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Save the microbes! (686 hits)

Category: Humor

Rating: 0.42 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by adrian (View user info) at 2004-05-19 03:15:05 EDT


Billions of innocent bacteria are killed on a daily basis! Through instruments of death such as antibiotics and bleaches, humans kill many times their own number in bacteria, viruses and other microorganisms. We wouldn't last one day if we were killing off our own species at the same rate. Most humans are willing to sacrifice their own friendly bacteria to make sure the "bad" ones are destroyed, even to the point of killing their own cells to do so. This is akin to dropping a nuclear bomb on a battlefield without bothering to even trying to save your own troops first.

For what? To add a few lousy years onto their extravagant lives? To relieve a small amount of discomfort brought on by what they believe to be caused by these tiny friends? Is it really worth it?

That's not even mentioning other microorganisms we unneccesarily kill, such as viruses, viriods, fungi and prions. So viruses require a few of your cells to procreate. Big deal, you've got billions of them, and they aren't alive on their own. Organisations such as the evil WHO have successfully wiped out at least one species of virus, and are attempting to eradicate many more. In this age of animal rights, for any other species, this would be condemned and unthinkable. But these people are not only getting away with this, they are being encouraged by governments of many major countries. This must not stand!

Not only that, but bacteria and viruses are experimented on in micro"biology" laboratories to research better ways of destroying them. They are subjected to inhumane killing methods, such as UV exposure, extremes of hot and cold, not to mention the antibiotic agents mentioned above. You can see animal rights activists protesting about the treatment of monkeys and other laboratory animals, but even they don't bat an eye at the thousands of bacteria grown in labs just to be killed off again.

Now, I hear you asking, why should we try to save these things if all they do is bring us death and destruction? Well, for one thing that's not true. Bacteria do many noble things in the animal and plant worlds by allowing us to access nutrients that we could otherwise not utilise. If you believe in the theory of evolution, we all came from a bacterium-like organism, and wouldn't even be here if it weren't for them. Sure a few bad apples tarnish their name, but just because one or two got lost along the way doesn't mean that we shouldn't help them. If anything, we should redouble our efforts, and find a way for us to live in harmony with them.

And to you, I issue this, a final battle cry. Speak up for the oppressed organisms and save the microbes!

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User Reviews


Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-05-19 05:08:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That would make sense.


My apologies. Have a +2 on me.


Fnar fnar!

Submitted by Captain-Cretin (user info) at 2004-05-19 05:06:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

It's a spoof.
It manages to use all the right "save the puppies" terminology for a totally stupid cause.

Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-05-19 04:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

There was a point?

Submitted by Captain-Cretin (user info) at 2004-05-19 04:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

I think deathjester has failed to get the point.
me??
I'm off to raid the local bio-war lab and liberate all those poor ebola and bubonic plague bugs they have enslaved in there.

Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-05-19 04:30:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

"...and they [virii] aren't alive on their own. Organisations such as the evil WHO have successfully wiped out at least one species of virus, and are attempting to eradicate many more."

"Aren't even alive on their own"? How is WHO infringing on an organisms' right to life if it's not alive in the first place?

You wanted to point out the use of bacteria in the production of Insulin for diabetics, the use of Penicillin, and how gastro-intestinal worms (parasites, you missed those completely) can help relieve allergy symptoms, especially Hayfever.

On the whole, you wrote this as i'd expect a 15 year old to in his GCSE exams; Factually incomplete and self contradicting.

Go back to school.

Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2004-05-19 04:00:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

No Comment

Submitted by DeadKennedysKid (user info) at 2004-05-19 03:27:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Im in the process of making my very own "Save the microbes!" t-shirt.

[Krista]



Our lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I. Many of
them incompetent boobs. I know this because I've worked alongside
them, gone bowling with them, watched them pass me over for promotions
time and again and I say this stinks.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer's Odyssey