Spontaneous (672 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.22 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mizuchoudai (View user info) at 2004-05-25 09:38:50 EDT
My walk to work should be boring, but today it wasn't.
I have "regulars" that I say Hello to, we take the courtesy 5 seconds to comment on the weather, and move on.
So approaches one of my regulars
(some background on this guy before we let him speak--he's in his early 30s,
moved here about 3 months ago, has average looks
(you wouldn't pick him out of a crowd or a line-up): Hi, how are you today?
Me: Good. At least the rain has stopped.
Average Shmoe: Yes, that is good.
Now, that should be the end. The 5 seconds are up and I start walking again.
Average Shmoe stops me with: Hey, are you spontaneous?
Me: What?
Average Shmoe: are you spontaneous?
Me: Um...(how the hell do you answer this?
"No, I plan out everything down to my last bathroom visit."
"Yes, let's go to Paris right now!"
I decide that Um is my Final Answer and leave it trailing there.)
Average Shmoe: Well, if you were a spontaneous person,
you would come back with me to my house. It's just right around the corner.
Me: You mean, NOW? (Obviously, I *know* what spontaneous means.)
Average Shmoe: Yeah, c'mon. It doesn't have to take long.
(This is not a proposition for good-atmosphere-at-the-bar-one-night-stand sex.
This is stranger-quickie at 8 in the morning.
I start looking around for something to save me, start wondering
if hookers have started to wear khakis and sweatshirts
and that's why he's soliciting me for sex. I hit upon my brilliant excuse.)
Me: That's ok. I'm late for work.
I wish I had had a better exit line, but that was it. Of course,
once I stopped running and caught my breath,
I had a slew of things I woulda-shoulda-coulda said.
I guess I'll save them for tomorrow's walk.
User Reviews
Submitted by crazy_horses (user info) at 2004-05-25 14:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
cough*shit*cough
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-25 12:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is a +0 story if I ever saw one.
Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2004-05-25 12:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-05-25 11:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
please end your life.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-05-25 10:45:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OMG OMG OMG, someone HIT on me!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOG!!!!!!
Submitted by Ccenzo (user info) at 2004-05-25 10:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmm, I agree.
Submitted by WRECKER (user info) at 2004-05-25 10:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You could always be spontaneous on the way home from work and walk into traffic.
That would make up for this.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-05-25 10:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry. Full of suck.
Submitted by Ccenzo (user info) at 2004-05-25 10:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know what this story deserves, and i'm not sure what point you're trying to get across, or even if there's some kind of hidden moral to this story. So this is what you get.