A Day in the Mind of CATAL (734 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.72 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CATAL (View user info) at 2004-05-30 12:57:00 EDT
So I was watching TV the other day when:
Self: Wait a minute, wasn't "The Stepford Wives" Not Yet Rated like 10 minutes ago when I last saw a preview. Man those guys are really on the ball!
Sensibility: Or maybe you're just an idiot. That was a preview for something else.
Self: Oh...Well then what was it a preview for then?
Sensibility: I don't know. Do I look like Memory to you?
Self: Sorry. Hey Memory! What preview did I see like 10 minutes ago?
Memory: Uh, um... Can I get back to you on that?
Self: You don't know, do you?
Memory: Just give me some time, I'll get it eventually. I just filed the paperwork not too long ago, I just can't remember where. My filing system never was the most organized, I'll get to it eventually.
Self: Well, don't bother then, but thanks anyway. Oh wait!
Memory: Yeah, you remember what it was?
Self: No, I was just wondering, what am I watching again?
Memory: Seinfeld!
Self: Oh, right. Thanks!
Memory: No problem!
Sensibility: So, what was the preview for?
Self: Memory doesn't remember.
Sensibility: Figures... What good is a memory who can't remember anything!?!
Self: Hey, don't be like that. He's a good guy.
Sensibility: Who cares if he's a good guy? You need someone who is good at there job, not at being a nice person.
Self: Well, I care that he's a good guy. I like him.
Sensibility: So what? Hitler wasn't a good guy, but at least he got the job done.
Self: WHAT!?! What job? I mean, wha- Uh- ...Gee, I'm glad you aren't my conscience...
Conscience: Somebody call me?
Sensibility: NO. Now go away.
Conscience: Okaly-dokaly.
Sensibility: Loser...
Self: You know what? Why don't you just shut up?
Sensibility: Whatever...
Libido: Hey Patrick! When are you gonna get off your ass and go find some chicks! I wanna fuck!
Self: Calm down.
Libido: Shut up you faggot! I wanna fuck! Fuck!
Self: Go screw yourself!
Libido: ...............Okay.
Self: For Christ's sake! Take care of that in private.
Religiousness: Thou shall not take the Lord's name in vain Patrick.
Self: Holy shit! I thought you died off years ago.
Religiousness: ...Patrick, would you please not refer to excrement as sacred.
Self: Oh yeah, sorry. Sure thing Religiousness, but what happened? I could have sworn you were dead.
Religiousness: My thanks, and to answer your question, I was indeed ill for many a year. I am in fact quite weak now. While I almost died not long ago, your viewings of "The Boondock Saints" kept me alive. They renewed your interests in religion ever so slightly. I have been teaching Spirituality to succeed me.
Self: Oh yeah, I've been seeing more of him lately. Where is he right now?
Religiousness: He is reflecting over some very interesting matters, in fact-
Self: Oh yeah, okay I guess I'll see you later bye!
Religiousness: Farewell.
Sensibility: What a moron.
Self: Shut up. Go read about evolution or something.
Libido: Whew! Am I refreshed or what? Ahh... So, what are we watching?
Self: That was fast.
Libido: Fuck you. What are we watching?
Self: Seinfeld.
Libido: Oh yeah? Which one?
Self: Just watch...
Libido: Shit. Look who it is.
Self: Hello Paranoia...
Paranoia: Ah! What? Oh, you startled me. Did you see anyone following me? Anyone at all?
Self: Uh, no.
Paranoia: Are you sure?
Self: Yeah.
Paranoia: Um, well okay. May I join you, safety in numbers after all?
Self: Yeah sure, whatever.
Paranoia: Thank you. Oh hello Libido.
Libido: Yeah hi.
Paranoia: You know Libido, I was thinking...
Libido: I don't want to hear it. I don't care what it is, I just don't want to hear it.
Paranoia: Are you sure, I just thought of something that might interest you is all. But oh well, I suppose you don't care. I just thought it would help your love life.
Libido: Really?
Paranoia: Hmm, yes. But you're not interested.
Libido: Well, I guess you can tell me.
Paranoia: Well, I was just thinking, many people say that they knew deep down for a long time without being aware of it. Then one day, they just realize it and it explains a lot. So I thought maybe we're gay.
Libido: I hate you...
Paranoia: Just think about it. It makes perfect sense.
Libido: No it doesn't! It makes no sense! I LOVE WOMEN!
Paranoia: Haven't you ever th-
Libido: NO! That's fucking it! I'm leaving. Bye Patrick.
Self: Huh? What?
Libido: How can you stand to listen to this?!?
Self: I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention. Listen to what?
Paranoia: Well, I was just telling Libido-
Libido: NO! He doesn't want to hear it! You don't want wanna here it. Trust me, you really don't want to hear it.
Self: ............Okay.
Paranoia: Are you sure?
Libido: He's sure! BYE.
Self: See ya.
Paranoia: You know, you don't know that you don't want to hear what I have to say. Maybe he is trying to trick you.
