If I work in hell... (785 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: 0.29 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by the youngest user (View user info) at 2004-05-30 15:05:58 EDT
Then I must be the Devil. Recently, I've been working in a local video store. It's pretty sweet, getting free rentals, flexible hours, and nice pay. But the real highlight? The customers. Those of you who have worked in retail will identify with me, that customers are, on the whole, fucking idiots. So, it's fun to jerk them around a bit. This was my favorite conversation to date.
Me: Hi, can I help you?
Customer: Uh, ya, I'm renting this video.
Me: Girls gone wild, huh? You're aware that this is an 18 plus movie, right?
Customer: Ya, I'm aware. I'm 18.
Interjection: Sure, and I'm the Pope. Still, I devise a devious plan.
Me: Sorry about that. It's just that you don't look...
Customer: Huh? Just cuz I'm short, right? I otta sue yo ass!
Interjection: I wonder if there's room for bodies in the back.
Me: O.K, I'll just need your phone number and name.
Customer: 905-123-4567, and the names Jeremy Owens.
Interjection: Jeremy Owens? The son of my old English teacher? As I remember, Mr. Owens was somewhat... puritanical.
Me: Thank you. (picks up phone). Hello? Mr. Owens? It's the video store calling. I have your son here, who seems to be 18. (pause) What? You only have one? And he's fourteen? Anyways, he wants to rent Girls Gone Wild, and since he's eighteen, I can't stop him, but since I smell cannabis on him
Interjection: I don't, but I'm having fun
Me: I just thought that I would ask you, since you are probably in a better state of mind. Uh-huh. O.K. (hangs up phone)
Me: Apparently, Mr. Owens has just cancelled your membership here. He wants you home right away. I hope you two can settle this like adults.
Customer: SHIT!
Conclusion: It was mean and un-called for, I know, but still...
User Reviews
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2004-10-11 19:24:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hehe you are a shitbag
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-05-31 12:48:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I usually don't like conversations...but this one had a happy ending.
Submitted by tsu (user info) at 2004-05-31 12:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahaha hilarious
Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2004-05-31 07:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by gain (user info) at 2004-05-30 21:34:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ratemachine, what gives you the slightest right to say that this isn't true? hypothetically, let's say it isn't. You know what changes? nothing. including your being a dumbass.
a non-counting +2 for me.
Submitted by RateMachine3000 (user info) at 2004-05-30 21:26:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bullshit. I was there, it didn't happen.
God kills kittens when you lie.
Submitted by Dufflady (user info) at 2004-05-30 17:06:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Does anyone else remember someone's post with a link to a site where some lady rants about her experiences working at Blockbuster?
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-05-30 16:49:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hell yeah, bash those customers because Joe Public really is as dumb as he appears to be! Says one who has worked with them for far, far too long...!
Submitted by DenDen (user info) at 2004-05-30 16:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh!
Submitted by gain (user info) at 2004-05-30 16:19:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
reviews, i mean.
Submitted by gain (user info) at 2004-05-30 16:11:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shitfuck: i know. I've been around for sometime now. I know how it goes, and i was expecting some of this. I just pay attention to the revies on the post itself.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-30 16:03:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I admit, this was a strong first post, but it's more fun to bash noobs than it is to suck noob cock.
Stick around kid.
Submitted by KoolWang (user info) at 2004-05-30 15:52:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-05-30 15:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like this gain fella already.
Submitted by gain (user info) at 2004-05-30 15:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
as a note, the reason i did that was because i used to be like that kid. With things like that came lying, drinking, drugs, and alot of other things. By doing that, not only did i have fun, but i hope i scared him away from things like fake i.d's. That shit messes up your life.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-05-30 15:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hah. You must not work at Blockbuster - I never met a BB clerk that would think more than once about checking out a bazooka to a seven year old.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-05-30 15:36:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 if you actually did that.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-05-30 15:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I thought this was funny.
Excellent first post.
+1
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-30 15:18:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's eqasy to confuse this post with a bucket full of cow semen because that's what the writer drinks.
Take this -2 and fucking choke on it noob!
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-05-30 15:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
don't know why you did the double post, but it was good