Kristy Aphex: The Assassination (498 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 2 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fleet Marshall Badass (View user info) at 2004-05-19 02:38:22 EDT
I posted half of this a while ago, and rather than split the story between two posts, I thought I might as well include the whole thing in this one. Also, it doesn't make me a hitwhore by linking to an old post.
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H+90 MINUTES
Kristy Aphex cried as she cleaned her boots. The mission was successful, as always, but she got a molar stuck between the tread on her new combat boots, and it had been bugging her all the way home.
H-11 HOURS
"Hmmm... Who is it?" 1000 was entirely too early, and the intercom was making really irritating high-pitched squeals mixed with a soothing voice that got her attention immediately.
"It's me."
"Let yourself in. I'm taking a shower."
Bryan walked through the living, his heavy GPs thudding with every step he took. Kristy could hear him from the bathroom upstairs. He does have big feet, she thought playfully. She always thought playfully, it never occurred to her to take things at all seriously. She'd thought about him for a while now, never for more than the odd fleeting moment, but that moment had fleeted more often recently, and ever since the last mission, she'd never realised how close the two of them had become, and how sexy he looked in a tuxedo. She had a good imagination, and she let it get the better of her.
"Make yourself a coffee, I'll be down in about twenty minutes."
H-10 HOURS AND 30 MINUTES
"Looks like Bush is gonna win."
"Excellent. I'll negotiate further with our client later today. For now, let's have a look at what you got me."
Bryan opened the case, and already she knew that they were having fun tonight. At least 25lbs of RDX and about 40lbs of TNT stared back at her, from various countries and factories, and she almost needed to have another twenty-minute break
"Freshly confiscated?"
"You'd be surprised how many construction workers look like terrorists, and how many terrorists look like construction workers."
"I don't know if I would, actually. Anything else?"
"The detonators are in the freezer. They're not to be removed until H-2 hours."
"Okay. Where's Brent?"
"He's at home, recovering. He won't be functional until about 1400.
"I shouldn't be functional right now. I'm going back to bed."
Bryan smiled. "You're not even going to humour me? I bring you explosives, and you send me away?"
Kristy smiled. "Promise to be good?"
"Cross my heart."
"Then you can come too."
H-7 HOURS
"Get up."
"Fuck off. AHH! WHAT THE FUCK?"
"Get up."
"Fuck you, I'm getting up."
"At least you don't need a shower now, right?" Bryan struggled to wonder why he hadn't told his brother to get a job and an apartment for himself. Kristy thought he was handy, so why doesn't he go and live with her? He sighed, and took the hose back outside.
Brent grabbed his brew mug, filled it with something that had the consistency of motor oil, and came to the table.
"So where are the detonators?"
"We left them in the freezer of Kristy's place."
"So why aren't I doing this at Kristy's place."
"Because you wouldn't wake the fuck up when I left. Besides, all we have to do when you've wired everything up is attach the detonators to these RCA clips I bought you."
"Humph." Brent wondered why he hadn't already found a job or an apartment for himself. Maybe he could go and live with Kristy. She just sat there during these little sessions, not saying anything, and it was the only time Brent ever saw her. She must think I'm pretty handy, he thought.
"We'll leave these with you, we've gotta go and do some reconnaissance. I can't believe they've moved the Republican Party on us this morning. They didn't consult me at all."
"Aww Bryan, feeling left out? They probably thought nobody could plan a way to fuck it up if they changed the venue at such short notice," Kristy muttered. "But it's not so bad - you're still running security for the whole night, and they needed to renovate the function hall at Madison Square Garden anyway. And we get to use more explosives!"
H-5 HOURS
Bryan walked briskly. It was too cold for this shit to be happening in New York. Why couldn't they have the party in Hawaii or something? That would've been a good way to celebrate the coming events. In the end, he thought, it doesn't really matter; it's going to be hot tonight regardless of the location.
He walked into the middle main functions hall at Madison Square Garden, and immediately folded out a table and placed the large suitcase on it. He opened it up to reveal a chemical residue detector, "standard" equipment that he alone as the Head of Explosives Department at NYPD Headquarters knew how to handle. Kristy and another man in a black suit immediately jumped on him, pinning him to the ground and demanding explanation. It appeared that communication between the guy at the main gates and the guards in the hall was not particularly kickass.
