Family, my aunt, and camwhoring (4822 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.57 on 69 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (View user info) at 2004-05-20 16:29:25 EDT
My family isn't of the closest variety. We're civil (for the most part), we're still together (out of habit, perhaps), but when I want advice or help, I turn to my friends, not my parents or my sister.
My aunt, Linnea, has always been somewhat of an issue for us. She's a wonderful person, and I couldn't ask for a more loving aunt. At the same time, her manic depression and fierce desire for independence cause difficulties.
It's odd how those who were the most stubborn and capable in their youth demand to retain their individualism in their age and incapacity. My grandfather is the same way; at the age of 95 he insists on living on his own 200 miles away from us, and still has a drivers' license (renewed upon his 90th birthday for eight years by the state of Wisconsin). He resists any attempt to take away his autonomy with both literal and figurative kicking and screaming.
Linnea has not yet reached this advanced state, yet her actions and unstable state suggest that she should not be living on her own. But she does, and resides in Ohio, rarely visiting us unless she gets into a scrape that requires outside assistance (which she seems to do frequently).
Her manic depression causes her to have far more manic states than depressed states. This may seem like a good thing initially, but her manic states are extremely frustrating to deal with. She will call all her friends and babble for hours excitedly, or more often, buy things.
As an extremely talented clarinet player for the critically acclaimed Cleveland Orchestra, she makes a good enough salary that her spending is justified; but it is still excessive and almost disturbing.
She lives alone. She owns two houses, more than three cars, and over five dogs. When I took up the cello in eighth grade as part of a required orchestra class, she bought me an antique cello. When I played the violin in the second grade for a year, she bought me two violins. When she strikes upon an impulse, she indulges it (the last time this happened, she bought an SUV).
The more possessions you have, the more it fills up your loneliness or emptiness, perhaps.
Families are complex entities. You don't choose whom you end up with, and you may often wish you were given a different lot upon birth. What is it really, that separates someone born into a loving but poverty-afflicted family and someone born into an upper middle class family stricken with divorce, drugs, and alcohol?
At the same time, our families shape so much of who we are. Most often, you don't appreciate your mother or father until they are gone. Even more often, you forget the good things (as small as they may seem) and dwell on the bad parts of your relatives' characters.
If you could change your family, would you?
On a lighter note, here is the aforementioned visual; I think we can all agree that my dog is the real camwhore here. She can sense a camera from five miles away, blindfolded, and somehow finds a way to sneak into every family picture we have ever taken.
User Reviews
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-06-16 07:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow you got old!
Submitted by Agent_Smith (user info) at 2004-06-06 23:42:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think your aunt bit Kramer.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-06-06 23:38:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
squirrel,
i have a friend who looks just like you, it's uncanny really.
she is the one of the biggest ditzes i have ever met, you surely are not. i guess thats where the resemblance stops.
(needless to say, she's really cute)
and iddqd, GOOD CALL! you got a big laugh out of me, she does look a bit like j.v
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-06-03 13:20:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
youre aunt look like jon voight.
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-05-31 06:09:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:30:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
God Damn your Aunt is hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He finally made me laugh.
Submitted by water (user info) at 2004-05-31 04:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you are all ugly
Submitted by atz (user info) at 2004-05-31 03:32:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Submitted by yes impersonator at 2004-05-22 16:28:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
i'd do all three of you...
...in the poopers!"
HA!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-05-30 11:50:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone has to say it..
I'd do you....
In the pooper
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-05-24 13:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that dog is holding a sex toy.
and please, tell your aunt to cross her legs and uncross yours.
thank you
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-22 16:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why thank you.
Submitted by Dufflady (user info) at 2004-05-22 16:35:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well your family passed you a few good things...nice legs for one.
Damn my family.
Submitted by yes impersonator at 2004-05-22 16:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'd do all three of you...
...in the poopers!
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-05-22 16:19:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice, erm, eyes.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-22 15:57:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Er...
Submitted by R.P.McMurphy (user info) at 2004-05-22 15:52:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
smart, cute, and articulate.
you are quite a catch darlin.
Submitted by Rainer (user info) at 2004-05-22 15:48:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:52:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
And IHAKF...eh?
---------------------------
What the fuck does that mean? Being that i have a job im not "down" with the "hip" street lingo. I can rarely ever "keep it real" anymore. Thanks.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You read bash.org,
I DO TOO!!
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-05-22 15:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like you could give some wicked head....
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-22 15:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well hcp, as tempting as swing dancing sounds, I am in the process of being taken.
In the process though, so hmmm. In the file you go.
I love random joes.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-22 14:54:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:34:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
That dog is bangable.
Oh, and that puppy is adorable.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2004-05-22 13:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:49:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
GO CUBS WOO!
---------------------------------------------
A girl after my own heart. Will you marry me? I can swing dance.
We'll just have to get rid of my girlfriend... then it will be just us.
Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-05-21 21:00:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations on linking this post from mine, you have WON. To claim your prize, click here http://www.ubersite.com/m/33787
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-05-20 22:26:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bullshit
Everyone is either German, Black, Mexican, or dead
Thats just the way it is
GO SOX WOO!!!!!
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-05-20 22:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
im italian, hungarian, french, welsh, scottish, german and english.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-20 22:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes, yes there are definitely death storms.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-05-20 22:16:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey viv, we're both under 18...
you dont have to wait...if you dont want to.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-05-20 22:12:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice doggie.
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-05-20 22:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"As for you habeeb, eh? I'm norwegian, swedish, welsh, english, armenian, lithuanian, gypsy, and danish, but no jewish..."
