at 2004-05-17 04:34:02 EDT
The sun came out today. Predictably the beer-guts came out too. It seems that as soon as we get a modicum of sun and heat, the locals immediately take off their shirts, and start sweating it out. Displaying to the world their beer-gut and considerable amount of cheap and badly-drawn tattoos. The tattoos vary from the classic 'MUTHAR' on a scroll in front of a heart; to their name on the nape of their neck (I guess it's handy for the police to identify the chap when he's running away, having mugged, beaten and raped a grandmother/pregnant woman) or the ever-tasteful M.U.F.C. on their cuff.
I go to Durham University, which is suitably northern, considering I have been brought up in Shropshire - middle England. The home of the WI and grass-roots conservatives. My first experience of the northern beast was coming off the train station to be greeted by broken bottles, tramps, dreary concrete buildings and the affectionate traditional greeting, 'Southern Cunt' from someone getting on the train who had bumped into my bag.
It seems to me that the northern people act like simple beasts. They proudly display their immense stomachs (which is the product of their families welfare checks been spent in the pub) which have scrawled on them hideous tattoos, which they bear like battle-scars.
Where here, in the north of England, if you:
1) Are desperately overweight,
2) Are feral,
3) Are balding,
4) Own a modified (and I use that term loosely) Vauxhall Nova,
5) Have rotting teeth,
6) Have a collection of tattoos as drawn by 'dodgy Gav',
7) Own the cheapest collection of jewellery (such as Sovereign rings, gold chains, Argos 'Faux Gold' that say 'DAD'),
8) Own the worst imitation Burberry cap in existence,
9) Have a penchant for beating up people who are either younger or weaker... or women
- Then you are highly desirable, will be looked up to by your social circle and will father many children... which then you will be beat them until they turn into sociopaths that will continue the trend.
I wouldn't class myself as elitist/snobbish... in fact I consider myself a bit of a Fabian. But there are groups of society which should be dealt with, Gulag style.
For example, I was cycling back to my house (which I share with student friends) and this 7 year old starts swearing at me from the street. Seriously. Seven years old. I looked at him quizzically, and he retorted in his dulcet, lyrical tones,
Guttersnipe: 'Oo tha fuck d'ya think yeer lurkin at man? Y'bastaad! I'll knock yeer tha fook oot!!'
The first week at University, 3 Freshers got glassed at club Zanzibar (Bottled is when someone smashes their bottle/pint glass at the end and then hits you with it).
This year, some of my friends moved into a second year house, and eight 12 year olds recognised that they were students and promptly smashed all the windows in the front of the house.
We saw some local puking on a riverbank, just outside Uni, and then he promptly started threatening us because he thought we were mocking him - (he wasn't dissuaded by the fact that there were 5 of us and one of him.)
My bike has been stolen THREE TIMES at Uni. THREE FUCKING TIMES has some bottom-feeding peasant stolen my bike. Twice by cable-cutting the chain... and once... because I left it outside a pub for 8 hours... which was my fault.... Maybe.
I was mugged by a Neanderthal with a speech-impediment for my mobile phone, 4 months later, STILL nothing has happened by the police. I was coming back home from Uni at 1 am, and as I was going over the bridge I was talking to a friend who is at a different Uni, and this knuckledragger walked in front of me, and demanded that I gave it to him. Not wanting to fuck with a 6'2 Rhino with a hormone imbalance and the largest broken nose I have seen in my life- duly emasculated, I hung up and handed it over.
Maybe the simplest way of solving the problem the north has (the people) is put bromine in the water supply instead of fluoride. Its not as if their teeth look healther anyway, but bromine would reduce their sex-drive and then turn them impotent. The people of merit can afford bottled water, and thus can breed a new society of quality people
That or exterminate everything north of Wales with nail-bombs.
I hate the North.
I hate the people.
I hate the weather.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-07-25 18:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you and your post
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-07-25 18:17:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Vile shite
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:21:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Because you're Iago's alter...WINNER! http://www.ubersite.com/m/84913
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2004-11-02 00:24:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This sucks shit.
Fucking whore.
oops! Teehee!
My naughty came out!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:43:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
take your generalizations and intolerance and stick them up your poop chute...
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:30:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
'facile retort' aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
Are you going sweaty under your turtle neck in cheek reddening shame at that?
No?
You should be.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:30:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i read this:
"considerable amount of"
and i stopped then and there
disgraceful writing
you should be shot
popinjay
Submitted by Staccers (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ugh.. Again with a facile retort. You pathetic glib idiot.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:26:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes but no-one calls me Apollo in real life, I should imagine they call you staccers. cock.
Submitted by Staccers (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit, mean sun
Submitted by Staccers (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and you choose APOLLO.
OK, first of all you chose the big homoerotic god of war, and the fact that its Greek, the people who practically invented sodomy and paedophilia.
Good choice. Suits you. Really it does.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I am not going to sit here and argue with someone whom goes by the nickname 'staccers'. I mean that just doesn't get any more prep school does it?
Middlesborough United?
More of a Polo boy are we?
