Just a Window (2628 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.69 on 67 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Kristen (View user info) at 2004-05-20 02:43:59 EDT
"It's just a window!"
That's what I heard, over and over again, when I was buying my house.
"If you'll buy a whole house based solely on one window, then I don't know if I want to cosign with you, Kristen Leighton."
I heard that, too, but only from my dad.
Four years ago, I bought my first house. I was eighteen, fresh out of high school, and had a once-in-a-lifetime offer from dear dad-he would pay the down payment and closing costs so long as I made my mortgage payments on time. His only requirements were that it not be a complete wreck, not be half a million dollars, and that it be close to where I would be going to school, in a safe neighborhood.
At eighteen, you look for a cool house. Cool, by my standards at the time, meant a skylight, a spa, and plenty of rooms for friends to stay over. I found all that in my current residence-along with a foyer I fell in love with on sight. Yes, it all sounds incredibly trivial, but to this day I absolutely adore my entryway.
It gets worse.
What made that particular foyer in that particular home stand out to me? A long, vertical window next to the front door. Yup. A window.
Obviously, there's more to my house than a single pane of glass. But you wouldn't have known it at the time. Whenever I told friends from back home about my newly acquired real estate, the first thing out of my mouth was, "I love my foyer! It has the cutest window!"
And so the, "It's just a window!" comments ensued.
But really, a window is not "just" a window. It's a transparent barrier of protection from the outside world. It keeps bugs out, it keeps harsh weather out, it keeps people out. It does all this while allowing good things in. Sunlight, muted noises and a pretty view. Really, aside from parents, there is nothing in this world that provides you with such one-sided love and care. All it requires to do its job is an occasional swipe with a Windex-infused napkin.
Thankfully, I've gone through many a-bottle of Windex over the years. My end of the relationship has been upheld.
A few nights ago I sat up, reading. The clock told me it was past 4 am, but I didn't need the clock. I was tired. I contemplated sleeping on the couch, but I knew I needed my alarm clock to wake up in time to get Evran to school. So, grumbling, I hauled my rear end off the couch and began my trek upstairs. As I entered the foyer, clicking the front porch light, the inner foyer light, and the family room light off in one fell swoop, my ears caught something so quiet I chose to ignore it. But no sooner had my foot hit the bottom step than the hairs on my arms stood up.
Have you ever pressed on a window really hard? If not, try it really quickly. It makes an almost inaudible, strained tinkling sound.
I heard it one more time before I realized I hadn't moved in at least one full minute. And here is where I allow you access into my mind.
In case there was indeed a perpetrator lurking outside the window by my front door, the last thing I wanted to do was alert him/her to the fact that I had heard them. Remaining stationary, not quite out of view from the front door, is not the best way, in my opinion, to trick him into thinking I didn't sense his presence.
So onward I bounded, up the stairs, two at a time, until I reached the door of my infinitely braver roommate. Not bothering with a courtesy knock, I burst into her room and pounced on her bed.
"Jenn, I heard something by the front door."
"Mmmph."
"Go check it out."
"If you won't then why should I?"
"Because otherwise I'm sleeping in here tonight."
"UGH!"
She stomped toward the door.
"Jenn, Jenn, Jenn! Wait! Don't ACT like you're going to see if there's a prowler. Act like you're getting a glass of water. You don't want him to think we're onto him." I tossed her the portable phone.
<fading voice as she walks out the door> "No, that'd be CRAZY."
I chewed on the corner of her comforter for an agonizing two minutes. Finally, she came back in her room.
"There's no one out there."
"How do you know?"
"I flicked the porch light on, opened the door, and no one was there."
I stared at her, silenced by her bold stupidity.
"Now he knows we know he's out there!"
"No, he doesn't, because 'he' doesn't exist."
I went along with her for the sake of peace on earth.
The next couple of nights, I tensed every time I had to pass the window. Since I stay up far too late, I'm usually on my own from about midnight on. I didn't hear anything else, and my body gradually forgot to sprint through the foyer every time I entered it.
So. Let's wrap this thing up.
Last night I laid on the couch, watching Cheers. I needed a coffee refill and some chocolate and was waiting for a commercial break. Finally, an old guy passed out over a billiard table as Carla was walking him out of the main room of the bar and the show went to break. I half-ran through my foyer and into my kitchen, determined to "beat" the commercial break. I poured the coffee, added the fat-free, French vanilla creamer, and grabbed a Little Debbie Star Crunch. I heard the show start up and hurried back toward the family room.
