And the Geek(s) Shall Inherit The Earth.. (603 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.63 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by indigogecko (View user info) at 2004-05-20 15:05:35 EDT
..In fact, they already have.
It's amazing how everything grinds to a standstill in any organisation, regardless of whether its a university, hospital, office block or anything else, as soon as the computers go down. I read the other day how the NHS are looking into Unix/Linux based operating systems after their Microsoft systems basically fell over once too many times. The article in question went on about how this would pretty much shaft microsoft, as the NHS are the largest employer in Europe or something along those lines. At Uni recently the whole campus went down with the latest worm, and two weeks later my tutor was still waiting to have his computer fixed while the tech-people were generically slow getting round each individual PC in the department.
Now you might expect from a title like that, this is going to be another Geek Pride rant, but I don't claim to be anywhere near geeky enough to fall into this elite group of people who already have succeeded in taking over the world.
Take the fabled Big Red Button (BRB). Now we'd like to think that is controlled by the people we elect as being less incapable than the other keen sods who volunteered, and to some extent that's true. They are the ones giving the orders, but when it comes to putting their plans into action, it's a different story.
Imagine this then. Some real idiot gets into power. It goes completely to his head and at exactly the wrong moment some rival points out how big his nose is, small his dick is, ugly his "Mama" is, or something of that ilk. Mr. Power Mad declares war, and not just that. He's really pissed off, so he calls for the nukes too, while we're at it. Now the geeks who built the nukes and their guidance systems in the first place get wind of this plan in the nick of time, and knowing how much damage those suckers can do, stage an "accident" - they fail to launch, or they launch too high, too fast and detonate harmlessly out in space somewhere, or maybe the BRB has been replaced with a small inconspicuous dashboard plastic jesus. In any case the geeks are the ones calling the shots here, saving the world.. and all that gets mentioned is that the nuke didn't work, must have been shoddy workmanship. But the geeks like that. They get off on the fact they've saved the world, who cares if nobody knows it was them? It's just like all the masked superheroes in their comics.
Another way they'll take over, and are taking over, is in the form of University Lecturers. Teachers at school might know their stuff, but lecturers Know Their Stuff, and are more often than not highly opinionated about their stuff. Especially where technical subjects are concerned, they will impart their knowledge, and importantly their opinions, on anyone eager and capable enough to take them on board. These proto-geeks are the sort of people who will grow up to be the geeks I'm talking about here, and the lecturers can smell that a decade away. A technical degree isn't just a way of saying you know a fair bit about your subject, it's a way of weeding out the Geeks from the wannabes and would've-beens. The lecturers ensure their opinions are carried on into the next generation of geeks, and taht their names will live forever in the acknowledgements of every report ever written by their students, "Sir, for inspiration..."
And so it goes on. Any company which sells good or services which can be described in technical jargon is garunteed to do well, because the average ley-person doesn't speak Geek, and ends up thinking "well that sounds impressive. I bet it's worth the extra money". Sad but true, there are more people who don't know the difference between jargon and bullshit, and it works more often than you might think.
Of course there are more subtle ways in which geeks are taking over. Even student proto-geeks can get a sniff at these entry-level domination tactics. Speaking several languages, even conversationally will instantly boost your CV. Know a programming language even though you read Ancient History? GREAT! Been designing your own websites sinse you finished primary school? You'll get taken on almost anywhere. And all the while you have access to skills for hauling information around which are better than those your employer has, that means from the start you have power to override his commands and in some cases he need never be aware you have done so. In fact if you get a more appropriate message across, more efficiently and more understandably, you'll probably be praised for it. And when you get promoted and have your own lackies, you know they'll work hard, because if they don't, you'll do far worse than cut off their internet connection... All their humour, porn and slacking-off links will be replaced with UKIP propoganda sites, full-blast sex sounds and the "worst ever" list of Ubersite posts.
User Reviews
Submitted by Messerschmitt (user info) at 2004-05-20 17:16:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
americans have lots of things.
thats why antibiotics were invented
ha ha ha
that's very funny
And they didn't even invent the antibiotics, only the things to use them
Submitted by Captain-Cretin (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:58:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
americans have lots of things.
thats why antibiotics were invented
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:51:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Captain-Cretin (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:48:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
NHS = National Health Service
Something we Brits have and you yanks dont (na na nana na)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If i could rate this reply i'd give it a -2.