Cock.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:20:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Staccers (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So what about my overtly-generous offer of working for me. It'll be a big change from sleeping in dumpsters - as much horse-shit you can eat and cosy straw for you to sleep on. Mind you - it would be the straw that the horses have shitted on and which you have cleaned up. Its not like im going to give you the shirt off my back, even in the name of charity.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:19:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You probably support Manchester United and fuck 12 year olds. Because ALL Southerners are paedophiles.
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:14:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't go to uni? blue collar? cheap suit? children?
None of those apply to me.
Balding maybe, but it is more receding than balding.
Again your ignorance is shining through.
Submitted by Staccers (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice tirade of filth Apollo. That shows some nice healthy complex that you've got brooding underneath that balding head of yours. Do you feel aggrieved that you never went to university, or that you're just a drunken, stoner fat man in a cheap suit, who has ruined his life by having children?
But if your blue-collar occupation doesn't feel like its intellectually stimulating enough, I will provide gainful employment as our stable-lad, and you can have all the horse excrement you can eat.
Eat shit and shut up.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-20 08:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you.
You pompous arrogant faux-intellectual turtle neck sweater wearing ponce. People like you deserve to get mugged. Prick.
I can just see you pontificating over a pint of bitter using words like 'fabian'.
The only Fabian I know is Barthez and he is a wanker just like you.
Cock boy.
Just stop. Listen to what you are saying as you and your friend Anabelle Farquhar-Areswipe-Smythe titter and harrumph when you see a single mother.
FUCK I HATE YOU.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-05-20 08:35:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh and by the way
I should have specified. M.U.F.C. = Middlesbrough United Football Club
Thats incorrect.
Its just 'Middlesbrough Football Club"
The only Uniteds up in the North east are
Hartlepool United
Newcastle United
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-05-20 08:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Im from the north, we dont class manchester as being north and nobody likes MUFC.
Im not feral and i dont have a big belly. Durham is typical north, beautiful and full of history, my town has been occupied for 1,200 years, its beautifull.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-05-19 18:18:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, either Bart WILL ban that fucker, or he already has.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2004-05-19 17:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought ratings from a unique user only counted once but it looks like 'Dead' has done some damage. Fucker.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2004-05-19 17:43:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ugh, another loser...
Submitted by Dead (user info) at 2004-05-19 17:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LIKE SORRY ONE OF THOSE WAS A ZERO
Submitted by Dead (user info) at 2004-05-19 17:33:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
H
Submitted by Dead (user info) at 2004-05-19 17:33:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
C
Submitted by Dead (user info) at 2004-05-19 17:33:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
T
Submitted by Dead (user info) at 2004-05-19 17:33:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I
Submitted by Dead (user info) at 2004-05-19 17:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
B
Submitted by DeadKennidies at 2004-05-19 16:32:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I completely aggree. I hate todays chavers and everything that entails council houses and state education.
FUCK the poor. Fuck them up thier dumb asses
Submitted by Metal_Immortal (user info) at 2004-05-17 09:21:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah. Poor people should all be launched into the sun. Or we could enslave them or something. blah
Submitted by p0ny_feeder (user info) at 2004-05-17 08:09:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
www.chavscum.co.uk
Submitted by Staccers (user info) at 2004-05-17 07:33:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck the poor
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2004-05-17 06:14:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I can see where you're comin' from.
Submitted by apple_tush (user info) at 2004-05-17 05:41:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have to agree...although the pikey im-gonna-kick-your-ass attitude appears
to be everywhere now. I'm studying at Luton and ive come to accept death threats as
part of everyday life. Hey-ho.
Submitted by dullard (user info) at 2004-05-17 05:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You are absolutely right in your portrayal of Northerners, I am glad you can see the problems You are causing to society. As every southerner will tell you the North, or "The Darkest North" to call it by it's correct name starts at the Thames. That makes a Salopian just as Northern as a Geaordie or a Manc, Scouser or a Tyke. You are all peasants.
Submitted by Stanley Tuesday at 2004-05-17 05:29:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Middlesbrough United? Who the fuck are they? On behalf of the North, here's:
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/
Submitted by Sicgrrl (user info) at 2004-05-17 05:03:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know how anyone puts up with all the misery that breeds outa such life-styles in the North of -
England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland.
Fuck the North to Hell.
And now I live in North London.
It's pretty shit as well.
But as least we got culture.
Lets go shopping and laugh at all those office sluts.
Hur-ra!
Submitted by Staccers (user info) at 2004-05-17 04:52:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And surely Manchester United supporters come from.. Manchester, and Londoners support Chelsea/Arsenal/whatever?
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2004-05-17 04:48:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahhhh...
Submitted by Staccers (user info) at 2004-05-17 04:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I should have specified. M.U.F.C. = Middlesbrough United Football Club
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2004-05-17 04:41:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Manchester United Football Club I guess, though what Man U supporters are doing out of London I have no idea.
Submitted by maodunye (user info) at 2004-05-17 04:40:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
What a rant
Submitted by bugga (user info) at 2004-05-17 04:38:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i know im going to regret this but what is M.U.F.C.?