I had to pass through my foyer, yet again, to make it into the family room. As I exited the kitchen, I was facing the front door and its neighboring window dead-on. My steps slowed as soon as I was midway to my destination. Something was off. Ahhhh...it was too dark. The thought, "The porch's bulb must have burnt out" didn't even last a full second in my mind before I realized what was going on.
Someone was leaning on the window by my door, blocking the light.
My head rang. Everything in front of me got wavy for a second, and then very clear. A scream crawled about halfway up my throat and got trapped by my mouthful of sawdust. Oddly, despite my sudden case of rubber muscles, I kept a good grip on my mug of coffee-I didn't even tip it-and I didn't drop my Star Crunch. Then again, when is the last time you've ever seen a woman drop chocolate?
Just as suddenly as I realized what was going on, I was hit in the face with seemingly sun-bright light as the person apparently caught on, by my frozen look of horror, that I have seen them and takes off, unblocking the light's path into my home.
I felt like a sitting duck. I felt very awkward and conspicuous, had no real thought process, and yet somehow stumbled into the family room, sat on the couch, placed my coffee and cookie on the table ever so casually, and picked up the phone. I hit the mute button on the remote control as a 9-1-1 operator picked up.
I couldn't find my voice. She repeated her greeting. Finally, I managed to choke a whisper past my oversized, dry tongue.
She thought that the intruder was in my house, due to my incoherent whispers. I kept trying to correct her, but to no avail. She asked if I could see him. I shook my head 'no', even though she couldn't see me.
All of a sudden, my air conditioning kicked on with a squeak and a groan.
My scream finally dislodged itself from the deep confines of my throat.
The operator spoke even more loudly and clearly.
"Miss, are you ok? Do you see the perpetrator?"
It still took a few tries to get my voice to come out clearly. Finally, she and I are on the same page. Upon the cops' arrival, the operator and I parted ways. And we were just starting to get each other, too. Oh well.
I love the police in my area. Nothing ever happens here, aside from the occasional speeder, so they're very excited when something does crop up. Two headed outside, searching the yard, our cars, the roof, the back porch, everywhere. One stayed inside and jotted down information. I told him about the strange sounds from a few nights prior, that I couldn't tell what the person looked like other than it was a white male, and that I haven't recently had any bad breakups.
The cops concur that most likely, this is the work of a peeping tom. The thing about peeping toms, according to them, is that they're voyeurs. They get their kick from watching, undetected, with their victim unaware. Knowing that he's been spotted has most likely taken the air out of his tire. They expect he's lost interest. They seem so sure. They seem to really know what they're talking about.
I suddenly realized I was shaking. I tried to stop, but made it worse in the process. I looked up at the officers.
"That's normal, ma'am. You'll be fine."
I tried to walk them to the door, but they insisted I relax. Thankfully, I sank back into the couch cushions and watched their retreating backs. One turned around.
"Ma'am, to reduce the temptation in the future, I would get a shade for that window. No point in waving bait, you know?"
"Nah. It's just a window."
Just a window, indeed.
User Reviews
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-07-30 04:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha Tom in the window.
in reference to your Kristen + UberMenz = Frankenbabies post: Your next post should show what our kids would look like.
oh dear god. the horror.
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-07-29 06:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh, i was scared for a second then. Nice front door
Submitted by 01011010 (user info) at 2004-07-19 22:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nature is a whore.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-07-13 15:32:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
still a good post, but Matt maiorano is takin your spot in 200 hits.
POST!!!!!!
jeez, i'm just here lookin out for your wellbeing.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-12 04:28:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
don't*
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-12 04:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
am I the only one who's seen this post before? The 1st time I did +2 it btw but I just do think it's original.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-07-12 04:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I already couldn't sleep, and now I'm creeped out, so it's worse. Dammit, girl.
Submitted by A-Daamage (user info) at 2004-07-12 03:45:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perhaps you should go with the obvious and have the police run an APB on IHAKF.
Submitted by cherrybeer (user info) at 2004-07-12 00:08:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck that.. +2 for the pic. Scared the bahjesus outta me.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-07-10 14:14:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Method has taken your spot, and matt maiorano is close behind.
You need to Post!!!!
oh yeah, you're hot too.... (couldn't think of anything else to say)
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-07-10 04:57:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DO YOU PEOPLE NOT SEE TOM IN THE WINDOW??
