I'd rather be mauled by angry hippos than go on another date (5607 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.92 on 142 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Method (View user info) at 2004-06-01 01:40:12 EDT
Adventures in dating.
I don't know. Maybe it's me. Dating is a chore. The stress beforehand, the angst during, the drunken attempts at scoring afterwards. It's just a huge hassle. Nothing ever seems to go right, and even when it does, you sit at home afterwards and review every stupid thing you said and did in your head. You convince yourself that this girl will never call you again, get drunk, and call your ex girlfriend out of desperation, only to embarass yourself once again.
I've been on my fair share of dates. Some of them have gone extremely well, and some of them have been disastrous. Actually, most of them have been disastrous. I would like to share with you what may perhaps be the worst date in history.
I met one young lady at a friends wedding. She looked amazing. There was an open bar that I took full advantage of. Somehow, I managed to successfully get her number and get a date with her. All thanks to alcohol.
About a week later, we went to a nice little restaurant and had dinner. The wait for a table was a good hour or so, so we had our fair share of drinks beforehand. When we got to the table, I had a stupid drunk shit-eating grin on my face. This was going to be a bad night.
Me: So, you like this place?
Her: Yeah, its really nice. I hope the food is good.
Me: Oh don't worry, the food is amazing.
I managed not to slur my words. I also managed to shoot a little bit of spit out of my mouth on the last Z. Drunk as I was, this all happened in slow motion. I watched the drool shoot out of my mouth and head directly for her eye.
Now, seeing that I was drunk, I naturally assumed I had the reflexes of a cheetah. Seeing that I was drunk, I forgot to assume that I had the depth perception of a blind monkey. My arm shot out to catch the spittle in mid-air like some fucking action hero.
I slapped her right across the face.
My penis sighed, gave me a dirty look, packed up his things and left, muttering under his breath.
She slapped me back.
She stared at me in horror. People around me turned to find out what had made a clapping sound twice. She held her cheek in shock and dismay, and I did the same. The only difference was, my brain forgot to turn off my drunken shit eating grin, so it looked like I was smiling about the whole thing.
"What the fuck did you hit me for?" She screamed at me.
"I..I...I didn't mean to. You see, I spit on you...."
The last part, "I spit on you", came out louder than the rest of the sentence, and with a slight french accent for some reason. The people around me heard "I SPEET ON YOU!", like I was some evil Frenchman abusing his girlfriend. I heard gasps all around the room. I turned beet red and tried to hide under the table. This also proved disastrous. My foot touched hers, and she assumed I was trying to play footsie with her.
"You are seriously fucked up. Unbelievable." She said as she grabbed her bag and walked out of the restaurant.
The friend who had been gracious enough to host the wedding that I met this young girl at called me the next day.
"Dude, what the fuck happened last night? Jessie called my wife at 12 AM screaming at her."
"I spit on her." Was all I could say in despair. I didn't even want to try and explain myself. There was no point.
"Why the fuck did you do that?"
"I didn't mean to. It was an accident."
"Oook, so then why did you hit her?"
"No, no, I didn't mean to, I was trying to catch the....hey, you know what, it doesn't matter. I give up" I stated resignedly, hanging up the phone.
User Reviews
Submitted by jaker29902 (user info) at 2008-01-21 19:10:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
right before I typed this up, I laughed like this, he he he
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-01-21 18:52:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-09 09:53:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Mike-Mc (user info) at 2007-11-09 09:39:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-20 19:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
b@w
Submitted by sandsoftime (user info) at 2006-09-20 04:23:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My penis sighed, gave me a dirty look, packed up his things and left, muttering under his breath.
------------------------
Priceless!
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-09-20 03:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OMG WOT A CLASSIC I CAN'Y BELIEVE HE SPITS ON HER AN THEN PUMMELLED THE BITCH ONE ONE ONE
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-09-20 03:43:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this one's a classic.
