Please check the box next to “alcoholic.” (778 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.77 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Cassiopeia (View user info) at 2004-05-22 18:12:08 EDT
I need to stop.
Today I realized something. I really realized that I have become an alcoholic.
I'm at work right now, still extremely hung over, I can actually still feel like I have a small buzz, and I am ashamed. Just yesterday my supervisor told me that I'm his strongest troop (not scary body builder strong you idiot) and then I go and pull this shit almost every fucking night.
Since my boyfriend went to Baghdad, I guess you could say that I've slipped into some sort of depression. All I ever do is eat, sleep, work, and now my newest addition... drink. Usually it starts out as me roaming around, bored out of my mind, and my friends always offer me a drink. So of course I accept, and it begins.
I drink to forget about my troubles, I drown them out with everything from beer, to vodka, to Jose... anything that's available. I think that it's okay to party, as long as you don't take it overboard. I take it overboard every fucking time, I cannot control myself. I drink myself to oblivion every night. And now it's beginning to affect my job.
The last two Saturdays that I worked, I slept through all 4 of my alarms, plus all the phone calls of my coworkers trying to get me into fucking work. To wake me up, they need to physically send someone over to my place and pound my door down. I've been late the past 2 Saturdays. I oversleep because I'm fucked out of my mind, then I wake up in a rush, still reeking of alcohol and cigarettes, and go to work.
I know that I still smell of alcohol, but nobody has said anything to me about it yet. I usually have a polished appearance at work, today I threw my hair back and took my uniform off the floor and wore it to work. I still can feel that stupidity in my brain that tends to arise when I drink, I cant get it to go away. My eyes are still glazed and bloodshot as hell. I wont even look anyone in the eye. I know I look like shit today. I know I was late. I know I still smell like booze. And it's 5 in the afternoon.
Yes ladies and gents, I think I can finally admit it. Please check the box next to "alcoholic."
I need to stop.
User Reviews
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-05-31 15:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can relate
Submitted by lookorex (user info) at 2004-05-27 02:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I tell ya what, come find me if you ever feel like drinking, and we'll watch a movie instead...
-Comfort
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-05-23 13:29:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff, and good luck: I found myself in a similar situation some time back, and have barely touched a drink for two years. Having become addicted to, and given up, pretty much everything over the course of time, I can honestly say that alcohol is the best, as with every passing day one immediately feels better, in contrast to, say, opiates or cocaine.
This in itself is pretty compelling, and unless you have some very deep-seated, and very solid issues driving you, you should find it pretty easy. The main problem is the social acceptability of the thing: it's not as if one has to shoot up behind a toilet or furtively rail coke somewhere. People tend to be pretty insensitive too, "go on, one won't hurt", so I found the best thing was to claim some sort of kidney infection - people tend to respect abstinence due to that nore than abstinence over addcition. Still, no matter, and the very best of luck.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-05-23 09:58:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am proud of you for recognising that you need to stop. A bottle is so easy. It's so easy to forget when you have a drink in your hand. I know. I hear you. And sometimes, yeah, when you need to forget for just one night, it's great to be able to do so. But not every night. Not so it takes over your world. You have a hard road ahead of you. But if you are strong enough to admit your problem, you are strong enough to beat it.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your boyfriend. May he come home soon and safe.
Submitted by simplychilled (user info) at 2004-05-23 09:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck to you
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-05-23 01:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You desperately miss your boyfriend, and you seem like a bar hopper anyway. You should probably just relax for a bit, and write, or something. You'te probably just looking for something to fill the void.
Submitted by Papajoe (user info) at 2004-05-23 01:06:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet sweet booze. Curse them all! Good luck Cass, I know what its like trying to fill a hole in your life with something like alchohol, so I hope you can get out of that cycle easier than I did.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-05-23 00:27:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-05-23 00:10:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck Cass. You know you're still a +2 in our books.
Stop worrying so much about your boyfriend. If he's smart enough to catch you, he's smart enough to stay out of trouble over here.
I know it doesn't seem like much, but it's something that is eating at you.
Talk to hidden, other than asking you for sex, he's probably got a few tips for you on what he's done to clean up and replace the habit.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-05-22 20:48:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cheers, dahlin.
And I say that in the weird Josie sense of "well done."
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-22 20:11:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-05-22 20:07:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good for you babe, recognizing something like this is the first step.
Best of fucking luck to you, i've been going through the nondrinking/drinking/nondrugging/drugging battle for about 3 years now. (3 years since I realized that it wasn't something i needed to continue doing, a few years of hard use before that.)
It is going to take effort, cass. i know you can do it
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-05-22 19:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GreaterThanBest (user info) at 2004-05-22 19:03:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Nobody cares at Mc Donalds how you look
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Uh I dont work at fucking mcdonalds (unless they have some kind of internet hookup on those cash registers, but i dont know)
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-05-22 19:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good thing you finally realized your problem.
Well wishes.
Submitted by GreaterThanBest (user info) at 2004-05-22 19:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nobody cares at Mc Donalds how you look. I am sure there are alot worse people than you. At least you put your hair back. The last time i went to Mickey D's the lady's hair was out of control and it got on my cheeseburger. Now that was ssome bullshit.
Submitted by Dufflady (user info) at 2004-05-22 18:44:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I can't say I know where you are coming from since I don't drink but best of luck and props for recognizing the problem.
Submitted by Captain-Cretin (user info) at 2004-05-22 18:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Have a few to blur the edges then switch to coke for the rest of the night.
This works with everything except Southern Comfort, if you stop drinking that before the end of the night your head explodes.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2004-05-22 18:33:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
best of luck... and i'll pick up the slack on your drinking ;)
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-05-22 18:30:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks maiorano
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-05-22 18:27:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck, Cass.