Get it?? Peeping Tom?
Sheesh.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2004-07-09 18:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well written Kris. i'm sorry you had to get a scare like that. I have had several shady people running around my apartment building, so I got a dog.
My little pup is only 11 weeks old now, but he is gonna be a decent sized dog.
He is a Pitbull (or Staffordshire Terrier), and I know this is gonna sound racist, but I know the ghetto rats will stay away from my door. Even when I am walking him, if someone approaches me a little too fast or aggressively he stands in front of my and tries to look tough.
Here's a little internet stalker trick... are you any relation to Karyn Leighton? at 7118 nw 42nd court?
-Turtle
Submitted by TheEmuQuack (user info) at 2004-07-03 23:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for "Then again, when is the last time you've ever seen a woman drop chocolate?"
-2 for the "window" really being "just a window" I thought it would look better. Had me excited (not like that)
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-07-03 15:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-06-27 02:04:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
first off, good post.
second of all, no post in a month?
You better get a crackilackin, yo.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, what the duece?
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-07-02 17:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by dtexas <aprildharrison.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-07-02 17:35:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story. But you may be able to sleep better if you don't consume coffee and chocolate at 4 am.
Submitted by idontusuallydothisbut... (user info) at 2004-07-02 00:15:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i recently stumbled upon this place on my quest to pass the hours at work and i absolutely adore kristen's "stories"...and the little head scared me too.
Submitted by sliver (user info) at 2004-06-30 15:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that little head scared me
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-06-30 15:05:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you dont write often enough.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-06-29 21:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
air out of his tire, heh, he got "deflated".
Damnit i love immaturity!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-06-28 23:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
At least you know the perp was technologically challeged...otherwise he'd be a hundred yards away with night vision goggles attached to binoculars... That's what I'd do...I my name were Tom, that is. :0)
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-06-27 02:04:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
first off, good post.
second of all, no post in a month?
You better get a crackilackin, yo.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-27 00:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Geodescent (user info) at 2004-06-26 23:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pomeranian? What the fuck? I had a big black mutt that would jump the fence in
order to attack my friends from school. Would swallow beef whole, without
bothering to chew. You need one of *those* dogs, as in, Doberman or Pitt Bull.
Or land mines. I find those tend to help. Just don't forget where you put them.
Submitted by Cryopaul (user info) at 2004-06-25 09:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As BigMike said, get a dog. My wife convinced me years ago to get a pomeranian. Say what you will about small dogs but he's my best friend. He lets me know when somebody is ten feet away from our front patio. He scares away soliciters, mailmen, and the meter readers. I can't imagine how I got along without him. I can't imagine anybody dumb enough to break into my place since I have 3 small dogs now. And I own a glock.
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-06-24 10:10:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why not just be like every other american and get a gun?
Submitted by JChristian1965 (user info) at 2004-06-17 17:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This IS good.
Creeped me out....
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-06-15 00:03:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How did I not rate this?
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-06-13 16:47:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good dogs, good locks, and good Glocks.
When the fuck are you gonna post again? We miss you.
Werd.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-06-12 01:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-05-20 08:53:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's pretty messed up.
Buy a dog, that'll keep them pervs away.
Not only will the dog protect you, but it will love you and all that live in your house unconditionally for the rest of it's life. Plus, dogs have excellent hearing. They will hear something moving around on your front steps way before you hear it. They also act as good alarms.
I love dogs. Mine have woken me up on more than one occasion and I immediately knew that someone or something was outside. It's usually a deer or raccoon or something, but you never know.
Just remember Kristin, good locks and good dogs.
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-06-07 23:22:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, you wuss. Your air conditioner clicked on and you screamed? Your like my gf, she jumps when a phone rings. A PHONE.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-05-25 19:51:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Come to Boston so I can protect you.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/34058
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-05-24 15:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll protect you, my love! ;-)
Have there been any more peeps from your Peeping Tom?
:-)
Phoenix
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-05-22 18:15:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm back and I still fucking hate you. Good post. Disappointed there hasn't been any new pics posted, start cam-whoring.
Submitted by kireisarah (user info) at 2004-05-21 01:37:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ugh, creepy.
+2 because I just signed the lease on my first house. Not the same as buying one, obviously, but it's still a big step for me! Luckily this town is as close to Pleasantville as you can get so I doubt we'll be getting many window-stalkers.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-05-21 01:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reason 5022 that creep has a Glock 21 in his nightstand.
