Oh MAN! (2032 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.6 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DrinkDDT (View user info) at 2004-05-17 22:25:35 EDT
"Thank you."
Two words I never thought would trouble me so.
I was holding the door open for her when she said them. We were on a mercy break from our three hour class. I headed straight for the exit to get some fresh air, she was right behind me.
"Thank you." She sounded like Tom Brokaw.
I was startled by her masculine voice, but I tried not to show it as I really looked at her for the first time. She looked like John Goodman with a hazel afro and a gawdy purple dress.
She walked outside and sat on the wooden bench. Having already looked at her and lost my propensity to achieve a boner for a few days, I figured what the heck and took a seat next to her. "Nice night," she said in a deep barratone. I was thinking about telling her she should narrate Unsolved Mysteries with that raspy voice of hers when she pulled a pack of Pall Malls from her gawdy green purse. What woman smokes those bastards?
I knew then she must be a he.
I leaned forward on the bench and tried checking for an adams apple in my periphial. I couldn't make one out so I just turned my head quickly and took half a second to scope things out. Not only did I score an adams apple in that half a second, but I saw some whiskers on her. . .his chin too.
For the second time in my life I was sitting with a drag queen.
The first time was in Thailand. My theory going into Thailand was "Let the best man win". If a mangirl played me so well that I didn't know his true sex until it was too late, well then I was defeated. Sitting with a girl at a bar in Bangkok, I noticed she had an adams apple. I didn't stay long at that establishment, and ever since that day I've checked every girl I meet for lumps in their throat.
So anyway, here I was sitting on a bench with a mangirl. I took my penis out and started masturbating.
Just kidding.
She offered me a cigarette and I declined. We went back to class and I focused on the lecture, despite the woman with a cock sitting two seats in front of me.
And we all lived happily ever after.
WHOOOH!H YAAAAY! GHOOO!
User Reviews
Submitted by jimbobjoe (user info) at 2004-05-23 16:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ghey.
No more need be said.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-05-19 01:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're quoting Romeo and Juliet incorrectly on your name thingy on the MVA!!!!!
It's,
"My naked weapon is out; quarrel, I will back thee."
Not "I will back at thee".
He's saying that he'll back him up in the fight. Can't remember whether it's Sampson or Gregory who says this line.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-05-18 21:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you made me chortle. i shouldn't have chortled. i shouldn't have just used the word chortled. i think i chortled. sounds like something you would barbeque. a chortle.
+2 and all that jazz
Submitted by transcendent (user info) at 2004-05-18 21:47:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhh.. a refreshingly pointless and hilarious post.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-05-18 10:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Always funny...good read.
Submitted by Kichigai (user info) at 2004-05-18 05:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Confusion (user info) at 2004-05-18 03:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is homosexual.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-05-18 03:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"My theory going into Thailand was "Let the best man win". If a mangirl played me so well that I didn't know his true sex until it was too late, well then I was defeated."
that, folks, is pure, unadulterated fucking GOLD. man, i love it when drink gets around to posting.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-05-18 01:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's not funny.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-18 00:52:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by They_call_me_the_Fireman (user info) at 2004-05-18 00:31:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"For the second time in my life I was sitting with a drag queen. "
Submitted by pudentane <3xs.at.verizonmail.com> at 2004-05-18 00:07:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Touching. Brought back memories of my first encounter with manpanties....ah good times, good times.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2004-05-17 23:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-17 23:51:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For my brother!
Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-05-17 23:49:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HILARIOUS!
Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2004-05-17 22:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My dress was fuchsia. But thanks for noticing.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-05-17 22:50:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No it doesn't reallybored. But if you do it AGAIN, you are definitely gay without a doubt.
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Thats good to know. I mean um, for my friend, er right.
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-05-17 22:42:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No it doesn't reallybored. But if you do it AGAIN, you are definitely gay without a doubt.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-05-17 22:40:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok so if you fuck a chick who was once a guy, does that make you gay?
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-17 22:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She looked like John Goodman with a hazel afro and a gawdy purple dress.
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I think Mattel makes that Barbie. They call it Gypsy Skipper or something.
Submitted by R.P.McMurphy (user info) at 2004-05-17 22:32:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
weeeeeeeeeeeee
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-05-17 22:30:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehe
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-05-17 22:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, Drink. Glad to see you back.