"Let him go, dammit! He's here to make sure there aren't any bombs!"
"Yes Sir."
George came from the stage where he was rehearsing to shake hands with Bryan.
"Mr. Langley, it's good to see you again."
"The pleasure is mine, Sir. I'll need you, your party and your servicemen to adjourn to the foyer, or somewhere more comfortable until I'm finished; it's safest this way, especially since everybody will need to vacate the building if I find anything anyway."
"You just do what you do best, Bryan."
"Thank you Sir." Bryan smiled, perhaps just a little too much. Having the trust of a powerful person is one thing; having the trust of a powerful idiot is something far more advantageous. He got to work, not really understanding why Kristy wanted so much explosive.
H-3 HOURS
Kristy was frustrated. She couldn't speak good French, and her client couldn't speak very good English. It's no surprise that they got on so well in Japan, she thought - neither of them could speak Japanese very well either.
"Uh... Okay then...Look, the building will explode with the whole fucking party in it - is that good enough for you? Excellent... Yes, I've just looked up the account now, thank you very much... Yes, we'll rendezvous later and talk about further business; just let us handle this issue for now... Okay, great... Bye."
Problematic. Lucky the money was so good. She allowed herself a few second to fantasise about what would one do with $30 million...
The phone rang, right when she was thinking about buying a boat and becoming a freelance merchant boat captain; needless to say, she was annoyed.
"Kristy Aphex... Yes, Mr. President, Mr. Langley has assured me that the entire area is safe... Uh huh... Yes Sir... Okay then, I'll see you in the lobby; I'll be there in five minutes - now remember that we're focusing on hearts and minds, so we've gotta look friendly today... Excellent, just keep being nice, and we'll throw in a couple of jokes about weapons of mass destruction too... You're welcome, Sir... See you then... Bye."
Kristy laughed aloud. It's hard to find a good idiot these days... she daydreamt of the ocean on the way and stepped out of the car right into a puddle.
"Watch it ma'am; you don't want that dress ruined."
"Thank you Caroline; I like it when people let me do something stupid before offering precaution." Kristy composed herself and walked towards the lobby. She then thought about what she'd just said and decided to put the end state away for a while; the mission had just commenced.
H-1 HOUR
Kristy waited with the President as Bryan sauntered up to meet them.
"Evening, Mr. President. Just heard the results: congratulations."
"Thank you, but I don't want the press knowing just yet. Get the timing right n'all. How are you anyway Bryan?"
"Cold - this would've been so much better in Hawaii Sir," Bryan could've told Bush that his hairpiece looked stupid and Bush would probably give him a raise for being insightful and honest.
"Hehe. Well, we'll see about that if I manage to get a third term in another four years."
"Uh, Sir, you can't get a third-" Kristy stopped as the cameras roared in from all directions. "Mr. President, blah blah blah" chorused through the flashes and rabble.
"The President will answer all questions during the press conference. That's what a press conference is for." And with that, Kristy ushered the President into the function hall, while Bryan slammed the main access door in the faces of twenty journalists.
"You're probably best off mingling without us intimidating the other party members, Sir."
"Good idea Bryan. I'll see you two in an hour."
"Actually Sir, I'll need to be escorting other VIP's into the hall, and as you know, there's the press to handle while you're giving the speech." Bush thought about this for a brief moment, and nodded his consent.
From there, Kristy headed straight to the bathroom, while Bryan checked all the curtains again, making sure the wall cavities hadn't been tampered with. He sweated over this for a while; keeping other servicemen away from forty different detonation points would be almost as difficult as controlling those fucking journalists.
H-30 MINS
You'd think they'd make air vents too small to crawl through, Kristy thought as she changed into black lycra and combat boots, feeling all the while that she was somehow stuck in that Lara Croft phase she was in when she only just started playing the game. In any event, she looked good, and Bryan wasn't complaining.
"Testing comms... 1... 2... 3..."
"Comms good... 1... 2... 3..."
"Comms good. Time: H-30 minutes. Get yourself out by H-5 just to be safe."
"Right then. Your place or mine?"
