The Sex Life of Ms. Pacman (1639 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 0.71 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by shadowdragon (View user info) at 2004-05-31 17:13:40 EDT
I had a funny dream last night. Strangely, I wasn't in it. It took place in some video arcade that I didn't recognize, and there were two guys in it that I don't know. I'm not sure, but I think someone was trying to tell me something...
*********************************************************
Man, you are way too addicted to this game.
It's fun, man. And the chick's hot. And best of all, she swallows! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh damn I'm good.
You didn't make that up. You got that from a movie.
Oh really? What movie then?
I can't remember. Just give me a minute. It'll come to me.
Oh c'mon. Even if some movie writer thought that up, is it not possible for someone else to think of that separately?
Sure, it's possible, but you didn't.
Of course I did. It's so obvious. I don't see how anyone couldn't.
Couldn't see that Ms. Pacman is a whore?
I never said THAT... but I guess that's what's on YOUR mind.
Alright, what were YOU thinking then?
It's not that she's a whore; just a sex fiend in general.
"Sex fiend"?
Well look: she goes around swallowing all these little white blobs. After she gets all of them from one place, she just moves on to the next without stopping.
What about those ghosty thingies she's running from?
They represent intercourse itself. If she hits one of them, then she's out of service for about 9 milliseconds, as if she was pregnant. But after that she goes back for more.
That would make intercourse a bad thing...
Yes, unless she uses birth control. You know, the big dots. Then she can enjoy them (all of them, if she's lucky) without worry. She just has to do it before the magic pill wears off. Then she's screwed. But then after she has sex with one of them, they can't do it again until they rest up a bit.
And those fruits that keep bouncing around?
Those are orgasms. They're worth more in higher levels, like orgasms get better with more experience.
Hey! You may be on to something here! And a bunch of these fruits are aphrodisiacs: cherry, strawberry, banana, pear, apple, ....wait, pretzel?
I love a good pretzel after sex. ......Oh crap!
What?
She just got gangbanged by Blinky and Clyde in the corner. They're too fast on the sixth level.
Well, as they get older there's a higher level of sexual attraction. Besides, in this little society, there's four guys all after this one girl. Kinda weird how they don't try to kill each other first.
They're ghosts. They're already dead. ...At last. Level seven.
What? They have another baby?
Well there are only three animations, so it just repeats the third after every level above three. And that's another thing; it's a love story that assumes they have sex at one point, but then they use the old "delivery stork" to cover it up.
I guess Midway's got every angle covered. Do you think they meant to?
Of course they did. It's subliminal advertising of the sexual kind (which is really the dominant kind I guess). That's how they got this game to be so popular.
Yeah...hey, what about when you die?
I guess sex can kill you if you're not careful.
That's a little discouraging.
Well as long as you have enough money you can keep getting surgery to make yourself sexy when you get ugly with age...just like you can keep feeding it quarters for another chance.
So the whole thing is one big sex metaphor.
Indeed.
You're still way too addicted to it.
I don't play that often. It's natural talent.
Oh look at that. You died.
Shut up.
Alright, but no more of this 8-bit sex talk. It makes me feel...well, we probably shouldn't be talking about little yellow balls having sex.
Fine. So what else they got in here...hey, Jumpman!
Me first!
Fine. But you better not suck like I rock at Ms. Pacman.
(after about 10 seconds)
Ya know, I always wondered what DK wants the princess for anyway-
That's it. We're gone.
(cut to outside, walking towards car)
Oh yeah, the movie was Van Wilder.
Hmm...you're right. Hehe. That was a funny movie.
Not as good as Animal House though.
Are you kidding? Van Wilder was definitely better.
No way! Animal house is a...... (fade to black, sound fades out...)
*********************************************************
I woke up. It was about 5:30. I suddenly had the urge to turn my computer back on...
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-05-09 13:14:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Since you are no longer active on here, I plan to steal this.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-08-14 01:56:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright, but no more of this 8-bit sex talk.
Submitted by Smithstudd (user info) at 2004-08-14 01:31:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Because I can
Submitted by maggot (user info) at 2004-07-25 12:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by maggot (user info) at 2004-07-25 12:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by denim9 (user info) at 2004-07-18 17:46:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about shadowdragon
User id: 1596
Registered on or around: 2003-07-06 03:59:16
# Messages posted: 16
# Reviews written: 1122
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 213
# Hits: 6425
Average rating of all messages: -0.22
Thanks!
Submitted by shadowdragon (user info) at 2004-06-01 18:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BillsSBChamps- i'm not gonna bother arguing. i don't think there's hope for reasoning with you. but I rarely don't leave a comment. If I did, then I'm sure it's because your posts didn't deserve one.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-06-01 00:56:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You gave me a few -2 no comments stupid so I was returning the favor, I don't think there is another dumbass out there who already wrote something this shitty.
Submitted by GrizzlyHunter62 (user info) at 2004-05-31 23:49:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I can't +2 this. But it made me smile....inside.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2004-05-31 21:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You oughtn't spend so much time on the computer, I think...It pollutes you.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-05-31 21:39:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by shadowdragon (user info) at 2004-05-31 21:23:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BillsSBChamps- um, what?...I just wrote this this morning.
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-05-31 19:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by KoolWang (user info) at 2004-05-31 18:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about RateMachine3000
User id: 9047
Registered on or around: 2004-05-30 21:15:51
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 61
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0.00
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-05-31 18:16:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No comment, look familiar.
Submitted by RateMachine3000 (user info) at 2004-05-31 18:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2004-05-31 17:55:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Van wilder is definatly better..
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2004-05-31 17:52:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty good.
Submitted by Dufflady (user info) at 2004-05-31 17:39:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked it.
Submitted by Rainer (user info) at 2004-05-31 17:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I SEE THE LIGHT!
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-05-31 17:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe its the actifed, but I got a sense of fulfillment from this post.