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-09-13 23:09:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i just peed a little.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-09-13 23:09:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck I laughed.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-09-13 22:55:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-07-06 07:59:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehehe
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-06 07:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd forgotten how funny this was.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-07-06 07:41:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
loved it
Submitted by I_love_Kracka (user info) at 2006-06-11 19:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this was great
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-19 20:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
what a loser
Submitted by silverstone148 (user info) at 2005-12-23 20:24:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wow
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-12-14 13:24:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"My penis sighed, gave me a dirty look, packed up his things and left, muttering under his breath."
Awesome.
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2005-12-13 23:22:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I understand that, but you might get laid in the process. After you fuck her, THEN get drunk and stupid.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-13 23:21:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck that, then I'd have nothing to write about!
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2005-12-13 23:17:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You poor dear! Maybe you should try NOT drinking on dates, could help.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-12-13 11:42:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Method... you big dumb fuck!
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-12-13 11:27:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-12-05 01:18:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yet another good excuse to smack a bitch up...
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-12-13 10:51:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had my saliva glands surgicaly removed! Whateva! I'm rich, I can do what I want!
Submitted by sweetkisses (user info) at 2005-12-06 15:39:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
calmate on the booze and maybe you'll score
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-06 15:32:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-06 15:12:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
ell, maybe you should go on some more dates and stifle your masturbationary tactics.
Is that a word?
--------------------------
i think it's masturbatory.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-06 15:29:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+3 for the title. +2 for the shitty date.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-06 15:24:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it coulda been worse. but not much. awesome, just awesome.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-12-06 15:12:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ell, maybe you should go on some more dates and stifle your masturbationary tactics.
Is that a word?
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-12-06 10:10:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA! Holy shit, I've never actually read your writing. Where the fuck have I been?
Oh, yeah. Chronically masturbating, I forgot.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-10-17 10:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why thank you kind sir, I've been on B@W as well, you know!
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-10-17 10:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit this was good,
no one ever told me you could actually write Method!
Submitted by HippoRapist (user info) at 2005-08-09 19:51:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for hippos...i'd rather rape them then fuck another 13 years girl
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-06-17 16:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
buuuuuuuuuuuump
Submitted by urbaneruralite (user info) at 2005-02-20 19:49:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2004-12-23 20:37:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2004-12-05 01:27:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is so awesome
Submitted by cwl989 (user info) at 2004-12-05 01:25:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post gave me an orgasm.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-12-05 01:18:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yet another good excuse to smack a bitch up...
Submitted by funkchomper (user info) at 2004-12-04 16:43:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
short & sweet.
Submitted by houseman (user info) at 2004-12-04 16:23:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking great
Submitted by GlitchCowman (user info) at 2004-12-04 15:55:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I missed this.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2004-12-01 13:27:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oy vey. How awkward.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-12-01 13:17:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2004-12-01 03:16:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ouch
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2004-12-01 03:01:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, Method. That made me squeal like a guinea pig.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-12-01 01:49:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haven't rated it yet.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2004-12-01 01:37:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-12-01 01:24:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
!selur dohtem
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-12-01 01:11:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this made me splutter with laughter.
marvelously absurd, but also oddly low key, an excellent mix.
(i got the link to this from the latest best ever post post)
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-06 02:33:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...
What is there, really, to say?
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-10-14 22:52:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Mauled by hippos?
Submitted by Trishtopher (user info) at 2004-10-14 20:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This invoked my infamously obnoxious squeaky laugh...
Submitted by Xile (user info) at 2004-10-14 19:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CheshireCat (user info) at 2004-10-14 18:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I giggled like a coked up school girl.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-10-14 18:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You one bad French mutha.
Submitted by PeteyD4 (user info) at 2004-10-14 03:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aahahahahahahahaha... I wanna read everything you've written... yes, that is todays plan
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2004-10-14 02:49:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Adding flame to the... heat? Whatever. STOP LOOKING AT ME!
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-10-14 01:32:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BAW?
Submitted by Slypher (user info) at 2004-10-14 01:24:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember I felt so bad when I accidentally gave this a 0, but now that I've talked to Method, I don't feel so bad nomores.
But still, I'll give it a 2, mainly because I'm a little bitch.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-10-14 01:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-10-14 01:08:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK! I keep missing your shit! That's it. Your user info is now my homepage. I hope your happy.