...and a shotgun in the closet.
...and a Glock 19 in my wife's nightstand.
Werd.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-05-20 22:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Completely freaky. I absolutely hate things that go bump in the night.
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-05-20 14:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For dogs, Rhodesian Ridgebacks and German Shepherd can both be wonderfully trained animals that can protect you and serve rather quietly with minimal effort required from you. Unlike Dobermans and Rottweilers, they seem to be able to understand the difference between playing and serious, and they will kill an intruder but would never ever hurt a child. That is, those that are well trained (like all of the ones I have raised!)
Submitted by mizuchoudai (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:22:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"No point in waving bait, you know"
Nice cop answer basically to anything that women get anxious about:
rape (Better not wear clothes like that, Missy)
being mugged (For God's sake, you women with your huge pocketbooks!)
being looked at in your own home (Close your shades, Girl, you're practically inviting people to look in at you!)
I wonder what advice they would've give you if you were a middle-aged, unattractive man with an ass-crack showing and old food stains on your free Budweiser promo t-shirt.
Submitted by iamhewhoisnot (user info) at 2004-05-20 12:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-05-20 11:37:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
....wuss.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-05-20 09:37:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How terrible! That has to be the worst feeling. I hope this is the end of it.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-05-20 08:53:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's pretty messed up.
Buy a dog, that'll keep them pervs away.
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-05-20 08:49:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You may enjoy going and practicing shooting more with a handgun, but with Evran in the house I would recommend a 12 gauge shotgun with a trigger lock. You cannot miss with a 12 gauge, and I am sure you would only want to use it if your house god forbid was broken into. Still it makes for a good feeling of safety and security. As long as you have the key where you can get it and he cant (I recommend on top of an inner closet door frame) there is not any danger he could hurt himself with it and you can sleep well at night knowing that while you may need to fear spiders, if a pervert ever breaks into your house you will be able to protect everyone there. Also he will probably run out if he hears the ca chink of a pump shotgun loading.
This story sucks and it makes me pissed and I am sad for you. Why are there so many freaks and weirdos in the world? We had some people break into our house the year we first moved to TN when we were out of town. My dad had to travel a good bit and my mom had 3 young kids (14, I was 12 and 10) in the house. We did not know who it was, but there was a construction crew nearby and I went down with my mom and dad and we asked if we could some of the pieces of sawed off 2 by 4 that were no use for them for target practice. After my mom blew a block in half, and the half into a quarter and the quarter into an eighth my dad and I decided to try other aspects of marksmanship. One good ole boy came over and said "Man that lady sure can shoot." I said "yes she will be able to practice sometimes with me when I am at home studying this year." No one ever broke into our house after that.
Submitted by indigogecko (user info) at 2004-05-20 08:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
scary stuff.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-05-20 08:25:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus! That just freaked the hell out of me.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-05-20 08:15:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Buy a gun.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-05-20 08:01:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/18860
Thought I wouldn't do it... didn't ya?
Submitted by Dufflady (user info) at 2004-05-20 07:38:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You kept my attention..I was so tensed up.
Submitted by hmmm <knatm.at.freeserve.com> at 2004-05-20 06:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
god that is soooooooo fake. and not all australians say 'cricky' you weirdo.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-05-20 06:31:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok that's freaky.... I have heaps of windows in my house.... and sliding glass doors.... eep..
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-20 05:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, hey, hey. None of that shit on my post, Justin.
That is SUCH a bad photoshop. Hahahahahahaha.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-05-20 05:07:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<33 wiki
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-05-20 04:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well written.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-05-20 04:44:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha, peeping Tom.
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2004-05-20 04:29:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The ironic thing about that is it looks like one of those windows you can't actually see through.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-05-20 04:26:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kristen, there's something I need to tell you.......
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-05-20 04:11:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Peeping Tom.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-05-20 04:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
goddammit Kristen, I just noticed the fucking face. Thats creepy.
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-05-20 03:44:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-20 03:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FINALLY!
Ha. Ugaly, the face in the window is my futile attempt at a photoshop...it's Über Tom.
Yeah, it sucks.
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-05-20 03:38:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That face in the window is creeping me out
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-05-20 03:27:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's crazy stuff.
Hey Kristen, I miss talking to you, darn it girl.
What happened?
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-20 03:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-05-20 03:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this. The fact that I read the entire thing is a testament to that.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-05-20 02:50:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wtf mate?