Celebrities I've Pissed Off (1092 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.49 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Malone (View user info) at 2004-05-31 01:21:41 EDT
Tis not often in this lifetime that a person gets to meet a celebrity. I have been able to meet a few and be around a few more without introduction. The ones I have actually met were the man who played Boss Hog from the Dukes of Hazzard and Mohammed Ali. These encounters went fine and are each memorable.
Perhaps what is more memorable however are the ones whom I managed to spark off a tip of anger.
In the early 1990's I was at a concert down at St. Andrews Hall in Detroit. A friend and I were standing at the back of the venue where there was cooler air. A short neat looking black man in a white polo approaches us with some tapes and CD's. They are by the rapper Esham who is also part of the group Natas. After a "hey how are you guys doing, enjoying the show? etc." he begins to try and peddle his shit on us.
"No man it's cool. I'm broke." I said.
"Ok, I'll sell them to you for $5 then on CD" short black man says.
"No man Esham sucks." I reply.
"What? Esham sucks? Shit Bro, you had better get some taste in music or some shit! Fine then y'all." He walks away in a huff and I'm glad he finally left us alone. He doesn't get 4 feet away from us before some other guys with the same white polo's on comes up to him and we here one of them say, "Yo Esham."
We couldn't believe it, we just dissed Esham trying to sell us his own shit. Fuck 'em.
A few years later now I was back at the same place but downstairs in a smaller venue called The Shelter. If The Shelter holds 250 people, I'd be surprised; I mean this place is like a closet with a bar. This time I was there to see the ska band 'Let's Go Bowling.' These guys are awesome. For those who don't know, ska is what reggae was born out of. It's like reggae, but a bit faster and more danceable. Anyway, traveling with them out of California is another ska band, 'No Doubt' that was opening up for them. This was before anybody knew who No Doubt was.
The lead singer is this kind of cute, but really annoying blonde. She had sparkle shit all over her and was flat chested. This added to her "annoyingness." The group pissed me off because they sucked and didn't really play ska. I don't know what I'd label No Doubt. After their set is done, the woman I would learn to know as Gwen Stefani starts throwing water from her water bottle around and gets a good sling of it on my face. I had a plastic cup of water (under 21 then) and in retaliation I chucked the fucker back up at her. I hit her right in the chest and water went everywhere, didn't get her very wet though, not that that would have done much for me.
I was close enough to hit her good and so she saw me do it. I'll never forget making eye contact with Gwen as she mouthed these words I could not hear, but read. "What the fuck?!" She's the only person I've ever seen at the Shelter who had security escort her skinny ass off stage. This shining moment didn't really mean much until about 3 months later when driving in my car, on the radio was announced a song by this new hit band, No Doubt.
Moving along another year or so, Goldfinger was in town. Do you all remember GOLDFINGER? They were another one hit wonder shit band from California. I guess they played ska. I was at this show on the guest list, but not to see them but the opening band Dropkick Murphy's I think. Me and my friends are bullshitting and making fun of the lead singer of Goldfinger (photo below) and his stupid bleach blond hair. How many people back then had that stupid bleach blond hair? Eminem still does. No sooner while we're ripping this band to shreds we see none other than John Feldmann, the lead singer walking through the crowd just outside of arms reach. Nobody really notices him.
I say over to him, "Hey Goldfinger! Nice hair!"
Everyting about this guy cries out dipshit. He turns to us and smiles assuming we just complimented him. But his smile soon turned to a frown as he watched us all falling over ourselves with laughter. I don't remember which was more hysterical, that or when he turned and walked away. I can still almost taste his shame.
Now more recently, this past year I was once again at my old haunt The Shelter. First time I'd been there in years. I was there to see the Toasters. Upstairs Macy Gray was playing. This pretentious bitch was fucking with my good time and the band I wanted to see. She had told management that the Toasters could not play when she goes on because we would apparently interfere with her show. Naturally, management sided with the cunting afro puff.
For an unknown reason this wounded vagina decides to actually COME DOWNSTAIRS into our crowd and make her way across the place. Remember how small I said the Shelter was? It's intimate in there. Lucky for me and my Rolling Rock fueled anger (now over 21!), she will make my night by walking right by me. Across the room I see her afro sticking up like Jaws' fin out of the water, zig zagging it's way closer and closer.
Then, there she is! I could have touched her tit, but instead eye contact is made. Macy Gray has brown eyes.
