Advice from the Uber World (557 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.58 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Moonshine (View user info) at 2004-05-22 02:34:40 EDT
I'm kind of amazed at myself for even writing this, but the truth is that I need advice and I don't know who I could go to among my friends for this. I need an objective opinion and I need an opinion from someone who has the experience to form one; anyone I can think of to ask is either too close to the people involved or isn't going to be able to help much.
I was hoping to remain a commenter along the lines of mystiamoon and firefly. Oh, well. That dream will now be carefully crushed and placed in my collection next to my dream of becoming a superstar rock chick and my dream of trapezing naked at the Cirque du Soleil while high on jello body shots licked off a carny's back... wait, you aren't supposed to know about that one.
Anyway, okay, on to the point -- or, rather, the problem.
As some of you might have seen on Reallybored's "Sex Number" post, I am a 0. Actually, I'm freakin' amazing, but my sex number _is_ still 0. Basically, I just haven't met the right person yet. It's not so much that I'm waiting for gooey movie love, it's more like I'm just waiting for the person who feels right to me. In the meantime, there have been people I've wanted that haven't wanted me, and there have been people who wanted me who I just wasn't interested in, and there have been some people where... things just never worked out properly.
_She_ is one out of the last category. I've liked her since I met her eight months ago; five months ago, she told me she liked me. She was dating someone at the time, someone I wouldn't even try to cockblock, so I held back and was rewarded when they broke up soon after. Sounds great, right? Except that we both suck at relationships: she's an enormous (possibly even ginormous) flake and I do not have the most self-esteem in the world, which can make me needy. She kept flaking out on me, missing dates and accidentally forgetting about me in all sorts of ways, and I finally lost it and we just stopped even trying at a relationship.
I should also note that she's a senior, I'm a freshman. She's graduating in 20-something days and I'm leaving for a Bloomsday trip to Ireland in 19. This makes things even more wonderful, I'm sure you can imagine.
Now here is the problem: I have come to realize that this is the girl I want to be my first time. There is no one I can think of that I want more than her, despite everything that's happened. The fact is that I trust her more than almost anyone, and I think that has to be the most important thing when it comes to sex.
If I know she's such a flake, how can I say I trust her, you may ask? Well, I know I damn well can't trust her to keep a date, or remember anything important, or choose me over her other ten gajillion friends; she's just that kind of person. But I _do_ trust that she cares about me, that she won't ever purposely hurt me, that she could, in a certain way, take care of me.
A relationship would never, ever work between us, and even if it would we probably only have 19 or so days left to even be around each other. I would also never, ever try to have a long-distance relationship with a girl like this. But I know I love her and I want to be with her, if only for one night, if only because I know she could make my first time what it's "supposed" to be.
Should I even try to ask her to do this? Is there any possible way I can basically ask this girl to have a one-night stand with me before she graduates? Obviously it means more to me than that, and I'm hoping I can communicate that to her. I'm also pretty sure she still has feelings for me, but I don't know if that will be enough for her to base something like this on.
This was disgustingly long, I'm sorry. But if any of you are still reading, what do you think I should do? Should I forget about it, watch her probably leave my life completely, and wait however long for the next right person to come along? Or should I take my chances, ask her, and risk freaking her out, getting rejected, or even worse pressuring her into something she doesn't want to do? Men and women of uber -- I ask you!
Also, to make up for the length, here's a picture of a kitten. Because we all love the pussy.
What? It's cute.
User Reviews
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-05-31 02:57:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I wouldn't, that coming from someone else whos sex number also happens to be 0.
Just keep waiting would be my advice, you'll find the right someone.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-05-31 02:43:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Go with the flow?
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-05-27 12:20:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Should I even try to ask her to do this?
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What do you have to lose? Besides your virginity, that is...
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-05-27 12:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That looks almost exactly like the kitten I just got.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-05-27 11:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Basically, I just haven't met the right person yet."
I haven't, either. You have nothing to lose. If she says no, you've lost nothing. If she says yes, you've gained something.
You can do it.
Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2004-05-22 16:08:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus 2 for making me think about hot girl on girl sex.
Submitted by fryfrug (user info) at 2004-05-22 15:54:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Nobody likes their first time. It is all awkard and goofy. You will look back and say what the fuck was I thinking. If she is a flake, let her go. You are going to find someone else to fuck. It is not a big deal.
