Back in the day. (906 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.35 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by K.M (View user info) at 2004-05-24 17:33:51 EDT
So I'm in one of these French casino bars with two friends, and this night just isn't working out. Whoever said that the best way to get something off of your mind is to open your soul to this shit, had not a clue what they were talking about. The mechanics of this are always the same; granted, nobody else has an ounce of shame in this day and age.
It is midnight and the bartenders are already trying to shortchange me, because I'm all fucked up inside and out, and these bastards have a sixth sense for these things. If a shark can smell a drifting drop of blood a mile away, then these motherfuckers could sense me coming long before I crossed the border. Hand them a 50 for 3 drinks at 5 bucks a pop in a dark room, one each for you and two of your friends, and you get three 5 dollar bills back. Logic dictates that the more bills you give stoned Ontarian swine like me, the more money I'll think it is.
I can see it happen, but there's no point in fighting it at the moment. Because the second that cash goes into the register and the other gambling perverts start clamoring for service, you're beat, especially when you're in the state of mind that I am. Because these fucking bartenders, they just have to snap a finger and the legal goons with headsets and clenched quarter rolls will be beating the fuck out of three shroomers on the edge of a French dance floor for starting shit in a legitimate place of business.
I'm aware of all this, but I'll still look at him, smile, and I give him the 15 bucks change for his Tip anyway.
He smiles back.
This is how he makes rent on his double wide trailer in the park a few miles away, and keeps his icebox full of Lunchables for his three daughters and junkie wife.
Walking past the dance floor, I stop for a moment because I feel as if I should be videotaping this. Then I feel I should put the videotape into the film slot, and have this scene played on every single one of the 100 or so televisions peering at us from every angle of the place. It's more interesting than sports or races or anything else for that matter. These Dancers are the cream of the theatrical crop, and they love what they do and they do it well.
It's not so bad if you set the tripod up a dozen meters back or so, zoom out, and get a wide angle shot of the entire set. Then it's almost beautiful. A sea of people not unlike you gyrating in not unlike motions as the persons next to them. The floor is only lit by black lights, and the purple fluorescence is reflected back as incandescent whites. Friend One lifts his 16 dollar rye and ginger and says
"Man, just forget about her and have a good time"
but I hold my hand up for silence, because the tripod concept is boring me and I'm going in for a better shot. Walking amongst and zooming in on the individuals, this whole scene falls apart and I can see what that Christian was screaming at us outside for, warning us to stay away. I realize that individually, these people are so fucking ugly that I'll break into a cold sweat, swaying on my feet and trying to keep my chest from tightening further and strangling this night of Good Times.
The look on this guys face as he grinds this 18 year old girl, the look on this girls face as she grinds back. Visages twisted into feral snarls, as if they were fucking in some shitty hotel room that charges by the hour downtown. Friend two says
"That girl, right there, she is more of your type anyway. I have to take a piss."
and then I'm in one of these French cabs with Friend One, almost inconsolable.
User Reviews
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-06-15 02:32:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm going to be fair and give a 1. Simply because I think your exceptionally talented and this feels a bit half assed. Don't worry, I assure you this is better then 90% of current ubersite material.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-29 00:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-05-28 21:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hell, I was thinking of you when I wrote "icebox".
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-05-28 18:56:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Horrible piece of crap.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-05-25 01:00:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hell I liked it and that's all I care about.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-05-25 00:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i was worried that that would be the main beef, that this was too fear and loathing. when i was writing this, i really only liked the way the words seemed to be coming together. they just really seemed to bounce off each other well, for some reason. this obviously lacks a lot of everything that's needed for a story, but that's probably because this took 15 minutes to write and I just enjoyed doing it. it's really just a few memories that sounded decent on paper.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-05-24 23:34:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-05-24 17:47:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
blech. not your best work. actually, i liked it up until the end, but if there was something I disliked then it wasn't you at your best.
the end got a little too hunter thompson, except not, if you get what i mean. overall a nice piece, i think razors "0" is a tad harsh. i have certainly read better by you. this post just seeemed to miss something. not like an explosion or some dramatic event, it was just missing some... thing. i dont know what it is, though sorry.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-05-24 23:04:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had to read the end twice, but I'm really tired. You get a +2 anyway.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-05-24 21:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2004-05-24 20:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-05-24 18:45:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-05-24 17:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
blech. not your best work. actually, i liked it up until the end, but if there was something I disliked then it wasn't you at your best.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-05-24 17:42:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
okay the one that was there the first time....why didn't I cut & paste...was priceless
in reference to your post. But because I am such a dumb shit...it's gone.
Submitted by iamhewhoisnot (user info) at 2004-05-24 17:40:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well written and excellent use of the language....
in the words of a drive through operator never seen and repeatedly heard,
"and then"
but apparently, no and then
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-05-24 17:40:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
is that Simpsons quote random?
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-24 17:39:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmm