Diary of a madman 2. (1098 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesLabels: doam
Rating: 2 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bigmike (View user info) at 2004-05-20 01:28:51 EDT
Chapter One
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32509
Chapter Two
It's so nice sitting in the dark.
It feels powerful. The darkness has an edge, an uncertainty, a calming effect. It is what life should be. Maybe not. Maybe I just like it because it is cool and damp. Doesn't matter I guess. What's important is the way I feel right now, not why I feel this way.
I am guessing at the margins now. When I read this is the morning, I'll probably laugh at how it looks on the page. This also doesn't matter. What matters is the content. The thought. The thought process. Do I have one? I think yes, I do.
Let's examine the thought process, shall we? Let's say, for instance, that I have a person tied up over in the corner there, and that this person is blindfolded and bound by rope. Let's say this person has been there for 3 days or so. No food or water. No clothing save for a black cloth hood covering it's head. What's the thought process there? Has it reached desperation yet? Has it resigned itself to a torturous, vile death by starvation as it sits there in it's own waste? These thoughts comfort me in the dark and yet I am troubled.
What if it never dies? Should I feed it? Should I listen to it's plea for release? How long should I wait until I check it to see if it's dead? I think I'll wait another day or too for that. It thinks and it breathes and it shuffles and it shivers. When it opens it's eyes what does it truly see? I wonder if it see's darkness or light. Does it have the vivid daydreams of a person on the brink of madness? What does it THINK?
Shit, I'm still here.
Damn this sucks.
I wonder what he will do to me.
I wish my dad or mom were here.
I wish I were home.
I wish I were dead.
There could be any number of thoughts going through it's head right now. Is it dreaming? What could it possibly be dreaming about. Some people say that our dreams are our basest of subconcious thought. They are the way we truly want to be. The way we truly think. If that's the case, I think that it's dreams would be of murder and death. Of retribution and revenge. Of glorious freedom. Of comfort food and a nice warm bed.
I think the last one had some interesting thoughts. At the end she just resigned herself to death and never even put up a fight. She thought of the release and peace of death. She was bound and naked too, but I left a little opening in the hood so I could see her eyes. They are truly the windows to the soul. I could see the hate and the fear. I could see the resentment and the envy. I could see the resignation and hopelessness. I could see the exact moment, the exact second when her thoughts went blank and she realized she was never going to see a play or a concert or a movie or a meal....ever again.
The thought process is a wonderful thing. How we go from one thought to another in the blink of an eye is such an interesting thought in and of itself. You see, others never let me think for myself. Others always thought for me. I am robot, I am lemming, I am indian, never to be chief. This is why the subject fascinates me so. This diary. A collection of thought based in the bedrock of firm, decisive action. Thoughts on actions and deeds. Never judgemental and always honest. This book will be found one day amidst bones and dust. It will be read. It will be pondered over.
Real thought will go into why it was written. Why such a record would be made. Why someone would think in such a manner. It will be a smash hit with the Psyche crowd. It will be a manifest. It will be a textbook.
I can hear it moving now, I can sense it's desperation. Maybe it's time.
The die have been cast. No amount of thought can change that. No amount of hope can alter fate.
So dream on. Dream on.
User Reviews
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-05-07 03:30:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have finally worked my way back to this series.
I am glad I did.
-Dave
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2004-12-31 05:46:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Something tells me this series is the perfect cure for my boredom, this slow new years eve.
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-08-08 02:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you are one twisted motherfucker.
no kidding.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-08-08 00:26:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought you did a fine job of creating such a realistic point of view that the main character has. He thinks as a real person would, about the past, the present, and the future. The originality is superb.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-07-17 01:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-07-12 14:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-05-24 20:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-20 20:51:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
Submitted by indigogecko (user info) at 2004-05-20 08:14:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really hope that's just a good imagination behind this story, rather than any personal experience.. *shudder*
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2004-05-20 05:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Im not sure if I want you to be my dad anymore now.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-20 02:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No it is not me.
And why can't you intelligent people spell my name right?
heh.
I hope you read that thread where I explained myself and your mistake.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-05-20 02:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I could see the hate and the fear. I could see the resentment and the envy. I could see the resignation and hopelessness. I could see the exact moment, the exact second when her thoughts went blank and she realized she was never going to see a play or a concert or a movie or a meal....ever again."
That shook me. The whole thing was incredibly, awesomely good.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-05-20 02:05:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I never accused you mistiamoon, I just said that it looked strange that's all.
Sometimes a Uberuser who is trying the "Dual personality" thing will forget and post under their established name. That's what it looked like when I read your reply. I was just pointing it out. If you are not that person, then accept my apologies. If you are that person and you're trying to make me believe you are not then congratulations, it's working.
Either way It doesn't really affect what happens here and people will forget about that post in about a day or so anyways.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-20 01:59:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll still give ya a 2 even though you accused me of being that Dead guy.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2004-05-20 01:38:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a krazy motherfucker big guy.