Submitted by Fixer (user info) at 2004-05-22 12:54:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You worry about nothing.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-22 04:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
rape her.
Submitted by indigogecko (user info) at 2004-05-22 04:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Talk to her, get her to read a copy of this IF you think she'll take it seriously... though I'd suggest editing out the bit about her being a flake. Insulting her is not a good way to get her into bed even if it *is* true.
And.. kitty! aaaaw.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:52:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So send her to look at this, and while she is, broach the subject.
You have nothing to lose, and everything to win, right? So what's keeping you from tossing the dice on this gamble?
If they're that important to you, do not fail to let them know it.
You're assigning so much value to the fact she's graduating, that you're making yourself sound like a scared kid trying to ask her to the prom.
Come on now, where's the girl who was blasting my conservative views on the sex number post?
I like a woman who knows what she wants. Doesn't everyone? What makes it even more attractive, is knowing she's not afraid to ask for it. Not talking soley about sex, either.
Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:46:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If all goes well, we will be expecting pictures.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:22:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AIM: maiorano84
I'm such a clever lad
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:20:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy hell, actually, I do!
Connecticut, to be exact
Submitted by kireisarah (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahaha, thank you anyway, Matt. I figured it wouldn't make a difference what username I posted as --I've had this username for years on various sites and people still think I'm a guy for some reason. You'd think "SARAH" would give it away, but no.
And hey, if you're still up for that threesome, you don't live anywhere in the New England area, do you...? ;-)
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:06:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
welp, nevermind. You just said, "I'm a female".
Fucking hell, you might as well put it up on a sign with fireworks and neon lights, and I'd still wonder where to look..... silly me
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:06:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well can't you just start a little make-out session and see where it goes?
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:05:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dude, its just sex, just fuck someone and realise that its all just biology, not some religious epiphany.
your body is the most wonderful instrument youll ever own, use it every way you can (not my words)
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:05:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Sarah hun I believe you now.
As you can tell in my first reply I was not aware this was you under Moonshine.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:04:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait.....
Are you a guy or a girl!? Well, since I can't tell, I'll offer you an answer depending on which sex you happen to be:
Guy - Go for it. Just ask her, and if you're shot down..... well, you tried.
Girl - Holy hell, this sounds unbelievably hot. Tell you what: I'll buy a plane ticket, I'll fly down to wherever you are, and we'll both convince that other fine piece of womanflesh into a hot sticky threesome. Awwww yeaaaaa.
Submitted by kireisarah (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:03:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, also, it's totally not malarkey. The fact that I posted at all says that -- like I said, I was going to stay a permanent lurker/commenter, but I couldn't figure out where else to go with this. If it were shenanigans I would have been WAY more obvious about it (a la JewToast, I love to hate that guy).
Thanks for the advice so far anyway, all. I probably am too tense about this but I just can't stand the thought that I'm going to miss this chance with this amazing girl. I'm really picky so I don't know when this sort of thing is going to come along again.
Submitted by kireisarah (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:00:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1) Yes, female. We're both bisexual, I _know_ that's not going to be an issue.
2) College. Sexually active highschool freshmen scare me.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-22 03:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if it's high school you are too young.
if its college and it's another woman then i really can't help i haven't been in that situation.
I would however imagine if its another woman then try and bring it up in a beat around the bush(no pun intended) kind of way and just feel out her vibes and see if she seems into it.
sorry hun thats all i got in the girl on girl dept.
which is a whole lot of nothing.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-22 02:56:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oops FEMALE.
shit you changed up the name
are we talking high school or college here?
that changes everything.
Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-05-22 02:54:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just ask her over for a few drinks before you graduate or leave or whatever. Sounds like your making it out to be something bigger than it really is. You just need to relax, sounds like you both like each other so there shouldn't be a problem.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-22 02:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for mentioning me
+2 for being a freshman guy who got the attention of a senior female.
-2 because I get a vibe that this may be malarkey.
Anyway.
Coming right out and asking for it is not a good idea.
You are only a freshman you have plenty of time. Dont be in such a hurry.
thats my advice. You are too young.
Submitted by schulte123 (user info) at 2004-05-22 02:41:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Even though it was in the romance category I dont want to hear about your problems. We all have them bottle them up until you get a disease. Nice kitten though.