Self: I'm quite all right Paranoia, I am quite confident I don't want to here what you have to say. Hey, speak of the devil.
Confidence: Hey! Patty boy! How ya doing? Man, take a look at this guy! Have you ever seen such a handsome face?
Paranoia: How can you listen to a word he says? He's you for Christ's sake!
Religiousness: The Lord's name!
Paranoia: Sorry, but my point stands.
Self: Shut up. How ya doin' Confidence?
Confidence: Not bad, not bad. Better with seeing you buddy boy. I mean, c'mon. Who wouldn't be pleased to see you!?! Not me, or anyone else, that's for sure!
Self: Ah, I love this guy.
Confidence: Hey, gimme a hug there big guy.
Paranoia: Look at you two! You're a bunch of flaming queens!
Confidence: Hey, hey, hey. You can say anything about me, but I will here no slandering of the "Duke of Deliciousness." Besides, we're just comfortable with our sexuality.
Paranoia: Well that WOULD explain your hugging.
Confidence: Well I think you should leave, you don't deserve to be in Prince Patrick's presence. Wow, try and say that three times fast.
Self: PrincePatrick'spresence. PrintsPatrixpresents. Princessespiss.
Confidence: Whoa! Patty boy, master of linguistics!
Paranoia: Are you insane? That was pathetic. You can't even speak correctly.
Confidence: Didn't I tell you to get out of here? Scram!
Paranoia: Well,...indeed.
Confidence: Can you believe that guy? Trying to invent flaws in your perfect visage and personality. Sadly some people are just delusional.
Self: Yeah, it really is a shame.
Curiosity: I wonder what's going on over here. Hi guys, what are you doing? Watching TV? What are you watching? How long have you been here? What's up? How are you guys doing? What's everyone else up to?
Self: Hey, Curiosity. We're just watching Seinfeld. I've been here maybe a half hour. Libido and Paranoia are somewhere around here. Oh, and Spirituality is "reflecting" or something.
Curiosity: I think I'll go check that out. I wonder what he's reflecting on.
Religiousness: Interesting you should ask that...
Sensibility: Hey, uh Patrick. This post is getting kinda old. Maybe you should think about summing it up.
Confidence: Are you crazy!?! This man can do no wrong! He could make a post absolute gibberish scrolling down for eternity topped off a picture of a shit he took and it would still get all +2's and get on Bored at Work! I mean, this post will skyrocket him to Most Viewed Author alone!
Self: ............Yeah, I think we're done.
User Reviews
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-07-18 18:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha, smart.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2005-01-12 22:57:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds fruity
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-27 01:17:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love these...
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2004-12-27 01:01:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was pretty clever. Some good lines in there.
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2004-08-12 14:24:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-06-01 15:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad to hear that. What you went through is tough enough at any age, but it's particularly unfair when it hits at such a young age.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-06-01 14:54:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Doing great, my health is pretty much top notch now. Still on a few medications, mostly just precautionary. I'm feeling well, thanks for your concern loki.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-05-31 16:02:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm almost sure they make medication for this sort of thing.
speaking of medication....
how are things with you know, your health and all?
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2004-05-31 07:41:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-05-30 22:54:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-05-30 21:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by RateMachine3000 (user info) at 2004-05-30 21:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
alright.
Submitted by Pacifist248 (user info) at 2004-05-30 21:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-05-30 19:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-05-30 17:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-05-30 17:04:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good god did I laugh.
Inner Priest: Thalt shalt not use the Lord's name in vain
Shit, I just did.
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-05-30 16:14:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadowdragon (user info) at 2004-05-30 16:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmmmmmmmmmmm. pseudoismic. yummy!
Submitted by moebius (user info) at 2004-05-30 15:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Check plus!
Submitted by miss_behvn (user info) at 2004-05-30 14:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so...your gay?
Submitted by FearBenzene (user info) at 2004-05-30 13:41:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by whataefag (user info) at 2004-05-30 13:32:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed out loud.
No offense, but maybe it's time to see a psychiatrist!
Submitted by Dufflady (user info) at 2004-05-30 13:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There were some hilarious parts in here.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-05-30 13:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fucking awesome.
Self: For Christ's sake! Take care of that in private.
Religiousness: Thou shall not take the Lord's name in vain Patrick.
Self: Holy shit! I thought you died off years ago.
Religiousness: ...Patrick, would you please not refer to excrement as sacred.
****
That cracked me up
****
Religiousness: My thanks, and to answer your question, I was indeed ill for many a year. I am in fact quite weak now. While I almost died not long ago, your viewings of "The Boondock Saints" kept me alive. They renewed your interests in religion ever so slightly. I have been teaching Spirituality to succeed me.
****
+2 for the Boondock Saints reference! My favorite movie EVAR!
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-30 13:10:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2004-05-30 13:09:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad. Not bad at all.
Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2004-05-30 13:06:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Jocko_Johnson (user info) at 2004-05-30 13:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You shoulda just shot yourself. Would have made for less arguing.