NBA Playoff Predictions from a guy who knows next to nothing about good old basketball (653 hits)
Category: SportsRating: -0.5 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by LedHead (View user info) at 2004-05-20 19:36:35 EDT
My basketball knowledge is limited to the Converse Chuck Taylor's I wear. I know he was a white guy who could hop like a black guy, and was a "baller". Living in Indiana, a big basketball state, I have had no choice but to watch a basketball game the other day. Since the Indina Pacer's are from my home state, I have no choice but to root for them. Now, here are the predictions from an underqualified person.
The game today, NJ Nets v. Detriot Pistons.
Well, I don't know what a Piston really is, but since they are from Detriot they are no doubt criminals that could kick my ass. I'm sure Roger Daltry could kick their asses, but that is a different story. New Jersey is for pussies, at least thats what I've heard, and a Net cannot beat a Piston, whatever that is. It appears the Pistons have more black guys than the Nets. Also, the Nets have a certain person named Jason Kidd, undoubtedly an offsprin of Billy the Kidd. Billy the Kidd was portrayed by Emileo Estevez in "Young Guns" 1 and 2, which are neat movies. He also plays the Might Ducks man, and they win in those movies. So that means that the Nets will win this game, and go on to play the Pacers.
Game 2. NJ Nets v. Indiana Pacers
Indiana is my home team, so that means they will not win. My home team never wins any sport. I acually watch a lot of football, and of course the goddamn Colts are a bunch of fruitcakes in the playoffs. The Nets have connections with Emileo Estevez, so how can they lose? I'll tell you how...Because I said so. Inidana Pacer win in 6 games.
Game 3. Minnesota Timberwolves v. LA Lakers
I hate LA and everything to do with it. It appears the good ol' Wolves have everything going for them. The MVP of the NBA, home-court advantage, and a white guy with a Polish name, POLISH POWER! LA on the other hand, have a guy who can't read or write, Shaq, and a sex offender, Kobe Byrant. There is no way the Wolves can lose this game, everything is going for them. Lakers will win the series in 7.
THE CHAMPIONSHIPS BABY! LA Lakers v. Indiana Pacers
Well, we've got my home team against the team I hate and would like to see die more than anything else in the world. I remeber that this was the championships a few years ago, because I jumped on the Pacers bandwagon then and rooted for them! That game ended in 6, a popular number. The Pacers had the best record this year, but the Lakers are gay. And as everyone knows from my past articles, gays go to hell. That means that the Lakers will be too busy burning to play. The Pacers win it all in 7 games.
Well, those are my predictions, which will come true. I would not count on it though, since I'm an idiot and don't know what I'm talking about. I do know that I kick ass, and I do know that you are an asshat, so go to hell bitch! You've wasted enough of you time, get the hell out of here jackass asshat.
This pic is of basketball legend Chuck Taylor, the white guy who can hop.
User Reviews
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-07-25 12:43:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess you guys didn't notice I said I know nothing about basketball. JOkes on you, I have two dads!
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-07-25 12:03:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Told you so.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-06-15 23:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha! The Lakers are getting their ASS beat
Submitted by arsenal <brooks81.at.msu.edu> at 2004-06-07 11:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you all. Pistons are gonna sweep the Lakers.
Well no. Not at all. But how fucking sweet would that be.
They did kick ass yesterday in game 1.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-05-23 17:51:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah Pistons suck. Die. BANG BANG BANG!
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-05-23 16:01:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Herpes-
Detriot sucks and Indiana is going to beat them...Already in game one that was proven...asshat
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-05-21 03:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Piss on this fucking turd. The only thing this guy DOES know is that dicks go in assholes.
Malone
Lucifer Industries LLC
Submitted by FearBenzene (user info) at 2004-05-21 00:12:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-05-21 00:03:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm a Detroiter... and fucking GLAD you know nothing about basketball. Everyone knew the pistons were going to beat the Nets. We just weren't sure how long it would take. As far as everyone from your home state losing, I hope that's true.
T-wolves should give the Lakers a run for their money, but will probably end up losing in 6 or 7 games. After the Pistons win in 5, they should have a nice little break before they have to play the physically exhausted Lakers. It will go to 6, with the Pistons winning at home.
Or at least I hope...
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-05-20 21:21:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No, that was terrible, try again.
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-05-20 20:07:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Welp, I don't know what an axle is either. Because I don't need to. I know what a chode is, YOU! BITCH FUCK. Stop listening to Death Metal, it's disgracing Zeppelin and Hendrix and other such bands. And stop sucking so much dick...Asshat
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-05-20 20:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Being a white trash mechanic has nothing to do with a basic knowledge of how cars work. Not knowing what a piston is is like not knowing what an axle is. You are a completely ignorant chodeface.
Secondly, I think that Led Zeppelin is the best band to have ever existed. I love Hendrix, the Who, Floyd, and various other classic rock bands. Looks like you're wrong again, dick.
Submitted by LedHead (user info) at 2004-05-20 20:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok genious jackass...Tell me this...how do you suck so bad? Because I'm not trailer trash and work on nothing but cars all day? I don't car about cars because mechanics fix them for me. If a mechanic does not know what Vicarious Liability is, then they come to me. If I don't know what a piston is, I go to them. Death Metal sucks too, so you have zero musical taste. Ignorant slut bag.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-05-20 20:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If there is a team left to beat LA it is the Pacers. As a Pacer fan my heart says they win in 7, but my head says LA in 6.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-05-20 19:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
How can you not know what a piston is? Add cars to the list of subjects about which you are absolutely ignorant, a list that includes basketball and sexuality, thus far.
The Pacers will be destroyed by the Nets, the Wolves will be destroyed by the Lakers, and the Nets will be destroyed by the Lakers.
Oh, and for any Sacto fans, KINGS SUCK, BITCH. Your only comfort is that you didn't get to be violently raped in the ass by the Lakers.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-20 19:51:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lakers shall win in 6 ya fool
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-05-20 19:51:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There's no one left that can beat Los Angeles. San Antonio was the best team in the league this year and they're history thanks largely to a miracle.
Barring injury, I can't see the conference finals nor the finals taking more than 11 games before Karl Malone gets his ring.