----------------------------
Jesus rat shit on a tricycle thats a lot of freaking races
Good ole German here
GO SOUTH SIDE WOO!!!!!!
Death storms are coming by the way
They prolly already wetted your Rolls, You northside fool
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-20 21:10:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice legs.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-05-20 20:00:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's make out
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-05-20 19:56:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What can I say, squirrel? You are the cutest!
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-05-20 19:37:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And here is ANOTHER GOOD POST from Squirrel.
Families sure are complex organisms. I guess I wouldn't actually change anything in mine but sometimes they drive me insane.
Your dog has almost got eyes as georgeous as yours Squirrel. Perhaps that is why she likes the camera so much.
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-05-20 18:38:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
your second picture looks like you're ready to kill that dog if he doesn't get out of the shot.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-20 18:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cam..
WHORE!
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-20 17:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I will be eighteen in...a little over eight months.
That makes me legal in most states, heh.
Submitted by cwl989 (user info) at 2004-05-20 17:46:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How old are you?
I gave you a +2, so you better answer.
Submitted by smithy32 (user info) at 2004-05-20 17:19:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my famly is really close, and i wouldnt change much
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-05-20 17:18:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, without her glasses you aunt bears a striking resemblence to John Voigt (Angelina Jolie's dad?). Sorry. Had to say it.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-20 17:18:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not apologizing, I didn't realize I did. In the first photo, I'm smiling with my teeth.
I think the origin has something to do with the fact that when I was little I always wanted dimples and when I smiled smaller I could get dimples. Now I'm just used to it.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-05-20 17:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, thanks for ignoring my question. So why don't you show your TEETH in photos?
Out with it.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-20 17:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HA! rb, okay. I always wear pigtails. Two, the shirt is some random post modern thing my sister found. It has a picture of a the shirt itself on it, if you look close. It's sposed to confuse you.
As for the granny panties comment, don't you know which one was my ass in the assmatcher post? eh? (24 I think).
In any case, I'm not sure i I was wearing panties in this picture.
This is where I am supposed to say WHAT?!?!
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-05-20 17:04:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh ok.
Last comment for the day;
Pig-tails, A shirt with yellow ducks on it(?), your probably wearing granny panties....leads me to believe....
WARNING WARNING WARNING
JAILBAIT JAILBAIT
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2004-05-20 17:03:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I look like your aunt. Woot.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HA km, wow.
Thanks everyone.
As for you reallybored, IHAKF stands for I_have_a_kristen_fetish. Aj and I use it cuz I can't type the _'s without extensive soul searching.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:52:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And IHAKF...eh?
---------------------------
What the fuck does that mean? Being that i have a job im not "down" with the "hip" street lingo. I can rarely ever "keep it real" anymore. Thanks.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like the farmers daughter that everybody wants to fuck, but can't, and you also look like you know this.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats on being hot.
And double congrats on being WAAAAAAAAAAY hotter than your aunt.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:49:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The pig-tails are a little goofy, but you look like a sweet girl.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:49:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
god, I want to fuck you until you come all over my sheets baby.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn you aaron, I was hoping no one would notice the way my parents decorate our house (antique prints, etc) and realize they're eurotrash wannabees.
As for you habeeb, eh? I'm norwegian, swedish, welsh, english, armenian, lithuanian, gypsy, and danish, but no jewish...
GO CUBS WOO!
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:45:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
eeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUROTRASH!
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No offence or anything, but your head is massive
It's massive and of the Jewish persuasion
I never realized this
Now I understand why you are a Northsider
GO SOX WOO!!
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:44:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh, I know reallybored, but the nickname squirrel actually was because I eat like a squirrel (two hands, and I'm always paranoid someone is going to take my food away; oh the traits that sibling rivalry breeds in).
And IHAKF...eh?
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's put it this way... I'm leaps and bounds among my mother's other children... That should say alot about my family...
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:41:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You really do look like a squirrel.
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:40:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i'd do the chick on the left if i wasn't engaged.
There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once -- shame on -- shame on you. You fool me, you can't get fooled again.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:40:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, you seem to be ashamed of/hiding your teeth. I do believe you'd have a very beautiful smile if you bared those pearly whites, yellows, or whatever they are. In not doing so, your smile is a tad sheepish.
So, Baaaaahhhh!
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:39:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahaH, thanks y'all.
I always get told I look like judy garland, but more ethic, I was wonderin how long it would take to get a dorothy ref.
Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:39:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you remind me of a girl I knew in elemantary school, amanda dickerson. She was very smart, and we had a rivalry in the class (elementary school) about who could answer more of the teachers questions. We would wave our hands and say "mmmmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmmm!" trying to get her (teacher's) attention. The teacher was a real bitch, though, then her son died in a car accident years later.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:38:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to be your panties
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:37:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
olas- i remember something about you not wanting to be called olas.....
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:36:16 (#)
Ranking: 1
i bet you make the next "Ubersite girls i'd like to suck the piss out of" list
----
I was thinking the same thing...
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i bet you make the next "Ubersite girls i'd like to suck the piss out of" list.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:35:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
On another side note, I'm almost positive my mom slept with the mailman, or I am adopted. I don't really seem to resemble the rest of my family in any way...
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:35:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Automatic +2 to whoever puts her head on Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.
Bonus +2 if you can get her dog's head on Toto.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:34:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree, families are complex, but my family wouldn't be the same if they weren't who they were. Even though my extended family are usually jackasses to each other, they're my family and i love them for who they are.
On a sidenote, Will you marry me?
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:34:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That dog is bangable.
Oh, and that puppy is adorable.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I love you, but what am I so afraid of?
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-20 16:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God Damn your Aunt is hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!