Americans have the, NGAF program. Something you limeys dont have. It stands for.. Nobody gives a fuck.
Submitted by Captain-Cretin (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:48:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NHS = National Health Service
Something we Brits have and you yanks dont (na na nana na)
Submitted by iamhewhoisnot (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
why was this posted
"Any company which sells good or services which can be described in technical jargon is garunteed to do well, because the average ley-person doesn't speak Geek"
wtf is this?
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:43:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Thanks man, took me a while, even though you've had like 10 heh.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don, great job with the 1000hit post, I'm drunk and feel like doing some barking.
indickinassho, or whatever the fuck name that is, sorry I didn't realize you are a girl.
I take it all back, wanna fuck?
NICE SHOES LET"S FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:39:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
err girl.
Dunno what made me think you were male.....
Submitted by indigogecko (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and corrections: I'm female, not a guy (though that might be hard to tell) and the NHS referred to is the National Health Service. I'm in England.
Submitted by indigogecko (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:36:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cowardly? hardly. carbon-copy ideas? Please feel free to link me to the post you think I took this from. I probably missed it, there's a lot to get through. And as for the fact I joined recently automatically meaning I'm going to be crap, I expect it will take a few more posts to establish myself, I don't expect to jump right in and be "part of the gang" from the start. In fact, I don't expect to be part of the gang at all if all they do is flame newbies for being new.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:34:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The only good part about being a geek is the money.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
could've been better, Dunno why everybody is hatin on this guy today.
Hey shitfuck, heh calm down bro, if we were all "cool" then everybody would be boring. I'm not sayin i'm a goober like this kid probly is but... What really is normal? To be normal is to be strange... and to be very strange is to be a geek, so in essence they could be considered "very normal".
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:30:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
NHS isn't a company or anything you cunt.NHS is the National Honor Society and that's what all the uber-nerds are part of. I was a nerd in High School and _I_ made fun of them for being nerds!
Submitted by Agent Smith <smith.at.fbi.gov> at 2004-05-20 15:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That is not how our nuclear deployment system works. Please educate yourself.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you fucking cowardly, pencil cocked bed shitting pedophile...
Feel wanted? Fuck off, we hate you. Your user number is +8000, that means you are automatically a stupid cunt. It's a game we play here, you think we want you to join, you think we want to listen to your assinine, carbon copy ideas, you think you're special...
But you're wrong assfuck.
Tell your mom she left her panties at my house again--man, that slut sure can take a double fisting like I haven't encountered since your dad.
I hope you get AIDS from an infected lab rat as you try to masturbate him for a Gay Science Fair project on rat semen and AIDS.
ASSHAT!
Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/33605
Submitted by Captain-Cretin (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They're burning you even more than my post, i'm only -1.33 so far.
I dont think it's a bad post; i think that only the retards are in here at the mo.
(Remedial class finished early???)
Submitted by indigogecko (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:21:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's so nice to feel wanted. Mostly I was trying to post something vaguly serious to avoid the whole "I'm leaving" "people who leave are wankers" "stop posting about people leaving being wankers" chain which has been going on today...
Clearly I chose the wrong day to do so.
Flame all you want if it's constructive. In response to "eat shit" - Um.. no.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:19:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you lost me at "...in fact they already have."
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:17:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:14:44 (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's a suggestion:
Go find a homeless guy and ask him to take a shit into your mouth for me.
Thanks.
------------------------------------------------------------
hahahahhahaha
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think yuo should be used to chum shark infested waters.
Submitted by Captain-Cretin (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's even scarier than that.
The next generation of Royal Navy warships will use "Windows for Warships", a militarised version of Windows XP Pro.
The last thing you need with vampires inbound is a BSOD.
By the way, does anyone know if the old BSOD personaliser works on XP??
I know it was written for 3.00 but it works on 95, 98 and 98se although i havent tired it on ME.
(BSOD allows you to change the colour of the "Blue Screen Of Death", I currently have "The Mauve Screen Of Death", with dark pink writing, very soothing.)
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:14:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
NERDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's a suggestion:
Go find a homeless guy and ask him to take a shit into your mouth for me.
Thanks.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I want to hit you.
Hard.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-05-20 15:08:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I read it.
Why?