Hooray, I've got a stalker!! (799 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -1.4 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SammySam <LWSamways.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2004-05-27 03:57:19 EDT
Lee,
Hey this is prolly gonna make me look like I'm 16 or what not.. But my name is Allie... I'm one of the girls that bowled next to you and your buddy.... I'm not sure if you remember who I am.. But it hit me after you two left who you were. I used to work at Sears with you, WAY BACK WHEN...lol.... But I just thought I'd email you to say hey... LOL.... And maybe sometime we could hang out or whatever. If you want you can email me back.... Otherwise I just wanted to say it was nice seeing you again..... Also, my sister, *** (sisters name), thought your buddy was pretty cute... Well maybe I'll talk to you soon.
***** ***********
(I'll leave the name out cause I'll post her e-mail but I'm not dick enough to post her name.)
I shit you not, this is the actual e-mail I received. I have quite a feeling of accomplishment knowing that I am so great that I can drive a girl to:
A. - E-mail me after simply bowling in the lane next to me.
B. - E-mail me even though I did not carry on any conversation other than "no, you can go first".
C. - Figure out what my last name is after 6 years of not talking to me once, and I even doubt she spoke with me while we worked together.
D. - Figure out what my E-mail address was after 6 years of not knowing me and me probably never giving it to her 6 years ago in the first place.
E. - E-mailing me as soon as she got home because I received this e-mail at 11:11 PM and I left the bowling alley at 10:30.
F. - Drive home, figure out my E-mail address, working up the courage, and writing a letter to me in less than 41 minutes, of me leaving the bowling alley.
This impressed me some so I figured I would give her the benefit of the doubt and send her back an e-mail just to see how things are going. I remember I did notice her at the bowling alley and I knew I had seen her from somewhere before. While she was not a supermodel by any means she was all right for the average chick.
This is the e-mail I returned to her:
Hey *****,
You know I was thinking "I know who that girl is" I even told my buddy that I knew you from somewhere but I couldn't figure out where. I was gonna say "hey I know you from somewhere but I can't remember where" but I was already embarrassed by my Shitty bowling. Anyway, I remembered the face and I sneaked and saw your name on the screen and was like "oh yea that's right". I forget what department you worked in, but now that you mention it I do remember the whole Sears thing. I was thinking that if you guys want to hang out maybe we could go bowling or what not and you guys can teach Brian and me how to roll a ball down a greasy little lane and knock a bunch of little white sticks over. Actually to get right to the point how about Thursday or Friday, I think it would be a lot of fun... I mean when is hanging out with chicks not fun right?
Lee
Literally it was not more that two minutes after me sending this that she signed on and sent me an e-mail back. She must have had put me on AOL Alerts (it text messages your phone when people you enter e-mail you) because nobody has that kind of timing. I don't know if she had put me on her buddy list yet because I was clearly logged on yet she chose not to IM me. It did make me wonder however just how deep I had gotten myself when I saw the speediness of her reply:
Lee,
You know something... to be honest I didn't think you were gonna email me back... I thought I had made a complete fool of myself(as usual).... But as long as you don't mind me having my daughter there bowling on Friday would be great..... So do you really remember me??? Well let me know what you wanna do.. my sister, *** and I are up for the bowling..... Here's my cell number if you want... ###-####.... Well I hope to maybe hear from you soon....
*****
So many things wrong with her e-mails, first of all who misspells "probably" and how does it become contorted into "prolly" when written? The "LOL's" as we all know are just plain wrong. The only place I can somewhat put up with that is in the IMs and even then it annoys me. Then what's with all the dramatic pauses... "I... feel silly.... and prolly look like a 16 year old..." Then comes the icing on the cake. The most horrific of statements that can be made to a 24 year old male "as long as you don't mind me having my daughter there" don't get me wrong I don't mind your daughter but can't you get a baby-sitter for at least one day? I'm beginning to doubt my decision more and more, did I call her? no. Did I e-mail her back? no. but apparently a 24-hour period was too long to wait for a guy that you haven't spoke to in the LAST 6 YEARS. I received another e-mail today, which prompted me to share all this:
Hey,
I was just wondering what was going on for Friday night?? Let me know when u think of something to do or whatever... Other than that, how has life been treating u? Since I havent' talked to you in like 6 years.... My life has been it's own damn soap opera.... But I'm sure you don't wanna hear bout what's been going on with me. So just let me know what you wanna do, if you really do wanna hang out or whatever...