"How about Starbucks on 6th and Lincoln?"
"Fine. Have fun babe."
"Thanks... out." Kristy couldn't see herself, but she was sure she was glowing a bright pink from that one. She climbed into the air vent and started following the metal labyrinth, carefully placing small amounts of RDX at each T-section. Amazing how some buildings depend on their structural integrity, she thought.
The main functions hall in Madison Square Garden relied on two main structural supports: the concrete pillars at each 20-yard interval, which also served as the foundations of the place, and 4.6 miles of steel alloy ventilation piping, which joined each room together with strength enough to support the roof. Placing enough explosive on the walls inside the hall where the pillars stood not three inches behind the wall would allow the walls to give way; enough explosive at each junction in the ventilation system would fuck the ducts up to the extent where the roof would simply collapse. Not bad planning for a last minute job.
With the last detonator in place, Kristy paused to allow herself the pleasure of thinking of the ensuing implosion for a couple of minutes, and then made her way through the ducts and outside, to a van parked across the road. It was too easy.
H-5 MINS
"Mr. President, Sir, Ms. Aphex has just informed me that she will assist me in handling the press."
"That's absurd, Mr. Langley. She needs to be in here. I'm on in three minutes."
"Sir, I need her to answer all your questions so you have no need to address them yourself."
"Oh, very well. But tell her she's missing a great speech."
"She wrote it Sir; I'm sure she already knows how it's gonna sound." Bryan turned to head outside.
"You out yet?"
"On my way."
"Good. Detonation set for 240 seconds."
"That's plenty of time."
Bryan was past the press and about to head out the door, and then somebody grabbed his arm.
"What the fuck is this, Langley?" Bryan stared blankly at a small cylinder held in the hand of a black-suited lackey.
H-30 SECONDS
Kristy could see Bryan and the serviceman in the lobby. She jumped out of the van and ran towards the gates. Meanwhile, Bryan knew he was fucked...
"What are you talking about?"
"You were the only one here today, so you tell me."
Bryan hesitated before drawing his Beretta and blowing the serviceman's face all over the wall behind him. Then he gasped as the fragile detonation cap was let go by the falling body. He dived quickly, and caught it just before it hit the floor, just in time to read the counter, which had flipped up as the gun went off.
"3...
2...
1..."
"FUCK-"
"I plan to serve this country-"
"BRYAN-"
Glass shattered as most of Bryan was flung out of the lobby and onto the street. At the same time, the explosion of 65 lbs of high explosive broke the calm of the night. Kristy was torn between the sheer pleasure of the explosion and the fact that her lover lay strewn about the entrance to the once proud structure, which now enveloped the upper echelon of the Republican Party. It was the most bittersweet moment of Kristy Aphex's life. She jumped into the van, stepping on a loose pebble on the way, and turned into a side alley, and out onto 5th before the police reached the collapsed building.
H+10 MINS
Kristy Aphex drove faster, with tears in her eyes, and the pebble still stuck on the bottom of her boot. She picked up her cell phone.
"Yeah?"
"Brett, it's Kristy."
"Oh hey. How'd it go? We sittin' on a happy sum of cash?"
"Brett, Bryan didn't make it out."
"... Shit."
"Shit? That's all you can say: 'Shit'?"
"Well what the fuck do you expect?"
"Okay, I'm sorry."
"Yeah... so... we're splittin' the cash between the two of us?"
Kristy couldn't believe what she just heard. She hung up on Brett and headed home, crying all the way, with half a mind to kill Brett on the way. But she thought better... he'd be expecting it right now, and besides, she had to get this fucking stone out of the tread of her boot.
User Reviews
Submitted by Fleet_Marshall_Badass (user info) at 2004-05-20 23:05:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Interesting... bargled actually liked something I wrote.
I will say this though: even though it was my first attempt at fiction here, that's no excuse for making a sniper shoot Bush and then having the sniper killed by the collapsing building.
Badass.
Submitted by Fixer (user info) at 2004-05-19 12:25:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-05-19 11:20:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this last night and liked it, and it was even better the 2nd time.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-05-19 04:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for it kicking ass.
w00t!
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-05-19 02:42:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for it being really, really long, and for you explaining why you made it that way.