Submitted by Chumble <Chumblefuzz.at.gmail.com> at 2004-09-04 16:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh dear lord. everytime i think about this post I laugh my ASS off.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2004-09-04 13:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah really funny, well done!
Submitted by snootymop (user info) at 2004-09-04 13:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
tee hee hee
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-08-19 02:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I don't drink ball sweat, but I'd take a shower in yours.
Submitted by Kochi (user info) at 2004-08-12 20:04:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great shit!
SPEET ON YOU!
Submitted by JuevoSplash (user info) at 2004-07-03 15:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I SPEET ON YOU"
Submitted by versus_god (user info) at 2004-06-17 00:09:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so did the bitch make with the headwop?
Submitted by dudette (user info) at 2004-06-16 23:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This makes me laugh every time I read it.
... And I've read it many, many times.
Submitted by GhostWriter (user info) at 2004-06-04 03:38:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Crazy Frenchmen!
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-06-03 23:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet. I can't wait to go on my first date in 16 months.
I hate being single. I fucking HATE it.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-03 19:12:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fucking hilarious.
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2004-06-03 15:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha fucking hell
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-03 14:49:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So if we get some angry hippos we could have a little entertainment going on......
Bummer about your date. See you could have explained the spit if you hadn't hit her. The solution for next time: get HER drunk instead.
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2004-06-03 11:34:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeh! Hit the bitch!
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-06-03 01:22:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny stuff.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-06-03 00:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by your_brown_eyed_girl (user info) at 2004-06-02 15:40:30 (#)
Ranking: 1
B@W!
Fantastic
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
HAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-06-03 00:48:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great Method. Nicely done.
I SPEET ON YOU!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Submitted by For_Rent (user info) at 2004-06-02 22:15:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Im trying really hard to no make a fool out of myself by laughing when there is no one else talking to me.......It isnt going so well....Best thing i have ever read.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-06-02 21:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have just realized that I sound extremely stupid laughing while sitting alone in a small room.
Wonderful post.
Submitted by Pacifist248 (user info) at 2004-06-02 21:03:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2004-06-02 19:30:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was laughing for like, 15 minutes after I was done reading this. My coworker and I went on a smoke break (we both read it) and just randomly started giggling a few times. Fantastic.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-06-02 16:13:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"My penis sighed, gave me a dirty look, packed up his things and left, muttering under his breath"
That has to be one of the best lines I have ever read.
Submitted by kireisarah (user info) at 2004-06-02 15:50:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Extreme quality.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-02 15:48:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by your_brown_eyed_girl (user info) at 2004-06-02 15:40:30 (#)
Ranking: 1
B@W!
Fantastic
-------------------
Ouch.
Submitted by your_brown_eyed_girl (user info) at 2004-06-02 15:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
B@W!
Fantastic
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-06-02 15:21:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Goddamnit, my manager is French. Now everytime she speaks I imagine her screeching "I SPEET ON YOU!"
Damn you to hell.
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2004-06-02 15:12:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is awesome
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-06-02 14:44:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-02 13:20:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahahaha
man, you are a LOSER!
Submitted by nemo (user info) at 2004-06-02 13:08:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2004-06-02 12:14:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Angry.
Hippos.
Rule.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-06-02 11:47:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoop! There it is!
Submitted by oddbob (user info) at 2004-06-02 06:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You poor, poor bastard.
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2004-06-02 06:16:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Partially for the superb writing...
Another partially for writing so well to get a perfect +2 and on most heated, wow that takes skill.
Submitted by moneyshot (user info) at 2004-06-02 04:22:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for being able to share that story and superb writing skills. Method you are a talent to be reckoned with.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-06-02 04:15:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This sucks
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-06-02 02:13:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"My penis sighed, gave me a dirty look, packed up his things and left, muttering under his breath"
===================================================================================================
THAT WAS HILARIOUS
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-06-02 01:12:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The people around me heard "I SPEET ON YOU!", like I was some evil Frenchman abusing his girlfriend.
