"I Guess It Kinda Felt Good" (1228 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.55 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Darth <Smeagol.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-05-29 13:54:37 EDT
I'm a pretty forgiving person. I can get upset with people, but when it comes to holding a long lasting grudge, I fail miserably. Life is too short to get worked up over the little things.
So when my girlfriend dumped me, I tried my best to salvage things. She was over me, in a romantic sense, so I settled on becoming "just friends" again. The whole event came as a shock to me, just a few days before we had been out on a boat for 12 hours and had a great time. I was looking forward to spending my summer with her.
Soon after the breakup I was invited over to her house. Parents were out at some party all night, her little sister was sleeping over at a friends house. Not only was I invited, but another ex couple showed up too. No problem, I don't really care for group gatherings of this type but I didn't say anything. Perhaps this was some sort of synchronized get-back-together the two girls thought up.
It became obvious it wasn't rather quickly. At first, it appeared to be an Innocent get together, just passing some time on a long summer night. But, as soon as I turn my back the other guy is all over my ex. Damn Cuban, I thought. After a few bad moves on my part, and one fatal mistake of accidental wingman-ism, I left my former girlfriend alone in her room with a horny Cuban. What a nice way of saying "Lets get back together, honey."
Seeing that I completely blew the night, I went back home. To my relief, nothing really happened after I left. Not too long after that incident, after a party, I receive a phone call from her. The conversation:
x: I lost it.
D: -----, what did you loose?
x: You know what. (Sounding slightly drunk)
D: Christ, with who?
x: Like it really matters? (slightly aggressive)
D: Yeah, actually it does
x: I was (am) drunk
x: I cried the whole time
D: ----- stop lying, no you didn't.
x: Well, I guess it kinda felt good.
-click-
Jesus tap dancing Christ. I guess it kinda felt good? I lost it folks, that was it. I *think* she was calling for support, or more likely to rub it in my face. It wasn't funny at the time, but after talking with Tom, who pointed out the obvious humor in it, I realized I had to share it with you.
He now starts our conversations with a hardy, "I cried the whole time."
User Reviews
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-06-06 23:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
uhhhhh. ok.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-05-31 23:25:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Condolences. It only becomes worse from there.
Submitted by Fixer (user info) at 2004-05-30 17:49:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"...so I settled on becoming "just friends" again."
That is the funniest part.
Submitted by moneyshot (user info) at 2004-05-30 02:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
get in there and get yerself some sloppy seconds man! no shame! hell give me her number and i'll give her my cuban missile. then she can really cry. seriously though i've been through this shit before and it sucks but they'll be other crazy bitches to fuck with your mind shortly.
Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2004-05-29 21:59:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-05-29 21:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's true. I couldn't help but harshly laugh at him. It was even worse because I harshly laughed at him over the phone, so he knew about it.
"She...ok ok. So let me get this straight. She calls you and says 'I lost it. It doesn't matter who. I was drunk. I cried the whole time...but it kind of felt good?' Oh man that is the greatest thing I've ever heard."
Submitted by jim at 2004-05-29 19:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As I sit here bobbing my head to the theme from Beverly Hills copy, you happened to have provided me with just one more peice evidence that women are all insane. Thank you. Plus two.
Submitted by Dufflady (user info) at 2004-05-29 18:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe she was trying to say she lost it so now if you wanna be next, no biggie.
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-05-29 16:01:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-29 15:32:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1.8? For this? Posh.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-05-29 15:04:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
JewToast and i abhor Cubans.
Submitted by lush (user info) at 2004-05-29 15:02:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahhaha, I don't think she was looking for support...
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-05-29 14:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what a bitch
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-29 14:37:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A winnar is YOU!
+2
Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2004-05-29 14:21:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
At least you didn't find out AFTER you broke up that she was a whore before you met and that you might have two-dozen STDs.
Not that it happened to me.
Submitted by One (user info) at 2004-05-29 14:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yo where's this bitch at so I can hit her up.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-05-29 14:19:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ouch.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-05-29 14:14:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Those damn Cubans!
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-05-29 14:13:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry I did it. She cried the whole time because I stuck it in the wrong hole. Don't worry her vagina is still intact I think. Get her before One does, he loves white chicks.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-05-29 14:07:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry dude.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-29 14:04:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment