Ubersite RPG 3: The Battle Continues (1188 hits)
Category: HumorLabels: RPG
Rating: 1.68 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Matt Maiorano (View user info) at 2004-05-31 13:38:52 EDT
BART: So JMG, where'd you learn how to fight like that? Jewtoast never stood a chance against you!
WILLZONE: Who're you talking to?
BART: GAAAH!! Where the hell'd you come from?
WILL: Huh? You mean you never noticed that the author is always changing up your party?
BART: But.... Jared was one of the best party members I've ever had! What in the hell do YOU have to offer?
WILL: I dunno. I just kinda appeared here, so I'm just going with it.
BART: Well shit. Who else is in this party?
Jonukah has joined the party
BART: Well, we're fucked. Jesus Jon, put some fucking clothes on.
JONUKAH: What? Where in the hell-
ZONE: Where'd the yetti come from!?
JONUKAH: Hey, don't ask me. I was busy fucking my girlfriend, and I was sure I wouldn't cum too soon. But noooo, I had to be whisked away to this magical disaster of a post.
BART: I don't care what your excuse is. Just put on some armor, will you? I don't want to look at your asshairs anymore.
ZONE: Look, a nearby treasure box! Maybe something is in it!
*Jonukah opens treasure box*
Jonukah receives Cloak Of The Elite (1)
Jonukah equips Cloak Of The Elite
Jonukah's Defense +35!
Kristen and Phoenix appear
KRISTEN: Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing with OUR treasure!?
ZONE: Oh come on, the guy was naked. Cut him a little slack.
JONUKAH: Actually, it's a little tight around the-
PHOENIX: No! We found it fair and square! We're going to get it back, by any means necessary.
JONUKAH: Look, it's all right, I'll just-
Bart, WillZone, and Jonukah have entered battle
KRISTEN: Prepare to meet your doom, boys! For we-
PHOENIX: Are the legendary-
KRISTEN: Twins Of Terror!
BART: Well ladies, I've fought all kinds of beasts in my adventures, so I'm sure you two won't be too much of a problem.
JONUKAH: Uhm..... this cloak isn't really my color. I don't think-
WILL: I'll get em first, guys!
Kristen uses puppy-eyes
WillZone is unable to attack!
Kristen and Phoenix: Dual Attack!
Phoenix Flame!
Bart, WillZone, and Jonukah are hit!
Bart takes 500 damage
WillZone takes 632 damage
Jonukah takes 247 damage
BART: What happened?
WILL: She's so adorable.... I couldn't hit her!
BART: Ahhhhh, Christ. Step aside, pussy.
Bart casts Flame 3
Kristen and Phoenix are hit!
Kristen takes 46 damage
Phoenix takes 3 damage
Kristen and Phoenix are bundling up something....
WILL: Oh my God, what do we do!? This next attack is going to finish us!
BART: We can only pray, gentleman. Let's just hope this is quick and painless....
JONUKAH: Here's your cloak back.
Jonukah is naked!
Kristen and Phoenix are hypnotized
BART: Holy shit! That's it, Jonukah! Keep them hypnotized with your body hair! Now, Will!
Bart, WillZone, and Jonukah: Tri-Attack!
MVA-Strike!
Kristen and Phoenix are hit!
Kristen takes 5492 damage
Kristen has died
Phoenix takes 7833 damage
Phoenix has died
*Battle has ended*
45000 exp.
10 gold
WillZone learns spell: Death-Zone
Jonukah has gained a level!
Bart learns tech skill: N00b-Away
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-11-23 16:55:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-20 15:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-06-01 14:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's ok, Erika. We share a grave, if you know what I mean...*wink*
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-06-01 14:24:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This would be much cooler if Kristen and I didn't die.
:-)
Phoenix
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-01 10:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-31 23:49:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2004-05-31 21:30:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
plans eh... oh... I might have some huge idea.....
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-05-31 21:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you are giving electro ideas.
Submitted by gain (user info) at 2004-05-31 17:35:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i would have liked to see Kristen or Phoenix use 'kick in nuts'
Submitted by UlfGabe (user info) at 2004-05-31 17:29:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1 for the pic.
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2004-05-31 17:24:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That's it, I'm going to play Baldur's Gate again.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-05-31 17:23:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good shit.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-05-31 17:19:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know what's more pathetic: You making this post, or me being amused by it.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-05-31 16:19:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about RateMachine3000
User id: 9047
Registered on or around: 2004-05-30 21:15:51
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 61
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0.00
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Nothing like NoobAttack2 to give you -1 damage.
Oh yeah.. and C, crazy frenchman.
Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-05-31 15:52:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep them hypnotized with your body hair!
No one should ever have to see that.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-05-31 14:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I hate RPG's and if I was a new guy I wouldn't know any of the charcters. Hence the -1.
Submitted by RateMachine3000 (user info) at 2004-05-31 14:33:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-05-31 14:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-05-31 14:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As hilarious as i've come to expect.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-05-31 14:01:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm lovin' it.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-05-31 13:51:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-05-31 13:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
These kick all kinds of ass.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-05-31 13:40:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this was great, not as good as the last, but +2 worthy nonetheless