*****
Calm down tiger it's only been 24 hours, geez, what do you think I can just up and pencil you in right away? I got to schedule things! schedule! Give a guy some time. I mean damn I'm beginning to have thoughts of whether I've made a mistake. My friend Brian who will be coming with me on Friday states "You should change it to Thursday so we can go out Friday. That's a perfectly good Friday night ruined." Brian always has a way of making a clear point.
I'm gonna do it. Friday night I will go bowling with a girl who was somehow able to track me down. While scary I need to give her credit where it is due, she went to a lot of hard work to find me and she deserves at least a one-night chance.
I will keep you all updated.
User Reviews
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-05-27 12:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
She sounds stunningly normal, you sound like a tool.
You sound like an utter and complete idiot.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-05-27 08:56:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I find it funny that many guys don't understand why they "always have to make the first move", but then something like this happens and they freak out. Ohh she's a stalker. Please! As far as her kid goes, she is likely making the statement right up front that her child is a major part of her life, not just someone she trundles off to a sitter constantly. The girl is interested in you, though from this post I am not seeing the potential, but anyhoo she is "prolly" just being herself. If you are this put off by her actions/afraid of your new stalker, my suggestion would be to not go out with her. This seems pretty obvious to me. As to your level of desperation, I would say that going out with someone you are writing a stalker post about, pretty much sums it up.
Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2004-05-27 07:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AOL has a buddy search feature.
She probably put your name and city in and wham, there you were so she dipped her finger into the vasiline and started flicking the bean and typing away, hence the pauses and dramatic writing. The kid reference is down to the telling you before anything happens that she has a kid, Again not exactly unusual by any standards.
-2 however for being a dick about some chick who shows an interest in you.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-05-27 06:31:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-05-27 05:27:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
Hooray, I've still got my own teeth!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaahahhahahahaaa...
*ahem*
Submitted by SammySam (user info) at 2004-05-27 05:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually, no I did not immediately e-mail her back and ask her out. I pondered the idea for several hours prior to e-mailing her back.
As a matter of fact I am a laid back guy, and no I do not attempt to be cool or pretend to be.
Anyone who knows me knows what a turd I am and I don't fake the funk as if I'm not a dweebish loser.
I'll be the first to admit that I will go out with and ask out any girl, I mean for cryin out loud every chick deserves a chance to be seen with me in public if they are willing to.
I don't understand some of your other responses, my step-daughter? huh?
You got all your teeth? Good for you! I'm not exactly sure where your from but apparently that's quite an accomplishment for you. Good job!
Oh and the Jdate thing. I was pretty sure somebody would try to compare it to that however I see little resemblance, except for the girls and the computer thats about it.
Anyway, you guys have a nice day. I look forward to anymore comments, oh and if anyone knows how crazy girls get e-mail addresses tell me. I just curious, I don't know a lot about computers.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-05-27 05:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Correct me if I am wrong but did you not reply immediately and ask her out?
If I am not wrong (and I rarely am) then that would make you a desperate loser no?
Not the cool laid back guy your are so desperately trying to be.
Hint : The hard one tries to be cool, the less one actually is.
Trust me, I know. I am the least cool person ever.
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-05-27 05:30:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
congrats on your step daughter, dicknuts
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-05-27 05:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hooray, I've still got my own teeth!
Submitted by At_My_Expense... (user info) at 2004-05-27 04:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
...yawn...
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-05-27 04:42:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you should write your own jdate series! You just need to become funnier, more interesting, and jewish. Go do it now.
Submitted by SammySam (user info) at 2004-05-27 04:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yea, in case you haven't noticed its not friday yet. You seem to be confused, I have every intention of going out with her. I just hope she doesn't turn into a total psychopath like so many girls have in the past.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-05-27 04:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
As far as I see it you asked her out and then did not follow through and 24 hours IS a long time for that.
I hope she kicks your arse because you sound like a positive dipshit.
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-05-27 04:01:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You suck.