I'm the baby... or... why pops won't let me take his car (611 hits)
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Rating: 0.72 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Porn Nugget (View user info) at 2004-05-21 12:14:46 EDT
I'm not allowed to drive the boat. Well, that's wrong. I'm allowed to drive the boat as long as there aren't many other boats or jet skiiers on the lake, and as long as my dad is on the boat, and as long as he stands next to me.
The reason this doesn't bother me is because I can't parallel park a boat. I can probably parallel park a car better than my dad, thanks to living in the city... but the boat is a different story.
When I first got my licence, I was a hellian. Not just in regards to driving and cars... but with everything. I was a pain in the ass, I'm well aware. My poor parents, right? (what doesn't kill you helps you grow, remember that, mom).
My first car caught on fire. It wasn't my fault. I skipped school, and went to Taco Bell. When I got home, the car caught fire. It was a big dramatic ordeal... complete with fire trucks and sirens... me fainting in the front yard... but, I'll have you know- I had that car for 6 months, and it didn't have a scratch on it!!
Then I was allowed to use my parents Tempo. Yes, every few weeks a new random dent appeared. I honestly don't know where these dents came from... none of them happened while I was in or near the car. I was always caught off gaurd when my dad came storming into the house, ranting about my lack of respect, and the like... Pulling me outside to point at a new dent. I probably shouldn't have gotten into the habit of leaving the car parked at random places while I hung out with friends... but still... No Accidents!
***
I saved up money, and bought a truck. A Purple Ranger. No Accidents. (and my car payment was only $160 a month!!)
Then I got my cougar. Three accidents. This was a total fluke. Stupid red cars. I was rear-ended twice, and someone t-boned me (kinda) once... of the three accidents, none were my fault, or avoidable.
I had a gold ranger for a bit... No Accidents.
Now I have a Golf... No Accidents.
***
If I ever happen to be visiting my parents, and I have somewhere to go, I always ask to take my dads car. He has two Mustangs, a Ranger, and an F250. No matter which car I want to drive, the conversation goes like this:
"Dad, can I use your car to run up to the gas station?"
"NO!"
"Dad, come on! It's just around the corner, I'm a good driver!"
"NO!"
"Daaaad! Please, you never let me drive your car... Christy gets to."
"NO! SHUT UP!"
"Dad. Come on. I'm almost 30, and I've NEVER drove poorly, can I please just take your car? Mines blocked in."
"Dammit Corinne, NO! Get your sister to move my car out of the way, and just take your car."
"Fine, I'll just move your car."
"NO, have your sister do it!"
"DAD!"
"NO!"
***
I can manuver a Taurus out of a tiny, overpacked lot in Ann Arbor, fully in reverse.
I can parallel park on a main street, without pissing off the people behind me.
I've never had a speeding ticket.
All this, and I drive for at least an hour each day... both in city and on the highway.
YET I'm not allowed to drive my dads car.
No matter how old I am, I'll always be a baby. Ah, shucks... the luck of being the youngest child.
User Reviews
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-05-22 19:03:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When my mother was 17, she scraped the side of her father's car on the side of a stone wall by the driveway as she backed out.
She's almost 43 now, and her dad still doesn't trust her backing out of his driveway. I guess some things never go away.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-05-22 18:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
porn, i notice you've ignored my incredibly witty remark about the 'man in the boat'
just out of interest, do you know what is meant by 'man in the boat'?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-05-21 23:27:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh stupid me... I misread your comment, Loren... and then, well, I argued your point for you.
Yay me.
I think I just have PMS and felt like arguing...
My bad. I retract. Man I hate PMS.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-05-21 23:09:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do YOU find it disturbing, Loren?
Do you really?
Tell me about it... go on, grab a chair... cozy up... I'd love to hear more!
I think it's realitivly normal to either:
a)want to drive a car nicer than mine.
b)not want to move all the cars in the drive around when I'm blocked in.
***
Perhaps it sounded like I was crying, but the truth of the matter is that I always whine. Similar to how some people always bitch, or always moan, or always argue, or... well, you see my point, I'm sure.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-05-21 17:05:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-05-21 15:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fetish: is the mustang the one with the bloody seat?
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-05-21 15:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Only four people have driven my mustang...
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-05-21 15:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, not the only one by any means.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-05-21 13:35:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It has NOTHING to do with being "the baby" - I'm the youngest of 7, and was never treated like that.
Ever think the treatment befits the fact that you're admittedly almost THIRTY and you're still crying to your daddy to use his car(s)???
Am I the only one who finds this disturbing?
I refuse to let my father drive my car.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-05-21 13:04:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-05-21 12:19:43 (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 cause my sister drives like shit but thinks she can drive
~~~~~~~~
ditto
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-05-21 13:03:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
theres' some kind of 'man in the boat' subtext here, isnt there porn?
the fact that its your dad who is the 'man in the boat' is a bit distrubing
i can see why you and that mummy-lover apollo get on so well
now i really AM off to my basket
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-05-21 12:41:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes, thank you for +0 for my name! It's so flattering.
That comment alone stopped me from killing myself over not being able to drive my dads car.
Thank you.
Really.
Submitted by iamhewhoisnot (user info) at 2004-05-21 12:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
for the name
otherwise...sorry you feel so bad about something insignificant
Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2004-05-21 12:23:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-05-21 12:19:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 cause my sister drives like shit but thinks she can drive
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-05-21 12:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't care how good of a driver you, or anyone else is. Nobody drives my baby but me. Unless I'm totally fucking incoherent drunk, or on a cross-country-no-stopping-for-sleep road trip.