----------------
holy shit that's classic. i'm going to frame this. +2's all around. on me.
Submitted by Adona (user info) at 2004-06-01 22:50:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Made me laugh.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2004-06-01 22:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahaha. totally awesome. i hope you write some more.
-BongZilla
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-06-01 22:16:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yo ho ho!
Submitted by Rainer (user info) at 2004-06-01 21:47:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-06-01 21:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
solid.
Submitted by dudette (user info) at 2004-06-01 21:24:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Crap.
Submitted by jcricket (user info) at 2004-06-01 20:58:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking beautiful man...
oh shit, that was too funny.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-06-01 19:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
outstanding. You should call her again and act as if you had a great time.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-06-01 17:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations, this is rated as the Best Ever.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-01 16:42:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why haven't I seen this til now? This is fucking hysterical.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-06-01 16:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My boyfriend wrote "Mark heart you" on a rubberband.
Now THAT'S romance.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-01 15:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahahahaha. I don't think I would have left if I were her. I would have seriously enjoyed watching you try to squirm your way out the hole you dug.
And yes, I agree, dating is a chore most of the time.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-06-01 15:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kick ass.
Submitted by etet72 (user info) at 2004-06-01 14:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Now, seeing that I was drunk, I naturally assumed I had the reflexes of a cheetah. Seeing that I was drunk, I forgot to assume that I had the depth perception of a blind monkey."
Hah. I love it.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2004-06-01 11:15:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My penis sighs all too often. I'm under the impression that I could fuck up a wet dream. Great read, I had to stifle my laughter.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-06-01 11:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I +2 ZEE FAGGOTE.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2004-06-01 10:39:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Classic!
Submitted by Homsar (user info) at 2004-06-01 10:31:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome...I wish I went on dates where crazy stuff like that happened...
sigh...I hate myself.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-06-01 10:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That blows.
Submitted by Lucky (user info) at 2004-06-01 10:03:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't think of anything to say....
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-01 09:31:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha you poor poor thing!
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-06-01 09:11:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not gold. Platinum.
Submitted by jboogz (user info) at 2004-06-01 08:39:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by antiLemming (user info) at 2004-06-01 07:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gold.
Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2004-06-01 07:21:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-06-01 06:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I speeet on you!
Gold.
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2004-06-01 05:48:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-06-01 05:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh God, it's awesome.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-06-01 05:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tres bien.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-06-01 04:56:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That needs a NSFW, but only to stop people getting fired for laughing too loudly in the office in front of customers.
Submitted by QueenAnnesRevenge (user info) at 2004-06-01 03:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-06-01 03:49:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that is some funny stuff
-Black Ninja
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-06-01 03:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BAW
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-06-01 03:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh hunny.... I feel for you...
Oh man that was funny....
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-01 02:59:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dick!
Submitted by Slypher (user info) at 2004-06-01 02:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I SPEET ON YOU"
Hahahahahahahaha.
Oh my sweet Jesus that was fucking funny.
I love Method.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-06-01 02:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know. I know.
I hit a date with a meatball, once. Things just went downhill from there.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2004-06-01 02:40:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-2 die
Submitted by MoneyG (user info) at 2004-06-01 02:21:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was supposed to be asleep right now. Unfortunatly, I was not able to stiffle my laughter, which came out in a huge burst. That was seriously funny.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-06-01 02:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I woke up my roommate laughing.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-06-01 01:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, how I laughed. Fuck me that was funny. You have my sympathies though. The Dating Game is a jungle - that's why I'm abstaining for a few more months and going to get drunk with my friends instead.
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-06-01 01:57:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YEs! Why sleep when this is on Uber? This is hilarious! hahahahhaahahhaha
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-06-01 01:55:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-01 01:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I speet on her is now my new favorite catch phrase.
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2004-06-01 01:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"My penis sighed, gave me a dirty look, packed up his things and left, muttering under his breath."
Quality.
Submitted by SausageKing (user info) at 2004-06-01 01:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"My penis sighed, gave me a dirty look, packed up his things and left, muttering under his breath."
This is fucking great!