Numero Uno (532 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.54 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tenyuki (View user info) at 2004-05-22 12:39:14 EDT
Allow me to introduce myself. My name's Geoff. It's pronounced like the Toys'R'Us giraffe's name... which is "Jeff" for those that weren't Toys'R'Us kids. I was ill-advised to mention that this would be my first entry. I was also ill-advised to not treat people like shit, but hey, since when do teenagers do what they're told?
Introductions are bitches, I know, but they have to be done. You just can't go up to a girl and say "Hey, I want to sex you up so bad right now. If you agree to have relations with me, not only will I pay you, but I'll make you feel better about yourself. Oh, what's that? You're a guy? No, I didn't notice you were lacking any physical proof that you were a chick. No, I didn't even look at you. I was staring at that poster for the upcoming Harry Potter movie the whole time I was talking to you. Man, that Hermoine chick is getting hotter after every movie." See, this is why introductions are important. Eye contact is also an important trait that all people should have.
I can't, for the life of me, look someone in the eye when we talk. It's so fucking weird. "Look, I know that you know that I want to get in your pants, but please, don't stare into my soul. It's fucking creepy." Of course, to every rule, there's an exception or two... or fifteen hundred.
Anyways, I was brought to this site by a lovely friend of mine. Being the typical teenager that I am, I was feeling angsty and needed to do something to occupy my mind, since the last tenant decided she wanted to move out for a little bit. That, my friends, is what women call a "break from the relationship". I'm getting off-topic here, so let me get back on topic.
I'm new to the site. I've read a few of the stories here, and some of them are pretty funny. Others are full of shit. There's more shit in them than on my ex-girlfriend's two front teeth. That's a lot, for those of you that don't know a certain brunette that graces the hallways of Jones College Prep with her nasty breath and fucked up teeth.
What was the point of all this? I guess it's to get all of you guys used to my nonsensical form of writing. Also to brace yourself to the essence that is Seckz Appeal. (That's me!) This is entry number one. Keep all hands, legs, and other body parts outside of the coaster at all times, in hopes that, perhaps, one of them will be severed completely, so that I can laugh at your misery and make myself feel better.
User Reviews
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-05-23 11:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Tenyuki (user info) at 2004-05-22 17:45:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Obviously not if I'm gonna mention it all out of the blue and randomly. That Hermoine chick is getting hotter. Seriously.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-22 17:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You have a problem with Harry Potter?
Submitted by Dufflady (user info) at 2004-05-22 16:25:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
-1 instead of -2 for rolling with the 'die fucker'. Just hang in there.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-22 15:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Aw, come on now matty dahhling, be nice.
Geoff just made the mistake of mentioning his teenagerness and doing an intro post, I'm sure I've seen worse.
Submitted by Tenyuki (user info) at 2004-05-22 15:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, it seems to me that a robot is instructing others to kill me. Excellent.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-05-22 14:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"I was also ill-advised to not treat people like shit, but hey, since when do teenagers...
ERRR ERRRR ERRRRR ERRRR ERRRRR
BEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
WARNING! WARNING! TEENAGER MAKING POST!!!
COMMENCING -2 ACTION!
INSTRUCTING FUCKER TO DIE:
die, fucker.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-05-22 14:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Tenyuki (user info) at 2004-05-22 14:03:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Seckz Appeal is an inside thing I got with a friend. Come on, I'm betting you have some kick ass nickname like "Purple Nipple Hair" or some shit like that. Damn, now that I think about it, I wish I had "Purple Nipple Hair". Goddammit.
Submitted by Fixer (user info) at 2004-05-22 13:47:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"Also to brace yourself to the essence that is Seckz Appeal"
Dear god.
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-05-22 13:33:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well written. Have a metaphorical cookie.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-22 13:18:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Woot for geoff, but can't plus two you because this is an intro post.
Sheesh, you gotta have a topic to write about buddy.
But yay! grammar and spelling and spacing! Come on people, how many first posts have that!
Submitted by Tenyuki (user info) at 2004-05-22 12:44:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, the Gee-Off thing is good. My friends call me that all the time. It sounds too much like jag off. My personality is enough for them to call me a jag off, so why should I give them more reason to call me a jag off?
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-05-22 12:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You should pronounce your name as Gee-Off. Then you can tell everyone that they're pronouncing it wrong and call them morons.
Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2004-05-22 12:42:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Homer: I want everyone to know that this is Ned Flanders ... my
friend!
Lenny: What'd he say?
Carl: I dunno. Somethin' about being gay.
Homer Loves Flanders