Pig Ears And My Dog (962 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Darth <Smeagol.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-05-21 14:37:09 EDT
Abby's addiction started a few months ago. While shopping at Target, I took a spin through the Pet section. One Dog toy caught my eye. "l'oreille de boeuf de prime!" the bag exclaimed in French. Beef ears eh? Why the bag had French on it, I have no idea, but it sold me. I picked up a sac of beef ears, which suspiciously looked like pig ears and continued on.
Little did I know what I was getting into. Abby the dog enjoyed the delicious French ears, and soon enough I needed another bag. I purchased three bags this time, so I wouldn't have to return to the crowded store for a month or two.
The first bag was devoured in one week. Soon enough Abby found out where the other two bags were kept, she would sit at the closet door clawing and barking until she got her next hit. Only one thing was on Abby's little doggy mind, getting her next beef ear fix.
Then things got worse. Abby built a tolerance to whatever the crazy frenchies were putting in the ears. She would only eat the ear for a few minutes then bark for another. She became obsessed, stopped playing with the Frisbee and cut off relations with other doggys. Soon, my own dog was mugging me. No ones ankles were safe from Abby's wrath unless she had an ear to calm her down.
She is out of control. The house has become gang turf. She controls the living and dining room, and is taking the fight to the kitchen. The dog I see is just a shell of her former self.
The ears have ruined her life.
Fellow dog owners, talk to your dogs about the dangers of beef and pig ears. Warn them, they will listen.
User Reviews
Submitted by schulte123 (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:01:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-05-21 23:06:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pig earsssss.... yessss... my precioussss... it it crunchable? Is it tasty..? Nassssty, cruel Hobbitses...
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-05-21 16:41:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha! I know exactly how you feel.
If my dog wants a fix she turns into one serious little bitch. (No pun intended.)
Submitted by iamhewhoisnot (user info) at 2004-05-21 16:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
pig ear::cow ear
beef ear::pork ear
other than that..funny stuff
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-05-21 16:29:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This conjures amusing images of hallmarked bags of ears, changing hands in dark alleyways. "Psst. Psst. You wan ears man? I got great ears man, uncut, get you reeaal high man, $20 a bag, $180 a bundle."
Submitted by slowlyrotting (user info) at 2004-05-21 15:14:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-12-06 17:59:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
You look a little like Darth Vader except awesomer.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-21 15:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
sorry my bad, I re read it and saw the french beef ears part.
I've never seen any such beef ears though, just pig ears.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-05-21 15:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'"l'oreille de boeuf de prime!" the bag exclaimed in French. Beef ears eh? Why the bag had French on it, I have no idea, but it sold me. I picked up a sac of beef ears, which suspiciously looked like pig ears and continued on.'
learn to read.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-05-21 15:12:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The lable said beef, I said it looked like Pig. Idiot.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-21 15:10:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"Only one thing was on Abby's little doggy mind, getting her next beef ear fix"
ummmmmmmmmmmm????
please tell me you don't really think pigs are beef.
Submitted by Luther (user info) at 2004-05-21 14:41:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh my gosh, those things smell SO foul when they're half-chewed and slobbered on and left in the middle of the floor on a hot summer's day. The smell is unbearable and it lingers for WEEKS!