I can't think of anything to say except, "FUCK YOU MACY GRAY!" Fuck you Macy Gray, that's what came out. A single middle finger from the hand holding my 22oz of brewed goodness also came out.
Man, that one felt good.
Oh yeah, and before I end this, Macy Gray spoke to me. Macy Gray touched my life with words of wisdom that I reflect upon each morning. Macy Gray spoke unto me, "Fuck you motherfucker."
User Reviews
Submitted by Eric_Rice (user info) at 2004-10-17 14:53:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CleverName (user info) at 2004-06-19 18:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You posted this under quotes & stories.
This post has both- nice work.
What the hell is that when someone in a band douses the crowd with water?
I went to a new band nite show at First Avenue this past February, and after their set, the lead singer for these nobodys throws a shitload of water on everyone, including people at the bar near the stage. Thanks, you fucking dickhead. The bar's closing, it's winter in Minneapolis, it's one fucking degree outside, and now a dozen people get to walk to their cars soaking wet. I think my left nipple suffered frostbite. Obviously I'm still a little angry about that.
That freaky bitch Stefani had it coming.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-06-01 01:08:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You get +2 just for having the good taste to like the Dropkick Murphys. I've always thought Gewn Stefani was hot, personally.
As for meeting famous people, I've met Larry Flynt, and Sam Donaldson.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-05-31 19:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gwen Stefani is one of those people who are only sexy because they are famous.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-05-31 12:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I still think about the time we pissed off a local band that sort of went big. If you're familiar at all with alternative/pop shit, you've probably heard of "Social Burn". They had like, one or two songs that went on the radio. Anyhow, they suck ass. I hate every single one of those fuckers, but mostly I hate the lead singer, Neil. He's this sort of chunky kid who wants to be like Kurt Cobain. His fat girlfriend was all over my friend's cock this one time we played, and kicked their ass, in pool. This was before they got big. This guy comes into the Irish Pub where we hang out, and purposefully plays his own god damn shitty song on the jukebox, and then tries to act cool, like he didn't put a dollar in just so he could brag about his own song. Everytime I see them, we break into a coughing fit of "AAUGGH HACK HACK SOCIAL BURN SUCKS COUGH COUGH". One time I got a bunch of free drinks out of them, though, by saying I thought they had a lot of potential. Man, I hate those guys.
Submitted by Jordana (user info) at 2004-05-31 11:59:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
goldfinger is awesome. but i'll give you a 1 anyway cause i hate macy gray
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-05-31 09:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn funny.
Submitted by geofroley (user info) at 2004-05-31 09:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Macy Gray sounds like an old man.
Submitted by tsu (user info) at 2004-05-31 09:18:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-05-31 09:12:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-05-31 08:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by RateMachine3000 (user info) at 2004-05-31 08:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty funny.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-05-31 06:52:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Doubt sucks.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-05-31 04:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahahaha. "Fuck you Macy Gray!"
Quality.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-05-31 03:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just reread this and I wished i was there at the Macie Grey thing.
You do know why here voice is so gravelly don't you.
From sucking all those cocks to get her stupid records made.
Ok I ain't feeling too charitable today.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-05-31 02:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-31 02:09:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok , I though you were being a big meanyhead again.
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-05-31 02:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LOL. It was a joke on what you said about your info being posted yet AGAIN. So I posted it, yet again.
Like I said, free publicity!
Malone
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-05-31 02:02:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-31 01:57:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Malone, why the fuck are you posting my user info on threads yet again?
I've played nice in your sandbox lately.
Can't you be nice?
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-05-31 01:53:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah but you never met any Bears players so +1 for you
go sox woo!!!
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-31 01:51:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My keyboard should be seized.
I am the typo Queen of Uber I swear!
:-(
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-31 01:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have also met alot of famous people. Mostly athletesI worked in the sports bar that Mitch Album used to do hids radio show live from on Sunday nights.
It was a long time ago .
Some of them are fabulous and very nice.
Others are pompous assholes.
Barry Sanders was very nice and a regular in that establishment.
He always left a hundred dollar tip and was amazingly polite.
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-05-31 01:47:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I was going to lie about pissing off famous people, I would write about really famous people, not has beens and unimportant singers.
Malone
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-05-31 01:32:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*cough lies cough*
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-05-31 01:31:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bugger
I meant Plus 2 gold
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-05-31 01:30:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck you Motherfucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gold
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-31 01:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Solid!